She dreamed

in rainbow colors,

tracing

silver clouds

with gold,

but

tears painted

wax shutters

on the windows

to her soul.

Black and Blue

on Flesh;

a Charcoal

portrait of remains —

Chalk-White

outlining Ash;

she’d finally

cordoned off

her pain.

I ate the flames you fed me. In every form you gave them. I gobbled them down, raw or dressed, and they burnt my insides and set my head on fire. You piled them up high and fanned the rage that was brewing within me. Yet had the poor sense to look startled when I breathed fire upon your existence! Is it not true that I lived with the heat of your actions and my entire being became an inferno? But you tried to douse me with more fire like they had never taught you to not fight fire with fire. You left me for dead in the ashes. And like a phoenix, I rose again. I rise again! Beautiful. Fearless. Fireproof!

the flames of my past,

they ignite at my heart

burning every last bit of hope in me

to ashes.

they spread like a wildfire,

filling my lungs with smoke,

burning every last bit of voice in me

to ashes.

the flames of my past,

they journey to my mind,

burning every last bit of sanity in me

to ashes.

they spread like a wildfire,

embracing me with cold arms,

burning every last bit of me

to ashes.

at least the flames can't burn me anymore.

I can’t feel my scars when the fire covers every inch of me.

“I’m fine.”

I say.

Smolder.

Spark.

Blaze.

Flicker.

Ash.

Repeat.

I have become my flames.

Is that what you wanted?

No.

It doesn’t hurt anymore.

Just a shell.

Burn me again.

But nothing is left.

I don’t feel it.

The wind can take me.

Ashes to ashes, they say.

I’m floating in the wind now,

waiting for another fire.

There’s this game I play

where I book plane tickets

to far away places

during quarantine,

to feel the burn

the impossible game of

self-sabotage

like lighting a match

and watching it’s flames

turn blue

on my finger tips

too hot

to stay lit

I push the travel dates back

every single day

And when the airline

representative

Says I

can’t move it back again

I say

I need to go somewhere

Where I can’t feel the burn

the flames can't burn me anymore...

because I'm wearing sunscreen.

Get wrecked, summer.

# Troll_Post

it’s okay

I hear me say

It’s okay if you wanna burn me

I’ve been standing in the fire for so long

the flames can’t hurt me

anymore

-{renata ferretti}

Im tired and begging for change

For a life, for a gain

For a reason to say your name

But my hands are sinched

From sitting in this same chair

Whispering this same prayer

Half a million times

The flames cant burn here

Ashes cant feed fite

Ive burned my hands

My soul for you

Though youve never done the same

The flames can’t burn me anymore.

I’ve been set alight more times then I can count.

My bones and body crumbled into dust eons ago.

Yet, two remarkable things managed to survive the fire.

Managed to cling onto to whatever is left of my chared body.

An ounce of stubbornness and a cup of ”Curse You!”

The flames can no longer burn me...

But they can ruin you.