Barstool Couples Counseling
She didn’t want to believe it, but it really was just an unfortunate coincidence that we both wound up here. It shouldn’t have surprised her, though. I wasn’t surprised. Where the hell else is there to go on a Saturday night in Monroe County?
I was there early, not just arriving before her, but before most anyone. It wasn’t right of her to say that I had crashed this party out of spite, even if she wanted to think so. Was it my fault she hadn’t even noticed me sitting there past those stars in her eyes? I was right there at the bar the whole time, had she bothered to pay attention. I was minding my own business (mostly), drinking away a memory that followed me around everywhere, anymore. One minute that memory was down where it belonged, drowning in the dregs of a bottle, and then the next minute that exact same memory was reflected in the mirror behind the bar, wiggling on the dance floor and looking hot as hell. No one was any more surprised to see her reflection there than I was. No one was as unhappy to see it either, at least to see it out there dancing with him. But like I said before, it was just an unfortunate coincidence.
It was my fault we weren’t married. I knew that. I couldn’t blame anyone else, not even him, bad as I’d like to. I never did ask her to marry me. A real man would have asked her, but it hadn’t seemed necessary. Some day sure, but there didn’t seem to be a rush. We were in love, or so I thought. She even said it. We were together, everything copacetic. She never even pushed for marriage, or I would have done it. After all, were married in deeds if not on paper. But then “he” showed up, a new boss at work from up north somewhere; mature, flashy, college educated, monied. Not having that ring gave her all the excuse she needed, although truth be told it might not have mattered anyways.
But how does someone like me counter all of that? Comparing him and me in the mirror, I seemed to come up short even by my own calculations. He wore pretty, slicked-back hair, me a beat-up ball cap. He had on a suit coat and slacks, I was in my jeans and that work shirt with my name embroidered on the pocket. His pocket held the key-fob to a Lexus, mine had a smooth-worn Chevy key. Any way I looked at it I came in a pretty poor second.
Something had died in me that day Raini drove away, something I thought was love.
But it did not feel like love was dead when I saw her reflected though the mirror behind the bar. Love felt very much alive in that moment, but what does a man do? Does he crawl? Does he take the high-road? Does he make a scene, and whip ass? Or does he slip out the back door to forever wonder if one of those other tactics might have turned the tale around? They were too many options to choose from for a high school drop-out a half a dozen beers in.
For sure though, “Dude” was a horrible dancer, but she was good enough to prop them both up. Imagine, not knowing how to two-step? As good as Raini looked to me (and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her), she looked exactly what she was beside him, a country girl grasping at straws. Her hands were all over him as she be-bopped around his “trying-not-to-look-stupid-on-the-dance-floor” ass. What a dick. Her legs looked great in that short skirt and those tall boots that all the girls were wearing, while her curls hung like fire against a lacy white top. A short time ago I would have cut-in… and she would have welcomed it. Everyone always said we looked great dancing together. But now? Even if I tried to cut-in it could hardly go over well.
I should have left, but to get out would have meant walking right past them, so I sat like a fool, sucking back long necks and thinking (something I never was the best at, even when sober). A slow song came on, and she pressed herself up against him. When his hand settled on her hip it was all I could do not to come off my stool. There was a boiling up inside me then that wasn’t at all healthy. I tried to look away, to peel the label on my bottle, to read my phone, to look at anything else, but my eyes kept finding the mirror and that hand on her hip. I knew that if that hand moved one inch further I would be spending the rest of the night with my hands cuffed behind me while trying to explain what the hell had just happened.
But it didn’t move, and I didn’t either.
Boo came in just then. I’d known Boo most of my life. As someone who grows up rough will, Boo had her antennaes primed at all times for ticklish situations. Those antennae were a necessary trailer park survival skill. Boo saw right away what was happening and came on over to test my temperature, and to talk me down off the ledge if it became necessary. Her voice sounded loud, even in the loud room, “How y’all doing over here, Dale? You mind if I sit?”
“Nah, Boo. I don’t mind.”
”I see you got your eye glued to that mirror, see something interestin’ in there?”
“You know what I’m lookin’ at.”
”She looks good, don’t she? Almost happy.”
”Almost.”
”Whach’a gonna do?”
”Ain’t decided yet.” Boo downed my beer in a swig, ever-ready for a freebie, so I motioned to the bartender for two more.
”You gonna kill him?”
”Don’t know. Ain’t decided.” They were smashed into the same side of a booth now, her on the outside but scrooched over against him.
”Hmmm.” Boo got quiet then, which was not her nature. She turned on her stool so that she faced the dance floor and them, her bottle’s long neck kept close to her mouth. Habit, I guessed. “You know, he don’t look like all that to me.”
”Turn around Boo,” I asked. “I’d rather they didn’t know I was here.”
She spun around on her stool like a kid in an ice cream shop. “Dale Colby! Do you for one minute think she don’t know you’re sitting here?”
“I’m sure that she doesn’t know, but she will if you holler out my name again!”
”Well, you Colby’s always was a tad slow.” Her eyes grew excited. “You want me to show you something?”
“Sure, I guess.”
Boo grabbed hold of my knee then, spinning me around until I faced her. She hopped off of her stool, wedged herself between my legs, grabbed me with both hands by the shirt collars and laid one on me; a hard, almost violent kiss that smashed so hard against my lips
that it hurt in some wild, unexpected, exciting kind of painful way.
What came next was even more unexpected, at least for me it was. Boo was snatched from my legs, and hurled onto the dance floor. They were rolling down there together then in a snatch of hair, and teeth, and tops. It was shocking in it’s fury and violence and sexuality. Raini was angry and determined, but she was no match for Boo, who’d spent her life fending off the attacks of grown men, and so had little trouble with Raini’s like. She soon had Raini pinned on her back on the parquet dance floor. Raini’s tiny skirt was hiked up around her waist, revealing very little in the way of panties, while one of Boo’s boobs hung pertly from under her bra-less top. Boo was bleeding from a lip, but was smiling tauntingly down at the helpless Raini. Raini spat up at her, landing it on Boo’s cheek, but Boo only reached for it with her tongue as if to lap it off.
I caught hold of Boo then, but she refused to let go, so I lifted them both back to their booted feet while prying them stiffly apart. Her hands free, Raini pulled her skirt back down where it belonged, but Boo seemed unconcerned with her exhibitionism. I yanked them both by the upper arms from the dance floor. The crowd parted in front of us as I pulled them towards the door.
Once outside Boo fixed her top. Raini walked stiffly to my truck, letting herself in on the passenger side.
”Did you really think she didn’t know you were in there? Damn Dale, you’re an idiot!”
I shrugged helplessly and started for my truck. “Thanks Boo, I owe you one.”
“Forget about it, Babe! And thanks for the beer.”
Boo always did have a knack for making a guy feel inadequate.
Aces, flowers, hearts, & spades.
DISCLAIMER— Mature content. The characters, including the settings of any events, or folks/places are all fictitious. Every section of this material is to be only ready by an older audience. Thank you.
Now let’s get on with thee show/tale! Feel free to grab a drink, a snack, or two.
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Jessica looked around the room. The waiter still had not come to take their orders. She rapidly blinked her eyes, the moment she realized who she had spotted across from her table. Rising from her seat, she stormed over to the other side.
‘What in the Milky Way galaxy do you think you’re doing here?’
Jessica frowned. She thought she had covered her tracks quite well. Well, she’d better figure out a way to find a ship that had a better cloaking system, & could cancel out anyone’s machinations of trying to find out where she was headed to next.
Archy raised his eyebrow, and changed his facial expression to one that seemed clueless. Jessica flicked the feather in his hat. He knew she didn’t like seeing animals, or parts of them being used as a form of fashion. Every animal species across the galaxy needed to be protected from his kind.
Her train of thought was interrupted by a whistle. Jessica turned around, and there was a random stranger grinning at her. He gave her a wink. Archy rolled his eyes.
He approached her, and pulled her hand to his forehead.
‘Would it be alright if I asked you to dance before we sit down to dine?’
Archy placed his hand on his stomach. Then proceeded to cough in a way that irked Jessica. But she did her best not to pay attention to his shenanigans.
She walked away by her suitor’s side. As soon as they were on the dance floor, he placed one hand around Jessica’s waist— pulled her close to his body- & twirled her around.
Jessica felt her head spinning, but it was a good feeling. His eyes started to shimmer as the lights were dimmed. Her heart skipped a beat. She hoped she was not caught under his spell with those dazzling eyes.
Someone bumped into them, and her dance partner almost stumbled to the dance floor. Jessica turned to face the person who had interrupted their dance, the only thing she spotted beside her was a feather. ‘Archy!’ She yelled at the back of her mind.
She could still sense his presence in the vicinity.
Her dancing partner rushed back closer to her side, and whispered in be ear. ‘Come~ let me show you something.’
He took her hand. As he guided her away from the crowded dance floor, Jessica scanned the room to see if Archy was still keeping track of her new movements.
Her guide turned back to face her. He told her not to worry about Archy.
Jessica smiled, and felt a sudden burst of glee. She was brought to a different level of the renovexis. This section of the mega leveled building had a garden.
She felt a wave of energy coursing through her body. Her dance partner smiled. He placed one hand across Jessica’s cheek, & gently brushed her lips.
At first she didn’t move. It was like the universe had stopped at that moment. Time was at a standstill.
She heard his voice reach out to her like he was not standing right in front of her. Jessica was still processing how his lips had felt familiar.
He reached to grab her hand, getting ready for more. She whispered, ‘Wait.’
Jessica bent down, and started loosening his belt with her dominant hand. He panicked and slapped it. ‘Ouchie, that hurt!’ She exclaimed.
‘I…uhh..we don’t have to rush, my dear.’
Jessica chuckled. ‘There’s no need to pretend..Arch.oh…’
He snapped his fingers and laughed. ‘Dang. I thought I had you fooled. When did you realize it was me, and not the other guy?’
Jessica shook her head. ‘You’re the only guy I know who always goes full on to am extreme with a kiss. You also ended up biting me, but this time it was like a tiny pinch.’
Archy smiled. ‘Well, I guess I’ll try and find the other guy. Hope he’s not mad that I kept him away from you.’
Jessica chortled, and wiped the tears from her eyes. ‘Oh, Archy. Where did you place this body this time?’
Archy winked. ‘It’s in the trunk. Where else would I hide the body?’
Jessica’s eyes widened in fright. ‘What!?’
‘Take a deep break. I’m kidding.’
‘You better be. I just cleaned that entire part of my ride. If I get pulled to the side by the traffic bots for carrying a shimmer, I’ll tell them you’re the one responsible for his untimely demise!’
‘My dear- they wouldn’t be able to catch me, not even at their top warp speed in an electric space cruiser.’
Jessica watched him take a bow. Archy rose and winked at her. ‘Let’s go try some of the food that was ordered~ by- me— eh, the other guy. He’s not so bad after all.’
Jessica smiled. ‘I hope you’re taking notes. If you’re not careful he’s going to be the one to get the girl.’
Archy hit his chest. ‘He’s going to have to beat me in a wrestling match first. Then we can find out more about what kind of talents he has.’
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#Aces #flowers #hearts #spades (c)
5th Sept.ember, 2022
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXtmbZlwkDs
Mini Sonnet
While playing skee ball
at the local dive,
he gave it his all,
feeling so alive!
"I'll win," he boasted
as we clinked glasses.
Each time we toasted,
he touched, made passes.
"Best two out of three!*
He mumbled and slurred,
staying close to me.
the game was absurd.
Losing, he escaped
avoiding his fate.
Ethan and Abby (comment if you want more)
It was Friday night and we were loading all of our things into my car. My car isn't the best it is an old blue dodge with a rusty bottom. We were on our way to the woods to go camping. There are eight of us Sarah, Mason, Abby, Xander, Chris, Megan, Veronica, and myself. I planned the trip to ask Abby to go to homecoming with me. All my friends were part of the plan. I decided I would ask her by singing her a song I wrote. I started putting everyone's bags into my car. I also packed the axe, tent, and flare gun. My mom insists I take the flare gun just in case we get lost. I finish packing my car and shout, "Wheels out in ten ." Abby and I are in the car first and we start chatting about our movie theories. We chat for about eight minutes before the group slowly fills in Megan was the next one in. By the time everyone was ready to go it was 6 o'clock in the afternoon.We were running a little behind. I wanted to get there by 6:30 but we won't get there until seven. We arrived shortly after seven and started to unpack. Me and Abby started to set up the four tents. While everyone else worked on getting a fire set up. Everyone has split up in three of the four tents. I brought an extra tent so I could be by myself. Even though it is very late by 8 we had the fire up and started roasting brats. Once everyone's done eating I pull out my guitar. Abby's eyes lit up because she loves to hear me sing. I started out with one of her favorite songs I wrote called Lost and Found. It was a love song I wrote. After I finished up with that song she was gleaming with happiness. So I decided to sing the song. I said ok guys this is a new song I wrote called Come With Me Abby. She looked very confused but I just decided to sing the song. In the song I asked her to homecoming. She ran away crying. I looked at Megan and she looked confused and shrugged her shoulders. I put down my guitar and ran after her. I caught up with her. She was sitting at the edge of a river crying. I asked, "Hey Abbs whats wrong." She said,"No ones ever been that nice to me.' I looked into her soft brown eyes and said, "Well Abbs no one could ever love you like I do." She smiles and her eyes glisten in the moonlight. We both lean in and kiss each other passionately. She pulls away first and I ask,"What is wrong Abbs."She said," Nothing I've Just knew you liked me.""I've been waiting for you to tell me because I feel the same way." I looked at her frowning and said,"Sorry it took me so long Let me make it up to you." I caress her cheek with my palm and lean in and kiss her. She kisses back hard. I pull away first this time and say," Abby will you go out with me?" She blushes hard and said," Of course I will go out with you Ethan." I say,"Okay lets go back to the others so they don't think we're dead. While walk back to the group we are holding hands and chatting. We walked out of the woods and the group was smiling at us. The End........... Or is it