"One wish?" asked Kyle.

The genie folded his arms and said, "That's correct."

"Anything I want?" asked Kyle.

"Yes." The genie was starting to get annoyed. "One wish, to solve any problem you want." The kid had been asking him the same question for about a minute straight.

"One wish..." Kyle repeated. "I have an idea,"

'Finally', the genie thought. "Well, what is it?"

"School lunch is crap. Make them serve us better food."

"Your wish is my command."

It is not like the stories.

It is not fire and brimstone

and burning flesh.

It is not cold, dank depths.

Endless darkness.

Endless terror.

It is not what you thought.

It is a warm room,

your favourite room.

You sit between all the ones you love,

touch their flesh

and they will touch back.

You can talk and laugh,

it is always light,

it is always warm

and you are never, ever tired.

It is not what you thought.

Time doesn’t move slowly,

or quickly,

or at all it seems.

You do not change.

Your lover never leaves.

Your mother always smiles.

But somewhere,

it could be years

or a few minutes

into that warmth,

somewhere you start to wonder.

It could be fast,

like blinking while the light changes.

It could be a like a stone hitting your back.

Or it could be like poison.

Slowly, so slowly you do not remember

when you first notice,

everyone begins to repeat themselves.

Not like playback, not like puppets,

but like a child who has not read past the first chapter

of a book you wrote.

And they are all agreeing with you,

all the time.

You may try to test this-

shout obscenities and curses-

but they will only smile.

It is not what you thought.

There is warmth here,

and you are never tired,

but those around you have no depth

and you cannot leave

or sleep

or hide.

A smile is a smile is a smile,

is now just lips pulled over teeth.

You may try slap it from their faces,

the faces you love,

but they will only laugh.

Finally, you are in a world

where everything is comfort and safety,

and a friend who always laughs,

and a lover who will never leave you,

and a mother who is always smiling

but are they happy?

Can it be love if they have no other option?

No option

no standard

no meaning.

It is not what you thought.

It is not hot iron,

burning flesh.

It is the ache of never knowing,

of endless doubt in those around you,

the ones you love most.

It is your fear,

and your love for them,

and the emptiness of their servitude.

It is not what you thought.

The room will always be warm,

they will always smile,

and you will spend forever wondering;

can it be real

can it be good

if it never ends?

#wetpetals

It has been a hundred years since something interesting happened. Experts and scientists mistakenly predicted that humans would continue to evolve and become more creative with technology by their side. They have, instead, turned into dull creatures. Predictability and monotony are the proper characteristics to describe our modern human being. Their quality of life turned into something disappointing, as they slowly stumbled down from their pedestal of epicness into their current aridity. They abandoned their curiosity and abruptly turned into indifferent beings with purposeless lives.

By November 2018, the last human achievements were carried out, among them the discovery of immortality - the one cause for human’s decline into their insipidity. Humans were blinded by their abusive nature. One peek - one scent - of immortality, and they were inescapably drawn by its dangerous beauty, its wholesomeness, its promise for a life-changing adventure. By the end of 2018, humanity had already yielded to immortality. It was spread like a disease - a curious one, as a fact; an epidemic that didn’t kill, but kept you from dying. Which was worse, in so many ways.

2019 was the first year in which absolutely nothing happened. No more scientific discoveries needed to be made - they were not of immediate urgency anymore. Diseases required no cure, for they were no longer a threat. Funnily enough, when humans abolished death’s unpredictability, they turned the rest of their lives into a predictable set of events.

It is 9:26 pm. I am sitting on my front lawn trying to bat away the bugs that are attracted to the light of my phone that I am using to type this. The sky is a deepening purple and i can not decide if the speck of light I am peering up at is a star or a planet. Oh wait, nope, it's an airplane. It's so strange how human beings got the idea to use hulking metal machines to give them the ability to fly, but what's even crazier is the fact that it works.

The streetlights give off an orange glow that I find annoying but also rather beautiful at the same time. I like how warm the street looks under their cast, and the way it contrasts the cool colors of the sky. It looks like something that Van Gogh might have taken an interest in painting. However, i wish I could sit in complete natural darkness. Even when I close my eyes I can see it's artificial glow from behind my eyelids. I also wish my neighbors didn't play their t.v. so loud, and that there wasn't so much traffic going but, and that I was a famous writer traveling the world without the worries of school and money and jobs. I think that a lot of people wish for this.

It's now 9:45 and the bugs are becoming unbearable, so I will need to say good night, although I doubt anyone will read this far.

I have so many questions, about God, life, sex, purpose & so much more I go round & round my mind trying to figure out things. Lots of things. Which end up confusing & taking me back to step  one.

Like is there a God or a supreme being who has unfathomable power? And if he/she exists can we mere humans see him/her? What do we need to see or talk to him/her or rather what are we or aren't we doing that makes him hide from us ? 

Okay let's say he/she exists. Why do people suffer, why is there unmeasurable pain inflicted on the poor & lowly in  society? What did they do to deserve this? Does he/she not want to interfere with our business? Has he/she given us free will that he doesn't want to interfere? Is he/she that respectful? 

What's religion really ? What does it stand for ? Is it just a set of dos &  don't? Like a set of rules we are supposed to  follow which me & you know is so hard to do because simply put rules are meant to broken. Does heaven & hell exists and why would a loving God what his people to suffer ? Which leads me to ask does Satan & his so called legion of demons exist? Is religion just a clever mans way of making sure we follow a set of rules because us humans are animals no matter how hard we try to ignore that fact ? Is religion an opium for the poor because it seems the most poor people belong to a certain  religion? Why does there exist so many religions but only one God ?   I rest my case on this part.

Life. What is life really ? What are we meant to do? Whats the whole idea about it? Some comedian by the name Louis C.K made me laugh the other day, he said everyone who is alive today is alive because they didn't kill themselves. So it begs the question why is life so precious, why do people even the ones with the shittiests of lives value it so much ? What are we meant to do in life? Is there a map or a compass to lead somewhere, somewhere where we will find out what we are meant to do in this life ? And if there's a map or a compass where do we find it ? Is religion or the belief of a certain intelligent being the compass to finding this purpose?  I'm yet to find out my purpose and if you have found out what your purpose is please hit my inbox you might point me in the right.

That's all for today.