hidden
why am i afraid to let go of my secret?
to release it into the world,
like a lantern
composed of
crepe paper
and
flickering flame
why do i let it sit in the corner
and as it gathers dust
and cracks under
the weight of the
darkness
i pretend that
it doesn't exist
and never will
i know
that it is not terrible
almost like a
faded star
or a
lost penny
yet it
remains
alone
Why?
Twenty-some years ago, took my son of four on a walk. This was our special time, for he had many questions about the world. When we would go on these walks, it was his time to ask why?
Why is the sky so blue papa?
I said it wasn't always blue; there was a time it was clear and you could see how the light was pure from the sun. But to answer your question, the sky is blue because of sin.
What is sin, why did it turn the sky blue?
Once man lived in a perfect world, and he was told not to eat from this one tree in the garden where he lived. His wife gave him the fruit, and he ate it because he loved her more than God. Sin is not doing what our Father in heaven the one who created you and me, everything.
Along pause, so God made the sky blue, because he was sad?
Well, you are half right. God allowed humankind to continue to live life, but not in the garden. With the wind, and the smoke from fires man made, they gathered water on little specks of dust. Then clouds grew, and the sky got darker. On a good day like today, the sky was slowly turning blue.
Why did God make the clouds?
He knew someday that man would sin too much and he would make it rain.
Papa, where does the rain come from?
Well, you like me to tell you a story?
Why, I want to know where the rain comes from.
Okay, the little pieces of dirt and smoke that made its way to the sky gathered water from the air.
How did the dirt get in the sky and the water?
When it became hot during the day the water evaporated, which means little drops of water raised into the sky, and then it found the dirt the wind had blown around in the sky. A wonderful thing happened it formed clouds.
But where did the rain come from?
When the clouds could no longer hold the water, it fell to the ground, called it rain. I believe they are called heaven's tears.
Why do you call them heaven's tears?
Was God crying?
Yes, Son, God was crying and they all the angels because humankind was sinning.
Why did they sin Papa?
They did what they thought was right in their own hearts. They did not obey Father the Creator, and that is called sin.
WOW! People made it rain?
Yes, by not doing what was right.
Papa, I am glad the sky is blue, and the sun is out today. When it rains, I will remember God is crying.
Why?
Slowly, I pick up my foot. Why, oh, why, is there ketchup all over the floor?
I take a deep breath trying to center myself. I shouldn’t have walked out to the mailbox on my own.
Clearly, the toddler has figured out how to open the fridge. This is good, I tell myself. He is learning, I remind myself. How smart he must be, I continue, trying to sway the rising tide of fury.
My efforts are in vain. I holler the child’s name. I hear the scurrying of little feet above my head.
Why, oh, why, did I ever think having children was a good idea?
I tap my foot impatiently waiting.
He makes his way, step by step, painfully slow, down the stairs, prolonging the inevitable judgment.
He rounds the corner, head bowed, eyes downcast.
My breath catches in my throat. I try to hold it in. I can’t.
Laughter burst forth from me in a torrent. His head is a sticky red mess. Whatever was he thinking?
“It’s not funny, mama!” he chastises me.
“I know,” I squeak out between chuckles. I wipe tears from my eyes. “You’re right, love. Let’s go get you cleaned up.”
Why?
Because joy.
That's why.