Trigger warning: Though this story is fictional, it contains blood and self-harm.

Alex flipped through the music on his car radio. He finally sighed and switched it off as he pulled into Chrissy's driveway. His car's headlights hit the garage and blinded him. Her house was darkened, but there was a small flicker of light deep inside a window.

He turned off the engine, and ran a hand through his rich chocolate colored hair. He had to speak with her, but how? Alex opened the door and tried to calm his racing heart. He strode to her door and raised a fist to knock, hesitating.

Alex knocked, his heart pounded faster. Alex had decided to come to visit Chrissy. Yes, he had broken things off with her, but he still loved her. He licked his lips and knocked again. Oh, how would he explain that he still loved her, without breaking her again?

He knocked a third time, but there was no answer. Worried, he found her spare key and opened the door. The lights were off, but the bathroom door was shut and a glow emanated from under the door. "Chrissy?" He called out, knocking softly on the door. Nobody stirred inside, "Chrissy?" Alex knocked more violently.

He carefully opened the door, and called out again, "I'm coming in, Chrissy." He opened the door and a gasp escaped his lips.

Chrissy was lying on the floor, her face pale and a towel wrapped around her arm. Blood seeped through the towel and created a puddle on the floor next to her small body. "Chrissy!" Alex rushed to her side, panic filled his body.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gurgled a soft whisper. "A-Alex... I-I ju-just meant to.." She swallowed and gasped for a breath of air.

"Shhh.." Alex stroked her pale face gently and pushed her bangs off her forehead. "Don't talk." Tears dropped from his eyes to her shirt. "Just hold on, please."

Chrissy let out a weary smile and closed her eyes. "You still love me, don't you?"

He pulled her into his arms and hiccuped a sob. "Of course I love you Chrissy!" His brown eyes spilled more tears. "Just, just hold on." He grabbed is phone and dialed 911. "The ambulance is coming."

Chrissy fluttered her eyes and looked up at him, "I-I'm sorry." Her green eyes were glassy and struggled to focus on him. "I-"

"Shhh," Alex pulled her closer, her blood smeared onto his shirt. "Don't speak," He grabbed another towel and wrapped it tightly on her wound, trying to stop the blood from flowing. "Just hold on." He caressed her cheek as her eyes closed and her breathing grew more rapid. "I-I should tell you,"Alex started, "I still love you, and I always will. Just hold on, they're coming."

His eyes brimmed with fresh tears as her chest rose and fell with each rapid breath. "Don't give up, Chrissy. I'm sorry I broke your heart. You trusted me, and I hurt you. I didn't know how badly you were hurting, but now I see." His tears dripped down to the floor, mixing with the sticky red blood. "I still love you, but my feelings were frustrating me. I was hurting as I loved you. So, I broke things off." Sirens sounded in the distance.

"Chrissy, I love you and always will. But I understand if you don't want to ever trust me with your heart again. Just know, I love you still, and always will." He gently kissed her forehead, "Please, just hold on, even if you don't want me."

Lights flashed in the driveway and paramedics rushed in to the scene. Alex sat holding Chrissy, his eyes red with tears. "They're here, just hold on. And please forgive me," He stood and moved out of the way as the paramedics entered the bathroom with a stretcher. "I love you and I'm sorry, Chrissy."

Hold On

Please

I'm not ready

not ready to see you leave

and will you watch me cry at your grave

take the blade out of your hand

through the pills in the trash

Hold On

you were supposed to get me out

out of this house

that isn't a home

out of this life

which drags on

Hold on

were almost there

hold on

let me grab some pills

to join you

hold on

let me grab my own blades

as i slowly slip away

hold on

i'm here

with you now

we are both

dead and gone

but not forgotten

hold on

I knew something was wrong when you left for work this morning. When you were silent an didn't even bother to eat breakfast.

But I ignored the awful feeling in my chest all day, until your little sobs from the bathroom became silence.

Then it was a rush to the car.

Then it was a rush to get you help.

Then they rushed to take you away.

Now you are better, your not healed, you never will be. But you are better, and getting better everyday.

We got another chance at life, and this time I made sure you would know that wouldn't leave you. Not then, not now, not ever.

Mental Illness is real, and I can't expect you to live your life without talking about yours.

Come back, we can talk.

"Go! Go! Go! You have to go now!" I hear over the earpiece hidden cleverly in my diamond ear cuff.

Without thinking I slam my foot on the pedal, and my head propels to the headrest as the car lunges forward.

77. 78. 79. Come on...

I turn my head to see the red Cadillac still following me hot on my tail.

"I'm not going to make it," I yell so the earpiece can hear me over the loud sports car engine, "I won't have enough time, it's already starting to close and I can't get over 80 miles per hour no matter how much I push!"

Beep. Beep bee-beep.

"It's green, you need to go," Charlie, my driving instructor patiently clarifies.

Getting my eyes back in focus I slowly ease my foot onto the pedal to accelerate out of the four-way stoplight. Gripping the wheel, I elegantly turn right onto the main road, as if I've done it a million times before.

"Just drive to the school and then we'll be done for the day," Charlie says, a bit exhausted, but for what reason? All he does is sit in a car all day with teens driving around.

I see my mom waving enthusiastically as I pull into the high school parking lot. I groan inside, knowing she is likely to embarrass me in front of my fourth new driving instructor. I shoot a quick glance of signaling for her to stop now, and to my surprise, she does. Having drivers-ed be my last class of the day is pretty nice because sometimes, I get to drive myself home, but then there are other days like today when my mom picks me up from school, and I get to endure the long, awkward, silence of the car ride home. I throw my backpack into the front seat of the car, plop myself into the passenger seat and close the door.

"So, how was school," my mom asks, trying to strike up a conversation that just won't happen.

"Fine, I guess," I mumble.

"Good good," she says softly in that awkward 'I don't know what to do now' tone.

When we finally arrive home, I race upstairs to my room and shut the door. I flop belly down on my bed and pull my phone out from my back pocket. I open messages to see a new message from Derek:

I know you don't want this, and I don't either. But my parents have decided to move to Arizona. :(

Please say something

Are you there?

We go to different schools so we both get out at different times. In a flurry of mixed emotions, I shoot back:

Moving?! Wdym moving? I thought your parents were going to wait until the end of junior year?!!

You can't leave me, I need you

I turn off my phone and shove my face into a plush pillow on my bed and scream. I hear footsteps racing up the stairs and then my door swinging open within seconds of each other.

"I heard someone scream, is everything okay?!" My mom exclaims, worried.

"Everything's fine mom, go away."

"Okay..." she says hesitantly while closing the door and walking back downstairs.

Ding.

I'd know that ding if it were mixed in with a thousand other dings and dongs. It was Derek again:

I know I know. I tried to convince them to change their minds, but they wouldn't. I'm so sorry babe. But we both knew this would happen eventually :(

I'm really sorry! Maybe I could pick you up and we can talk about it??

Derek and I have been dating for 7 months now. It all started beginning of July. He had just moved in a few streets away from my house. I saw him babysitting one of my friends' little siblings at the park, so I walked over and said hi and asked who he was, obviously. He is 3 month older than me and has the coolest matte black Jeep.

Sure. I text back, when?

He instantly replies with: Around sunset?

I tell my mom I'm going on a drive with Derek around sunset and start getting ready.

At 5:23 Derek picks me up and we go for a drive to a small hill that has the most beautiful sunset view. He puts the car into park at the top and reaches into the back seat for a blanket.

Wasting no time I say, more coldly than I should've been, "Why are you moving?"

With a sigh, he responds, "My dad's work wants him back in Arizona."

I think he can see me getting teary-eyed because he wraps the blanket around me and moves the hair off my cheek with his soft warm fingers, making it irresistible to look up at him and smile.

"But you just moved here last summer," I say, choking mid-sentence trying not to cry. Because when I cry, like really cry, I don't pretty cry, and I was about to really cry.

"Hey," he says while embracing my trembling body, "we can still communicate, it's not like I'm going off the grid."

At his last statement, I had no choice but to giggle a little and grin, sniffling a bit while doing so. I lay my head on his shoulder and listen to the radio. The station really couldn't have chosen a better time to play the one song I didn't want to hear right now, Hold On by Chord Overstreet.

'Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me'

And with that one line, my brain goes through a flashback of all the memories of me and Derek together over the past 7 months. I'm flooded with a wave of emotions that I just can't hold back as I turn my head and bury myself in Derek's shoulder not allowing myself to let him go.

'I don't wanna let go, I know I'm not that strong'

I grit my teeth to try and mute out the lyrics to the song, but it won't work.

'Saying, "Baby, let's go home". Let's go home. Yeah, I just wanna take you home'

Finally, I'm able to push out the last lines of the song before I become an uncontrollable emotional wreck. After a few minutes of forcing myself to be calm, I manage to speak some words, while still buried in Derek's shoulder.

"Don't leave me," I cry before muttering softly, "please, don't leave me."

THE END