Sometimes it feels like

              you ripped the bleeding heart

straight out of my chest

             and chained the veins attached

into a noose around my neck.

                                     Then you leave,

off like nothing happened at all,

                    pulling tighter and tighter

until I can’t breathe

          less I allow you to drag me along,

dead pulse unbeating,

                               and blood pouring

onto the road behind us.

       And the worst part: I let you do it,

because I know

                     I won’t escape this prison

without losing that heart along the way.

Delusional, perhaps,

But when I feel his lips

Press against my cheek,

Feel the warmth of his fingers

Melt into my skin,

And hear him call me

His hummingbird,

It's real enough for me.

I know I don't have to shut the door anymore.

I know that I can leave it open for others.

I know that I am safe now,

And no one will come in and hurt me.

I know all this, yet still,

Old habits are hard to kill.

People ruin things

I told my friend.

Overthinking-

And some bad advice

Please, just be free.

People ruin things

I went back and

told my old lover-

You didn't have to

Give me up.

The problem is,

Some of us listen

To everyone else's

Own intentions

Hidden as advice.

People ruin things,

I've seen it proved.

How hard it is

For a girl who listens

To no one-

To watch loved ones

Be ruined by-

Other people.

-Liz

You were always a good storyteller,

A good liar

Maybe that's how you convinced me

We had a future

When we never had a present

I always wonder where you are

What you're doing

What you're thinking about

But then I remind myself

You're somewhere I am not

And will never be

You are off laughing

Making someone smile

And falling in love

And you're thinking of when

You can get back home

And how much you love her

I really do not need to wonder,

But it helps me believe

You're missing me

Like I miss you

When I was young,

I sung a song

with a word

I heard

but didn't understand.

Hallelujah.

And my father

heard me sing

a song

his father sung

that he passed on

to me.

Hallelujah.

And when I grew

into myself,

I finally knew

the meaning of

all the little,

all the different,

Hallelujahs.