Dear me,

There are a few things I would like to tell you about us. I know things are hard right now and you are trying to figure out who you are. But don't worry, you will get there any you will be happier than ever. We are finally fully out and living life as our truest selves. There will be some bumps in the road to get here but as long as you keep pushing forward, you will make it.

Now, I know you think it is a waste of time, but you need to take your therapy seriously. Stick it out, I promise it will make a difference. Because you stuck it out, you are now doing something you love and it brings you so much joy and love.

I don't want to give away everything that has happened because the mistakes we make lead us here, to who we are now, and who we will become. It is important to make mistakes in life. Growth comes from mistakes and misfortune.

Just wanted to let you know, you do have a future beyond where you are now, even though it may not seem like it from where you are sitting. We are okay! We are doing well! Keep on pushing through. I promise it is worth it!

Love, me

A young green ham I am.

Not quite a man I’m damned.

A naïve wannabe mainly tan contrarian. And a downright sucker guy or a sexy librarian.

Staring down the future. Hoping we can get beyond the past. What’s a couple of sutures and a god damn walking cast? My broken bits still mend quite quick. But my teenage heart now timidly ticks. To a terrible rhythm beating bitterly tricked.

It was my time to learn the truth. Like blind faith is for foolish youths. All smiles when she kissed me. Then she took off for college blissfully. Said she wrote me notes always ending with how much she missed me. I counted the days. You know the story it’s old history.

I was clueless to her I was nothing more than a goof. Like/unlike those in the line behind me at her kissing booth. Of course I hang on and fought tooth and nail. Had a bloody fight with myself before I bailed. I didn’t leave no breadcrumbs to find the way back down her trail. Then found out it’s a two way street. After two or three times my ship had sailed.

Of course I didn’t take it well. I get ashamed of myself when I reminisce for short spells. It turns out I’m no better. I was no different down to the letter.

Visions flood the images of my mind’s eye

Of a happy, charmed point in time so random

When things were simple and so carefree

And the child that was me laughed with ease and abandon.

The allure of the small, sweet birds flying above

The soothing sound and sight of the ocean’s roil

Bare toes mingling betwixt rough grains of sand

The feel of the warm sun on my shoulders that knew no toil.

The sweet taste of homemade peach ice cream

Or ripe watermelon juice running down my chin

The chitter-chatter of adults filling the silence

Laughter, ease, security – wrapped in youth's veil and ever so thin.

Nights spent gazing at the star-studded skies

Dreaming of lands so far away and distant

Knowing no bounds with how my life would twist and turn

And take me to places dreamed of with little or no resistance.

Life is so simple and sweet when one is young

The hinges of the doorways have not yet spread

Opening to things that seek to drag and pull us elsewhere

And from the places whence we were once so well-placed to tread.

Oh, but if I had known more then and seen what I've come to see now

I would slowed down with measured steps to smell the flowers

To listen, breathe, dance, and reap all that I could possibly sow

So that time would not seem lost within a fraction of mere hours.

Dear Self,

While you're reading this letter, you're going to know that it is true. You've always known. You were convinced when you were young and nothing that happens to you until the age of 37 is going to change your mind. Nothing is going to get better. The realizations that you discover are both depressing and unchangeable. Your third year in college will be the easiest time, but whenever you have the impulse and conviction will work. You know what you have to do.

-Your future self

For Challenge- "Message to Your Past Self" by AnnFan14, due February 18.

Hey Sweetie.

You are going through hell. And no one is with you. You’ve made sure of that. You’ve shut them all out, locked up your emotions and thrown away the key. But the bottle you locked them has gotten too full, and it is about to shatter from the internal pressure. You feel worthless. Unloved. Irrelevant. And you feel so guilty for having these thoughts because there are many who have it worse than you.

You cannot cope. You’ve just about given up. You feel as though you’ve reached your breaking point and, if you’ll pardon the cliché, are about to shatter into a million pieces.

You will.

You will break and it will hurt more than anything you could ever have imagined. It will feel as though your soul is being ripped from your body whilst a thousand venom dipped blades pierce every inch of your heart and conscience. The concept of taking another breath will be so devastating, so agonizing, so torturous that you would rather just put yourself out of your misery. Even inhaling the sweet dew-scented air brought by the early sun will be unfathomable.

So, you will try to run. But they will catch you. And they will ask questions. You’ll only have to admit a few emotions, and doing so will hurt even more than the cruelest things your own mind whispers in your ear.

But you will survive. You will make it out, barely, but you will. Then you will count the days until they will never be able to catch you again.

That time is almost here. You have an out- an escape. It’s not years anymore, it’s a few months. Almost days. It will come. You will by no means be okay or healed, but you will be free and that will be enough to give you hope.

Just hold on a little bit longer. You’re almost there. How do I know?

Because I’m who you will become. I escaped. No, I’m not okay. But someday I will be.

Someday we will be.