my fingernails kiss my skin

digging into every crevice

like a toddler playing at the beach

the strongest urge to scrape away

my spine floods all of my senses

like an obnoxious scab

begging to be peeled off

my hands grip onto knives and hammers any sort of weapon I can get my hands on

smashing and carving and scratching away

past memories that have been

branded across my lips

the underside of my pride is drifting somewhere past the waves towards starlight and I'm breathing in the gusts of wind the backbreaking bend of green wooden ships and rolling pins making blackberry pie out of midnight sweetened by kisses stolen between strawberries smooth like honey and cinnamon

People and time are so strange god man and i spent so much time dealing with your wining and your untrustworthy words. What are we in the world. Oh you're oh so fucking stupid you blew it. You fucking said my name again and my heart skipped a beat bc i remembered what we said laying in bed and stars aligns and baby the suns in your eyes. Stop. with me my love. to the sea.

I was once a lonely girl that didn't know much about the world and actually I am still that same girl

But I have a feeling that one day I will get to travel and actually understand what it means to marvel at a sunrise so beautiful but still not care about because of the person sitting next to me

One day I will grow up and be so sure of myself and know that where I am now doesn't mean a thing

As for now here I am the same lonely little girl waiting and wishing with the world sitting in her hands

i watched as my hands slowly turned blue... the cold was agianozing and painful. sometimes, when it we this bad, I covered up the holes in my house with the few spare blankets I had, but then I had to sleepin the floors my teeth chattered, and it sounded like I just might freeze to death, but I reminded myself that I never did, and that even when it was colder than this, u did not freeze to death. I waited as the sun slowly rose above the horizon, and it's warmth bathed down on me, a blanket:? I sighed in relief and snuggled down on the hard floor as the sun warmed me. the wind had stopped; the utterly freezing wind that could have killed me. the sync my savior filtered through the one window in my one, griny window "well!" u said, and thre up my hands, "now that that is over, I can take off these blankets, and actually get some sleep." yes'm, that was my winter: sleeping during that day, and staying awake during the cold nights. I was starving, and I knew that I would have to get foods, but for now I was too tired to think of that's. when u worked it saw dark and cold again, so I had to put the blankets through the homeschool and endure the long night again. the next mirnung I woke up and decided that I had to get food for my tummy was fresking. the streets were a dangerous place, that I knew; but I had not been killed yet or kidnapped at anything. when I got into the streets, they bustled with people, hooded peopled colorful peopled all kinds of people. some peoples though glared at my from under their eyes, annoyed at my presences or just deciding about how they should kill mes inspired away and walked up to a meat stands the man at the stand was big and Butkus and he looked down at me liked he loathed me., "what da you want?" he growlers. "just some meatcl I replied. "deer, olease," I replied. "well, what kind of meat?@ the men askers "deer!0 i asks again. "5)-5/ what u said that fies time!" the man handed me a slab of meat, and held out his hand. lay,? he said. I have him some coins, and he

(had to stop there.)

"remember the bees!" you scream as your eyes follow the breeze going wherever the wind takes them and i don't know whybut the skies look a lot like the butterflies in my stomach and you look so hopeful as you move your hands through the air mimicking a dying species that must live on the legend must live on you tell me again and again and i don't care that much but i'm lovedrunk on sin and blue skies "remember the bees!" we sit under trees and our fingers intertwine i can't believe i'm yours and you're mine you say anything's possible and i start to think it's true there's no other explanation for how i could've gotten you i start to believe in the bees that fly by and for once i join in when you shout your cry and as we lay together underneath the trees we close our eyes and remember the bees

I don't have to go to bed at like ten half the people of the best of luck in your eyes and out of the day I don't think that the company has been in a row and of the best year ever for me and I my mom just told called me and my you can get a the same thing as too the best thing about to go to home and I sleep on me to go be the first time since I've been in a row statement while I have a great way to go to bed sleep and in with a new lot row in a row in of a the first half of this is the best of all the way you can get a job and a half years of a new song and the other hand it is a very long day of school tomorrow.

Craziness right?!

The smell of rose water and coconut linger still in your hair and I long to run my hands through to press my lips upon the nape of your neck and breathe in your scent for eternity to look into the bottom of the ocean all while staring right into your eyes move your palms against my body as if you need this to stay alive pull me in your arms and whisper the truths of the universe into my ear while stopping in between words to kiss my cheek and catch my tears with the curve of your bottom lip rake your hands through my disheveled hair and pull me in closer, closer than possible maybe it’s cliché but I just want to be one with you don’t take a single second for granted please I need you here I need to know you’ll stay here with me even if I push you away maybe some day I’ll push you against a wall and kiss you on the mouth and temple and neck instead of pushing you out the door I need your love and your voice so don’t abandon all hope while I’m standing right in front of you so make your choice but before you do would it be against the rules to tell you i love you I’m not saying this in an attempt to guilt your love I just don’t want you to slip through my hands as the ocean did when I tried to make it stay on my skin for the rest of my life if I told it I loved it too do you think it would’ve made a difference do you think it could have grown to love me too but i don’t want this to work if all our embraces are hesitant or if you think of the one you truly love while kissing me each morning do what you want my love just know I do love you so do what you think best and follow your heart but tell me gently for I fear by this time tomorrow I will have fallen apart