Hellish Grief
So toll the bells, the bells of Hell, my soul;
So when I hear the knell of bells from Hell
Then I can pay as well the hellish toll
To quell these heart-whole tears and say farewell
And so I creep and grope in Hell’s morass,
Up his steep slope Ephyra’s king still lopes
Where Ocnus shapes his rope to feed his ass,
Near pool and grapes untouched which Atys gropes.
So shall I find you there and pay the fare?
The ferryman shan’t wait for man nor child
Nor me, bereft, heart-sick, gone wild to bear
The loss of love, of you, unreconciled.
And lo! My steps will lead me back in kind
Without the one I went to Hell to find.
Bittersweet Dreams
She sleeps with me under the sheets,
A little ball of fur and joy,
Snoozing, curled up, warm and sweet,
She dreams of walks, her precious toy,
And when she dreams, she kicks her feet,
Chasing rabbits with her boy,
Whose dream will see him without mirth:
His dog's last day upon the earth.
6 February 2000
The clouds that rest on the tips of the mountains
The young Jewish girls who strut in their plaid skirts
A well-shaven homeless man who rubs elbows with the traffic
An angry man who brays into his cell phone
A smiling mother who leads her children by the hand
I hug myself in your clothes where I smell your hair
I dreamed of Bordeaux last night
I dreamed of Bordeaux last night
I was there
Place du Parlement at a chic restaurant
Talking with an old friend who cherished me
He was explaining to me the nuances
And subtleties of the subjunctive
And a mocking laugh escaped me
I was there
Place de la Victoire at a full bar
I yelled at the bartender
What I wanted to drink
In a thick American accent
I was there
Place Gambetta at an elegant café
I saw the rich bourgeois pass by
And the über-sexy guys
I want to kiss the person to my left
I was there
At the Fnac downtown
I was looking for the new Daho album
That I had seen earlier at Virgin
Where a young blonde was humming a melody
I was there
In front of the Grand Théâtre
I was waiting for the bus at midnight
When the hour chills me to the quick
I cover myself with my coat
I was there
Next to the Palais Gallien
In a maid’s quarters
I saw it through a dirty window
The sunrise covered it with colors
I was there
In front of the cathédrale St. André
Where I was contemplating the spires
At the supermarket at Mériadeck
Where a senile old man shoves me with his cart
I was there
On the bank of the Garonne
Where a beautiful and thick water flows like my love for you
At the rue Ste. Cathérine
Where I stumble, drunk with the Danes
I was there
In my bed
In your arms
Sleeping heavily
Happy to be there and there and there…
Groundhog Day
I will remember kissing you on the street
in the rain
The droplets sliding down our faces and lips
you in my arms
I pull you so close to my aching body
hearing your heart
Playing with the metal ball
in your tongue
Your soft lips are so warm
on mine
People on the street stop and look
but not us
We are only there for one
another
The world stops around us stops
for us
For that rain that February day would never
parch our thirst
For Fritz
the city is in bloom
i see everywhere the violet of
jacarandas jacarandas
like a primitive cry
a lamentation
may has finally arrived
pretty may covers the sidewalk
with violet flowers
that stick to the feet
of careless pedestrians
and my grief is violet
like those sticky flowers
i am no longer able to sing
certain songs without crying
without thinking of you of us
your impish smile
your shitty sayings
where are they? where are you?
when will may go away?
i am sick of this month
that i loved long ago
my memories about you float
like debris in the ocean
shipwrecked without anchor, not
cemented like the bricks
of dates, facts, and other random bullshit
may is in
grief is in flower
is in may is
in violet is in
you
and i want to flee from
this violet month that
this month without you where
Ode to Venice
Venice today
I drive there
The music loud in my ears
I sing along
Sunscreen all over my nose
Once arrived
Once parked
Sunglasses
Others do the same
The boulevard stretches the length of the beach
Where you see tourists of all ages
The sun warms me up and browns my skin
I stop to get a henna tattoo on my back
The Chinese symbol representing pleasure
My only goal is to wander at my leisure
The ocean, the sand, the soft wind cradles me
I think of you and the losses pierce me
I had already felt all those tears
To make myself better, to cure my heart
Cigarette lit, I draw it into my lungs
Remembering the sweetness we once had
An old woman with chestnut hair sees me coming
She calls me over to read my fortune
I pretend not to hear her
But I only want to understand it
T-shirt off, a book under my arm
I stroll, my heart bruised, without you
Our song plays in my head again
My thoughts are a sick and unhealthy storm
Venice today
And I flee
Without being able to escape
You and the city of my thoughts
Ode to London
There where one wanders along your banks
Among the crowds of boys with mohawks
The music of Vivaldi is always beautiful
At St. Martin-in-the-Fields lit by candles
Next to the Thames your joggers run there
The red headed kid was afraid at the Tower
The museum that had formerly been a factory
A man from Chicago with blue eyes and fine hair
The couples who walk like in a dream
Hand in hand and smiling like your Eve
The city of London celebrates the night
Despite the weather they love being and living there
That tomato woman whose breasts sagged
Bringing a heavy suitcase and yet
She prefers her rural and miniscule town
Where she would never be elbowed by a pretty crowd
The march of history you hug it to you
In your arms, at the feet of the railway
And I leave for Paris almost without effort
I think of you and my light heart beats harder
Ode to Reykjavik
Your tongue belongs to you, o mysterious isle
It sets you apart, makes you seem serious
There is the basalt church which watches from on high
The perpetual days that you promise me
The flowers, and the trees, the cinnamon and the incense
A cold and gentle rain that awakens the senses
The foxes, the birds and lastly the horses
Know the dusky insomnia and daytime slumber
The young and the old both love to walk around
The new and the ancient cohabitate here everyday
The taxis which prowl in the midnight sun
The boys who play a game in the rain
The city of Reykjavik postpones the night
The rain your pitiless rain
The rain which would freeze the heart of a devil
There is the nightclub where you tell me
A story of a rakish blond who was covered in shame
There is the nightclub where you drink and you dance
Here the pure air makes distances deceptive
There is the picturesque square where you see the photos
The eyes of my eyes and the skin of my skin
The blonds and redheads, tall and beautiful like they should be
I see the traces of a people of a thundering race
Your houses painted with bright and ardent colors
Your Viking blood of which you are proud
Completes your joy like the music of a prayer
There is Laugavegur Road, avenue of souvenirs
You stretch out and you watch the tourists come
You live in a dream where I cannot be
And still a florist smiled at me through her window
It is you, Dawn, o cruel and bitter goddess
Without sleep you watch over this city by the sea
And you, seated on the chest of your lover
You beg him, your eyes on him, like a song
You repeated his name with tenderness and love
While I was watching day break
You, magnificent, glorious and ardent
You repeated that word with a fervent and soft voice
Hali
Hali
Hali
Hali
A word a name more precious than gold
You filled my heart with hope like Pandora’s box
And when you both had at last gone
I cried I cried for these two lovers
And your song echoed in my head in my heart
Louder than a beautiful hymn murmured by a choir
Hali
Hali
Hali
Hali
At a famous café I eat waffles – what a meal!
Before leaving I must do some shopping
You amaze me, little town, moreover you surprise me
I have no desire to leave you in haste
And if I return one day, will you accept me?
A poet whose language you do not know?
Where has the old gentleman from the beginning of summer
Gone who said hello and smiled at this foreigner?
You are large, little town and more beautiful than ever
It seems to me that you wanted to banish the night
But one day the night and its darkness will return
And you will fall asleep like the flower I have bought
I want to cry over the six months I have lost
I could have filled your bay with the tears I shed
I could have covered your mountains with a gray hopelessness
And melted your glacier with an unbelievably hateful fever
I say my farewell to the fire and ice of this isle
My heart henceforth filled with a feverish longing