The song "Easier" by 5SOS is my go to track when I'm feeling down in the dumps. It reminds me of the time my ex-boyfriend left me because I couldn't give in to what he wanted: Lust. I wanted Love. I wanted us to go back to the way we were, in love, happy and oblivious to what ever was going on around us. I wanted that innocent love that feeling of security and safety but he couldn't give me that. He was so handsome and perfect but he was never mine. I always blamed myself for not being good enough when it was actually him who lost out on me. Hence, the lyrics, "Its so hard to blame you, Cause you're so damn beautiful." They resonate with me the most.

My favorite album was Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar. Years later some of the lines just come floating back to me, such as CAIAPHAS singing,

“Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here.

We've not much time, and quite a problem here.”

I would sing all the parts, even if some were octaves lower than my voice. Well, I guess you’d say that I ‘tried’ to sing those deep parts. Ha! Ha!

Years after I would entertain myself singing these numbers, I was in the Girls’ Chorus. It was called Junior High rather than Middle School back then, and our music teacher was often out due to illness. The other members of the girls' group loved to hear me belt the song “I Don't Know How to Love Him”, so the sub would give me free rein.

"Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love?

Let my feelings out? I don’t know how I’ve ... come ... to this ... what's it all about?”

It was so intimate and vulnerable. I still love it.

A few years ago I was cast in this rock musical at a community theatre but after only the first rehearsal, I chanced to see a promo clip in which the young director said Jesus would make an appearance on stage after he’d been crucified. In other words, he would be standing there ... resurrected.

I didn’t make a fuss, but I dropped out of that performance. I’d been in many shows and had never done so. But this was and is a passion play.

I spoke about it quietly behind the scenes to the interim head of the community theatre and was gratified to learn that he didn’t know if it was even legal to change it in that way. It was so good of him to commiserate with me that way.

(Other choice lines):

What's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening?

What's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening?

Why should you want to know?

Why are you obsessed with fighting

Times and fates you can't defy?