Press Release: Greek Sky & Thunder God Seeks Name Change

Early on the morning of June 6th, Barak Zeus, influential and powerful Greek God, petitioned the Nebraska state court for a legal name change. When asked why he had requested the change, Zeus, as explained through his Portuguese lawyer Cole Winterbottom, released this statement, in Portuguese, which was hard to transcribe, which few people in Omaha speak, therefore we are looking for translatic help with what was actually said... Help? ...Anyone?

STATEMENT FROM COLE WINTERBOTTOM, LAWYER FOR BARAK ZEUS (ANASTASIA):

Barak Zues está muito cansado da coisa poderosa de Deus. Ele quer ir mais devagar, pensar na vida e talvez se estabelecer em uma bela casa em Omaha. Ele simplesmente quer ser nomeado ANASTASIA. Por favor, respeite seus desejos. Obrigado.

A guerra não é culpa dele.