For just a moment as I stepped in to the bookstore I had to close my eyes. I had to take that time to revel in the scent. Unless you are a bibliophile you wouldn’t understand. The smell of a real book is amazing! In the age when so much of what people are and do is switching over to computers it is one of the reasons why actual books are still around.

Only used book stores and libraries have this scent strong enough to enjoy it the moment you step in. It had been a while since I had been in either so I paused a second or two to enjoy it. One deep loving breath and I was ready to focus on what I had come in here for.

Only in a city as large as Chicago could you find an after-hours book store that sold actual literature and not smut. It was a small store with stacks and stacks of books. The shelves went floor to ceiling and books spilled over occasionally into piles in the aisle. There were a few chairs here and there. I could get lost here and not come up for air for days!

After gazing lovingly at the books I noticed the clientele. Not what I expected. The place held only 3 or 4 people and that was no surprise considering it was 11 o’clock at night but ALL of them were men. The next odd thing I noticed was that all had paused in what they were looking at or doing and turned towards me!

I took a quick and nervous glance to the nearest shelf just to make sure. There were no pornographic volumes on it, even old ones. 'Hmmmm, why would they want to look at me then?' The stares weren’t hostile but I definitely got the feeling that I was out of place not wanted even, an outsider that had mistakenly wandered in to their special world and would soon depart.

'Nope. Not gonna happen.' I had come in for a reason. I squared my shoulders and made my way to the counter where an older gentleman was finishing a sale.

“Are you lost?” The gentleman asked me while handing change to his customer.

“No, I’m not lost. I came here to find a book.” I managed. It wasn’t a smooth sentence. It came out high because I was nervous but I DID get it out!

“Well, if you are looking for a book, you COULD be in the right place.” Came his response. “Did you have a specific title in mind or just a certain genre?”

At least he sounded ready to be of help. The other customers went back to their browsing and began to patently ignore me but I still felt them listening to the conversation. 'Weird.'

I stood up a little straighter. They HAD to know that they were making me uncomfortable and it occurred to me that they might even be doing it on purpose to make me leave quicker. That got me a little bit angry so I cleared my throat and said, “Yes, I have a VERY specific book in mind but I don’t think it is one you have simply laid out on one of your shelves. I understand you are a collector, is that correct?”

This made the old gentleman behind the counter look closer at me.

“Yes, I am a collector. How do you know of me?” He asked.

“You recently acquired a book that I am interested in and so I found out as much I could about you.” I said. "Which wasn't much.

For some reason this seemed to make the man nervous or angry I wasn’t sure which. His cheeks which had been colorless blushed slightly and he quickly answered. “You have my attention but I am not sure that I appreciate the idea of someone looking me up - as it were. Why are you so interested in whatever book it was I bought? I buy an awful lot of them you know.”

I really needed to be on his good side, if he had one, so I quickly said, “I assure you it was for a very important reason! I’ve actually traveled here, on my own, all the way from Texas just to discuss this with you. I promise I’m not trying to pry or stalk you or anything.” I managed to give a small smile but it was very weak.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I didn't have to turn my head to know that all of those men in the room had again turned to watch me and were staring holes in my back. The old man stayed quiet and I began to doubt whether I should have even done this. I didn't even know if the book was going to be worth all the trouble I was going to. But I was desperate. Nothing else I'd looked into had helped.

After what seemed like a year but was probably only a minute or two the old gentleman shared a look with the other man behind the counter and then turned to me and asked what the book was called. He'd decided to hear me out!

“I have it right here.” I said and hurriedly undid the paper I'd scrunched up in my hand. I'd forgotten it was there and it was a little damp because I'd been so nervous but it was still readable. I looked down and read it, “Book of Household Remedies and ‘Spells’” Then I looked up. “It is from the 18th century and you recently bought it at an auction is that correct?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a long pause and I began counting the seconds in my head. I managed to keep eye contact but was sure that he was trying to decide how to get rid of me. I shivered and realized the room felt as if it had dropped about 20 degrees in 20 seconds. Still, I just stood there waiting. I had to hope against hope that he was the right person and would decide to admit it and not send me away.

After 30 seconds, it was so agonizing that I had to look away for a moment. I gave a wary glance around me and then wished I hadn’t. The other customers WERE watching me openly again!

In fact, one had moved closer!

I was on the verge of turning and trying to make a run for the door when the old gentleman spoke up.

“I think,” He said. “That we should carry this discussion on in private if that is all the same to you.”

I gulped and turned back to him and then I nodded. I couldn't trust myself to speak. My throat had gone dry when I saw the reaction those men had had. It was going to be a relief to speak with him and not have all these people listening in or watching. Hope suddenly flared in my chest and I thought I might actually see the book before the night was through.

The older gentleman signaled to the man who had come closer and they switched places. It was such a normal action that I felt foolish. I'd been on edge ever since I came in. This man probably knew all his customers and they knew each other that was all. Naturally I would be a new face and, since it WAS later in the evening, they were suspicious. That was all. I'd come straight from the airport and wasn't planning to stay but turn around and go back home. This was just a normal shop and in my tired, frazzled state I was misinterpreting everything.

People probably weren’t even staring at me. ‘Get ahold of yourself girl!’ I thought, giving myself a stern mental shake. Then I followed the man to the back of the room where he had a small office. ‘Don’t blow this!’

The old man opened the door and stood aside to let me go first. Inside I saw an old desk which was very tidy and looked almost spartan when compared to the tightly packed bookstore itself. The older gentleman shut the door and indicated the chair in front of the desk and, as I sat, he moved around behind the desk and took his own seat.

“Before we begin may I offer you anything to – eat?” He asked.

I shook my head and smiled. “Thank you for offering though.”

He smiled back and said, “Well, you said you’d traveled all the way from Texas and that’s quite a ways from there to my city of Chicago.” The old gentleman adjusted his seat and then said, “I’m not at all sure that I can help you but I’d like to hear why this seems to be so important before I make up my mind.”

I nodded. The message was clear. He was going to allow me to make a case for seeing the book but wasn’t ready to admit he had it or even tell me where it had gone unless he liked what I said. I cleared my throat again and began.

“Well, Sir . . .”

“You may call me Mr. Bell,” he replied.

“Mr. Bell,” I said. “I really need to see the book. I want to read it. I’m not as sure about buying it because – well – the price it sold for WAS somewhat out of my price range but I feel that it may hold the key to something I am trying to cure.”

Mr. Bell raised an eyebrow and said, “I see. So you aren’t interested in buying the book?”

I could feel the book sliding out of my reach again and said quickly, “If that is what I must do to read it then I will TRY to buy it but I would rather read it – with the owner present of course,” I added quickly. “I mean, I know it is a valuable piece of literature because of its age but I would be willing to pay a fee just to be allowed to read it.” I finished with a small hopeful smile.

Mr. Bell sat for another moment as if he thought I had more to say but I simply sat and waited. “Well, my dear . . .”

“Oh please call me Tess. I’m Tess Williams.” I said quickly.

“Well, Tess, you have presented me with a bit of a mystery. I admit I am surprised that you would even be interested in such a document since it is clear you are not a normal collector. You just want to READ it, is that correct?”

I nodded again. Hope was filling my chest once again.

“I would like to know WHAT this document might say that would help you and I would also like to know what you are trying to cure before I make my decision as to whether or not to help you.” Mr. Bell said again. His voice was very neutral but I sensed that he was interested. I just hoped I would still have his good graces after I explained.

I had rehearsed just what I would say and was ready, “Mr. Bell, I work for a pharmaceutical company - in their beauty product division.” I paused. “Did you know that a number of beauty products use bat guano?”

Mr. Bell raised an eyebrow but nodded again. “Yes, I did know of this.”

“Well, my company has several bat colonies that they use to harvest the guano from and one of my jobs is to make sure that those colonies are healthy and producing. I’m a biologist. Anyway, a number of the bats are dying off for no apparent reason. Some people think it is environmental or because of something the company has done but I think that there is something else happening.”

I paused again to see if I still had Mr. Bell’s attention. He motioned for me to continue.

“We’ve tested the colonies for all the bacteria and viruses known for bats or ANY animal to have that would come in contact with them. We have come up negative. I think there is something we’ve missed. Something that bats have had in the past but no one cared about at that time. In the 18th Century it was reported that a large number of bat bodies were found and some were even found as the bat was dying.

There was a lot of speculation as to what was causing it. The man who wrote that book was one of the first people who took bats seriously. The infection or whatever it was obviously went away or was defeated because we still have bats and I believe his writing will hold some clues for me as to what may be causing this and what I can do to stop it.”

“Let me see if I have this straight. You use bats in your products and, since they are dying, you are trying to find out what is wrong with them?” Mr. Bell paused and, when I gave a nod, he continued, “You also believe the key to this problem is in the book I bought?”

“I’m hopeful that it is.” I said.

“It is your company then that wants this book?” Mr. Bell asked.

I hesitated. I'd been afraid he would ask this question and hadn't been sure what I would do. I decided I wanted to be honest. “No, I’m afraid that they are not interested. Even though 20 percent of the population has died - they are still getting enough guano for their products.”

“So you, alone, are trying to solve this?” Mr. Bell asked in surprise.

“Yes, I'm afraid that is true.” I said and then hurried on in a pleading voice. “I know that it may seem silly or unimportant to most people but one link in a chain can affect the entire chain and I believe it is MORE important than people think it is!”

Mr. Bell smiled softly but it wasn't in a condescending way and brought the subject back to the book. “Are you aware that, Book of Household Remedies and ‘Spells’ discusses things like witches and vampires and illnesses THEY might have?”

“Oh, that.” I smiled. I lifted my hand and waved it in a shooing motion. "I'm not one of THOSE types of people. That's are just part of what people believed in back then. I respect it as a part of our cultural past. I know that it mentions bats and vampires as being ill with the same thing but that is because people thought vampires WERE bats. No one really gives that much thought anymore.”

“Indeed.” Mr. Bell said quietly.

“However, the remedies mentioned in the book for vampires might just lead me to a cure for the bats. I promise I’m not some nut looking for witches and such. I’m just a dedicated scientist seeking to solve a problem.” I stopped thinking Mr. Bell might want to add something but he didn't speak so I went on. “Will you at least tell me whether or not you have the book?”

Mr. Bell continued to sit for a moment as if in deep thought. At last, he seemed to come to a decision because he gave a small nod and then began to speak. “Ms. Williams, I regret that I no longer have this book in my own collection.”

My heart sank. This was NOT what I had hoped to hear.

“But,” Mr. Bell went on. “I am in contact with the owner and I am willing to let him know of your interest and to assure him that I believe you are sincere in your request to use it for research.”

It wasn’t what I had been hoping for but at least it WAS better than nothing. “Thank you, but I would prefer to talk with him about my interest myself. Would you give me his information?”

“No,” Mr. Bell said. “I’m afraid I cannot. It would be breaking my own rules about privacy for clients. But I WILL be happy to forward a message from you with my own note.”

It was the best that I was going to get. Private collectors were notoriously … well … private. Partly so that thieves wouldn’t know where to look. I’d been lucky to get Mr. Bell’s information.

“I accept.” I said with a smile then I took out my pen and notebook and wrote down my contact information for Texas as well as a short note with a plea to see the book. Then I handed the papers to Mr. Bell who had sat watching me quietly as I wrote.

“I appreciate you doing this for me. Can you at least tell me about how long it might take to hear a reply?” I asked as I stood up. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to escape those eyes. They weren’t hostile or anything but the way he’d watched me had reminded me of how creepy the entire store had felt when I’d come in. Mr. Bell stood and moved over to the door and opened it for me.

I raised my hand to shake Mr. Bell’s but he took mine and kissed it in a way that was old fashioned.

“A week, two at the most, and I will call you even if the answer is negative.” Mr. Bell said and then shut his door.

I wanted to get out of there quickly but glanced around the store on my way out. All the other customers were gone and it was empty – for the moment. It didn’t feel creepy or wrong anymore.

‘I’m REALLY tired!’ I thought and gave myself another mental shake. One moment I was getting scared and the next I was almost charmed by Mr. Bell only to get creeped out again. It just was NOT like me to switch back and forth. ‘The sooner I get back home to my work and my own bed, the better.’ I decided.

That wasn’t going to happen tonight though. It was only a block or two to a busy street where I'd be able to flag down a taxi and I had to admit, silly or not, I was going to walk rather faster than normal all the way - something still made me nervous about the entire encounter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After she left, Mr. Bell came out and signaled the man behind the counter. “Gerome, I think you had better let the others know that Ms. Williams needs to arrive ... safely to her hotel.” He said and took his place behind the counter as Gerome left. Then he lifted the phone beside the register and began dialing a number he knew by heart.

It had been almost two weeks since I'd visited that weird bookstore and, at first, I kept checking my messages several times each day. Each time there was nothing from the buyer I was filled with disappointment and self-doubt. But by the next weekend I'd practically given up hope. I still checked each evening but no longer expected to get an answer. The question was what to do now? At work I'd told my boss and his boss and so on all about my worries but TLC just wasn't going to put any money into the problem so long as there were sufficient bats to produce the guano they needed.

Other coworkers just couldn't understand why it mattered so much to me and I couldn't really explain it myself. There were plenty of jokes at my expense; mostly behind my back but a few were rude right to my face. If I gave up it would be a lot easier on me but I just couldn't seem to do it. So I spent a lot of time alone. At work I did my job to the best of my ability but began to avoid social situations. I spent most of my lunch hours in my office.

On the second Monday after my trip I decided it was time to try to get my life back. The first step was eating my lunch with others. Now my lunch was usually at midnight. I worked nights. I didn't want the cafeteria at TLC and so I made my way to Gibson's across the street. It was open 24 hours and there were plenty of other people from TLC who went there. When I opened the door to go inside I almost turned around. The place was packed! Apparently there had been a local play nearby that just got out so many of the play goers had come in for a bite to eat.

'No.' I told myself. 'It's time.' So I looked around and found a small table that hadn't been taken yet. I sat down, gave the busy waitress my order, and pulled out my book to read. Just because I was socializing more didn't mean I was ready to talk to other people. The food was pretty good but my book was better and I settled down to enjoy the next 30 minutes. I was so focused on the book that at first I didn't hear what the person standing by my table said but he repeated himself.

"Excuse me. I said is this seat taken?" He said.

I didn't even bother to look up. People were always borrowing chairs in here; especially when the place was packed. I just nodded my head and waved my hand at the chair. It was several minutes later that the hair on the back of my neck started standing up. I was being watched!

I looked up and was met by a pair of dark brown eyes looking right at me. The man had sat down at my table! "Look buddy. I"m on my lunch hour here and I'm not looking for a date." I said.

"Good. Because I'm not looking for a date either." He smiled. The man WAS very attractive. But his comment wasn't what I expected.

"Then what ARE you looking for?" I asked. "A place to sit and eat?" I finished sarcastically.

"No, I'm looking for you."

'So he WAS trying to get a date!' "Listen buddy. I'm not looking for a companion." I began but he interrupted me.

"No, I'm sorry if I've put it badly. I really am looking for you - that is - IF your name is Tess Williams." He said with a crooked smile.

"That IS my name." I said. I couldn't help but be suspicious. Most people didn't come looking for me, even at work. My job was one that had a lot of isolation which I usually liked. Now here was a really good looking guy saying he was actually looking for me for some reason. There had to be a catch.

"Good." He said. "Let me introduce myself so you can stop worrying. "My name is Doyle Ingrum and a few weeks ago you asked someone about a book I purchased."

"Oh." Not the smartest thing for me to say but I was surprised. It wasn't what I expected and he was NOTHING like the person I had imagined buying the book! "Um, yes." I was trying to think of something to say but my mind was blank.

"You expressed an interest in just ... reading the book and not buying it." He said, filling the awkward silence. "I thought that was strange but then Mr. Bell said you were trying to save some ... bats was it?"

"Yes." I managed.

"Well, I had some business here and thought I'd come by in person. It all seemed very strange and I'm curious." He smiled again.

'This was my chance! If I could just interest him enough to let me read that book.' My heart started racing and I couldn't help the hope that suddenly shot through me. "Thank you for agreeing to hear me out Mr. Ingrum." I managed. "I really feel that this is important. Over 1/3 of the bat population has died or begun showing signs of the disease already."

Mr Ingrum's eyebrow raised showing interest or surprise I wasn't sure which. "So many? Why isn't your company taking an interest?"

It was a good question and one I'd bitterly asked over and over. "I can't say for sure but I believe it's because there are still plenty of bats out there to produce the guano they need and so it just isn't there problem." 

"You're saying it's about the money." Mr. Ingrum said. 

"Frankly, yes." I nodded.

"So WHY is it so important to you?" He asked. "Why are you willing to invest so much of your time and money in this project when no one else is?"

That was a good question too. One that I wasn't really sure I knew myself. "It's complicated." I said.

"The best things are." Mr. Ingrum replied. Then he sat there waiting for an answer.

"Okay, I'll try to explain." I smiled. "It isn't that bats are more important than people but if there were a disease out there killing 1/3 of our population people would be freaking out. It isn't fair that we use the bats for our products but don't care when they begin suffering from a disease. It matters." I paused to see what he would think.

He nodded non-commitally so I continued. "There's also the possibility that whatever is affecting the bats could jump species. If we don't get a handle on it other animals are at risk. Maybe even ourselves at some point." I stopped talking. I'd given this speech before to the company in person and in memos and they still weren't interested in it. If anything they had laughed at my worries. Would this guy also laugh? I told myself I didn't care if he did just so long as he let me read the book.