Can you force yourself to forget someone? No.

You can make small steps each day, and try to move on. You can delete pictures, throw away keepsakes, and refuse to contact them ever again. But memory is persistent, and leaves when it so chooses, not when you want it to. The more energy you put into trying to forget, the more energy is put into ensuring that you won't. Relax your grip, release your need for control, and trust that these things will give way to the sands of time.

Izzit juss me, or can ya dig that psychedelic super-funky rock'n'roll blues?

Ya know, those deep n' smooth sounds tha' come creepin' in ya ear and sit on ya brain like them hags that all the old folks down south talk 'bout in their scary stories...'cept it ain't scary...nah, it's soothing, medicine fo' tha soul, understand? Like an ol' friend you ain't seen in a while...

That skinny lil' nappy-headed boy really knew how to pluck them strings...born out there in the wes' coast with them blues burstin' straight from his heart..yessir, I tell ya...shame ta see what happened to 'im...God rest his soul...be a long time 'fore we see sumpin' like that 'round these parts again...

Holding onto that which burns you will only result in boiled blood and broken skin.

Sacrifice is not an easy task- for peace and freedom are never easily earned, but with them comes the chance to begin anew.

If a poorly built structure is soon set to crumble, why should one break their back trying to stop bricks from falling out of place?

I feel as if so many people think of the idea of self-love as looking in the mirror and accepting what you see, or taking the time to pamper yourself and indulge in the finer things. No doubt, these are great things for a person to do- but I see "loving yourself" as treating yourself in the same way that you would want another to treat you, or the way that you would treat someone that you genuinely care for. To honor and respect yourself, to have expectations that are high but not unrealistic, to understand where your boundaries lie and not allow others to cross them at the sake of your own well-being.

Bleak as it may sound, at the end of all things, you will have no one but yourself. So it's important to nurture your deeper needs and passions.

I tried to get into an important website, only to be told that my password was incorrect. It asked for security questions, all of which I know I answered correctly but the site was insistent that I don't know my favorite color, city I was born in or the street I grew up on. How silly of me to think that my unchanging history would have been a secure enough way to respond to artifical interrogation.

Who am I to argue with a machine? I must have been a different person on the afternoon I created that account. Was I feeling put together that day, confident enough to use proper nouns and a full address? Or was I tired, impatient, and lazy, deciding instead to use shorthand phrases in lower case letters?

If today is going to be so strongly affected by things like capitalization, puncuation, and a poorly used space bar, I may just go back to bed. If the world outside is so intent on denying me of the pleasure of my whims, what choice do I have but to feast, sleep, and binge on science fiction?

People are often surprised to find out that a 25-year-old bi-racial "alternative" woman from South Carolina would have such a deep love for a sitcom about a wealthy middle aged man living in Seattle, but here are some things the hoity-toity radio psychiatrist has brought to my attention:

-It's okay to feel intense grief over losing a partner. (As Dr. Crane expresses to a radio caller, with a breakup comes the death of the way you thought your life was going to be)

-Sometimes we sabotage the good things in our life because we are afraid that we will lose them anyway. (There's a great two part episode called Don Juan in Hell that gets this point across magnificently)

-Status means little, especially when it is based on the opinions of those who only care about what you're wearing and where you're going. (Frasier and his brother Niles try embarrasingly hard to stay mixed in with the upper crust)

-It's okay to be who you are and pursue the things you like. (Their father wanted them to be "manly men", but Frasier and Niles like operas and fine art, and are quite talented vocalists and pianists)

-Take some things with a grain of salt and be wary of your sources. (like when Frasier lost out on the date with the model because he allowed her teenaged daugher to manipulate him)

-Things don't always go the way you want, but sometimes they still work out okay. (Frasier's average joe dad, Marty, was forced to move in with him after getting hurt, chaos ensues, bonds are often stretched and repaired)

-Don't judge a book by its cover. (Frasier was put off by the woman Marty hired as his live-in physical therapist, but Daphne soon became one of the family and Niles fell madly in love with her)

-When it's broken, just let it go. Some things aren't worth the hassle and never were. (Just...Maris. That's all I'm going to say about that)

-People can surprise you. (One of the radio hosts, Bulldog, is known for being a misogynistic overcompensating womanizer but as it turns out, he's great with kids)

-What was familiar in the past does not always suit you in the present. (Woody from Cheers came to visit and ugh GOD so did Diane, and it was very clear that it was time to let go)

-Just be honest about your limits and your needs. (Frasier attempts to sing an operatic number for a televised event and when it fails, he makes it worse by butchering a different song)

-Communication is key. (Daphne thought Marty was dying, Frasier was mistaken for a gay man...twice, maybe three times. One of those mistakes was made by a character played by the great Patrick Stewart, and Frasier, being the ever deseperate clout-chaser that he is, just rolled with it until the time came for a romantic getaway)

-It's okay to share the spotlight and don't take it personally if others like someone else more. (Dr. Mary comes on the show and propels to fame. Frasier has a VERY hard time with it, but eventually comes to accept it and embraces Mary's presence in his life)

-It's okay to be a nerd. (Frasier is a psychology nut and it obviously works out okay for him, and Noel, one of the employees at the station is a die hard Trekkie who teaches Frasier to speak Klingon...even if it that wasn't his intention at first)

-"With one hand, the past moves us foward, and with the other it holds us back." (This is a quote from Frasier's ex-wife Lilith, in the last episode she's seen in before the show ends. I liked it so much I got it tattooed on my feet)

-Presenting low-brow humor in a high-brow way is feasible and palatable. (There are many silly and deceptively simple one liners dressed up in poly-syllabic words and I giggle at them the same way I would a crudely worded fart joke)

I need to go now though. Frasier's been taken off of Netflix and I have to figure out how to talk my husband into buying me the DVD box set for my birthday...I could write more on the topic right now, but I think I'd rather just watch through the series again. You know, to uh...refresh my memory.

Who says you can't learn anything from television?

I keep leaving and coming back to this challenge because it's been difficult to manifest my feelings into a coherent statement. I think though, that is the mark of an excellent question. So, thank you for that.

There is no black and white answer to this. Some things that would have made me cry in the past, like a broken toy or the cliche of spilled milk, don't affect me as much now. I know that life goes on and these aren't things that will affect my life in the long run. I view that as a sign of growth and strength. The mature mind relinquishes control over that which will not serve it in significant ways.

But other things- like death, the loss of a relationship, and so on...to not cry or at the very least grieve over them is in my mind, a sign of a tired heart. For those who live with death or are in a constant string of tumultous relationships, the cycle is all too common and one becomes weary of constant grief. Sometimes it is preferable to feel nothing. But a rigid heart is not a strong heart, for things that are too rigid often break under immense pressure. I speak from experience. Try as we might, humans cannot run from their emotions and so eventually the dam will break, and tears will come flooding and drown us in their fervor.

Strength does not come from denial of who you are, how you feel or what you need. And you do not cease to be less traumatized by things just because you do not cry over them. I am of the opinion that to not allow yourself to cry over that which is worth crying for is to do yourself a disservice. The heart and mind grow stronger through experience. So, to fully experience even the sad things can only help us to develop more wholly in the long run.

I hope that made sense. And again, excellent question.

I’m leaving my wife.

The kids, too.

It gets harder each time.

Divorce? No, no. Not in the least. Everything I do is for them.

The contract has me gone for another three months. I live in fear that each will be the last. It’s greuling, especially now that Janie’s getting older. You know she didn’t even recognize me the last time I came back? Took three weeks for her to realize that I’m her daddy.

It’s dangerous work, but it pays the bills. I just hope that one day, they appreciate it and think about how I gave everything I could instead of thinking about the empty chair at the dinner table. All the missed concerts, birthdays...baseball games, award ceremonies.

I do it for them. All of it.