you're my pollution,

the smoke in my skies and the

sludge in my rivers

you blocked out the sun

and left me to shrivel up.

i faded to black

you took my colors

away from me and used them

to your advantage

the funny part is,

i still wish you luck, even

if you loathe my soul

I used to dream in lucid's damaged threads. Always confusing nightmares with loveliness. As I dangle fragilely from broken chandeliers which snap sending me collapsing through the worn wood floors and old base boards.

I watch silently as light and darkness begin to dance in a struggle. They swirl and melt in a graceful ballet just for me. A never ending battle fought over eons neither ever winning nor losing. I watch as time stops, and it begins to rewind and fast forward through endless cycles of daydreams and reality. Countless memories blurring with unknown fantasy. Temporarily or permanently will my sanity sleep? That is not a question for me to decide. So I again close my eyes as the moon sweet talks to me. Whispering its solemn lullaby. Making promises it can't possibly keep. Begging me to sleep under the skies that are void of stars. Cloaked in pure darkness. Saying it will be all right if it is just for tonight. So I lie to myself that it's only one time - the last time. As the shadows reach for me. Pulling me into their keep. The red strings of fate tie and bind my wrists and feet and I float like a balloon. A marionette on a grand stage with the Devils hands managing the play. A beautiful display in my mind as I stare at the decadence and luxury my demons have brought to me as gifts for my loyalty. There is no loneliness, no emptiness, no sadness here. But the speaks only moon lies, as I open back up my eyes to see the dirty filth which now surrounds me. Decrepit and decaying as my life falls to ruins. The passage of time watches as the walls peel its skin and the darkness sets in.

I bath in the sunlight only momentarily as it begins amplifying the sickness. The weight of the void my sins have created are too overwhelming here. Threatening to show the world my blackened teeth. Truths mirror pointing a finger as it shows what kind of person I have become. I try to deny it. Shutting my eyes tightly. Willing it to be different every time I open them back up. But it's not. Instead it is worse every time the light shines. Realizing I am laying broken on the floor in rags. A skeleton of what I formerly was. Yet the sun still begs me to cut the umbilical cord which feeds my need. Promising a recovery which will allow me to see the beautifulness of reality. But the light is much colder than the grips of hell. So I sink deeper under its spell. Until the light dims and fades into the blackness of the night and there is no longer a need to open my eyes. Because that world has crumbled and fallen away. As I lay in a perpetual state of failing. A never ending dance with the devil as I enter my final resting place. Forever forgotten by the light of the world.

He jumps

Trying to soar

Higher than where the Angels lay

But he finds

He only falls

Deeper

Into the demons layer

Blood

bleeds between you and I

As tears run in liquid red

Forming a masterpiece

An impossible dream

Forged of hopes woven thread

With faith that questions not

But Fantasia's trumpets sound

Forecasting the darkened night

Waiting for miracles

That were never meant to be

Strapped in the seat

The car begins to move

Click

Click

Click

Up the hill slowly

Adrenalin pumping

Until

Silent free falling

Speed riveting

Around the corner bends

Through the tunnels

Frontwards

Backwards

Upside down

Can't catch breath

Terrified

But when it's over

And you realize

You're alright

All you can think about

Is riding it one more time

Gracefully he spreads his wings

Fingertips reach for me

Drops of light fall like rain

Soothing calls my name

Soft whispers float on by

Warmth lingers nights embrace

encircling me in smoke

Black ribbons pool in red puddles

Below my foot lays my grave

As Silken clouds form above

Gray and ash silence sound

Everything I ever wanted

Was handed to you

On a silver spoon

While I was caged

And bound by chains

Punished

For moms mistakes

You were rewarded

While I was bruised

Nothing I did

Could compare to you

So how is it now

That I am here

And you - In the grave?

He was splitting

Splintering

Falling apart

I tried to hold him together

Grabbing pieces as they broke away

Protecting them from breaking

Yet it was pointless

Even those I managed to catch

Disintegrated and blew away

Until he was nothing

But a pile of dirty clothes

Begging to be cleaned

But no amount of bleach

Could erase the stains

He left behind