Is it Beethoven or is it a broken string of a sitar

Is it the missing hole in that flute you played so beautifully 

Or is it my own avatar

Is it a mark of my own lipstick in the inside of my heart?

Or is it that moment when God created man

That moment when I became you and you became I

Is it my own smirk, my own mocking laugh on my own faith?

Or is it faith laughing on my choice

Is it my own voice?

Or is it you whispering those promises again the way you always did

Is it that glass of champagne which healed me for a night?

Or is it the drink that teared me apart with those love bites

I’m so tired of these questions

Is it my own love for asking that took me in infinite custody?

Or is it the curse of believing so madly – of not asking anything when it came to you

Probably it is my own test of pristine, as if the sky stared and said "hey you, how could your favorite quote be ; faith means asking no questions, I’m going to see you on that”

and so it was and is the sky after all …

It wasn’t even satisfied on testing me with its seven layers alone …

it took all the blues from the oceans, rivers, seas and then it knocked on heaven’s door ,

they gave it that blue from the fountains and then even it thought it needed more

so no one knows that the sky has hearts hidden inside stars

It cut open all the stars that it had ever known

They bled blue

The universe was in rain

The heavens were seeing a flood for the first time

There was no difference left between sky and water, rain and earth

The stars bled an ink blue

It took all the blues it had gathered for my test and the inky blue of its bleeding-star hearts

And wrote; “my dear girl, I believe you, you didn’t care about a thing in the world or the heavens when you loved”

It wrote more; “you weren’t scared when I was questioning you, you are blessed to have loved so – yet you and I are the same my girl, we will be so blue in infinity...love and faith happen with a one-color price, don’t fret, blue is beautiful, it saves lives.

The banker told me I’m too simple for the world

The table below her rose and her pen curled

All receipts started flying

All the cash came into my wallet

She looked at me in awe

I brought the table down

Gave all the cash back to her

My wallet was still full

Hers a bit more empty

I thought 

If you and I were going to fall, 

we would fall like we were on a trampoline

Each time we would laugh and jump high on it …with bellies hurting

Twinkles spreading

Charmed in each other’s hold

I thought we were that kind of magic

Where even if I drew a home like a three year old, 

with a chimney on top and one line where all animals, gardens and family stands –

you would stick it with your heart without making fun of me

I thought we were that magic

Where I could be a clown, a fool or a monster – 

and you would only push me ahead to be more of all of it

 …you even did …

I thought we were both ...magic

I know magic is unreal and temporary, 

I know it cannot be held for long

But I also thought we were faith,

Where I did and would… 

wake up in your arms every morning ...

the way the moon and the sun sleep, 

and everyone thinks they are far away, 

while they are always in a sweet embrace

They have been used so much by poets and writers,

 abused and misused too, 

people, angels, God, all have stories around them – 

yet they never care, they only look out for one another

I thought we were that faith –

 I felt like the queen bee ready to make honey from the flowers of our kisses,

And only you can tell…what kind of honey it could and would be…

I thought so much ….

My heart is a ‘marmalade’

You eat it with bread – you don’t need jam

My heart is a parachute

You put ears on both sides, 

it hates the screeching sound of the wind 

yet it can’t fly without it

My heart is a captain black cigar

The puff I see spreading in the line

 that surrounds the pupil in your eye

It turns your pupil to a place, 

which can hold an ocean of suns

A desert of tears

A vision that knows only sight, 

it crosses your skin

And sleeps with lights on, in you

My heart is my heart

you eat it with bread

warm, bread...

Fold pieces of meat and ad candy to taste,

Share a royal blue of hope and a laugh to fake

Touch the edges of your waist and measure it knowing that this is in orbit,

The circles above the zenith beneath, when a hand touches the skin – all else erupts blows and flows in the moment

when I feel you