Joy

"Mothers, mothers, mothers! Cover you heads! Cover your shoulders! You are the recreation of the blessed virgin!" There was spittle gathered in the corner of her mouth, exploding into the air and catching the light as her passion escalated.

"Fathers!" She continued, "You are the men! The leaders. Your wives and children must follow you! Show them the way!" Then her tone got low, her voice a growling whisper, "They will fight you. They'll fight because they don't understand. There will be disharmony, but only for a time...until they yield. Until the accept The Truth."

Gretchen felt nauseous. The room was full of humidity; rain splattered and splashed against the bay window overlooking 79th Street. This glorious mansion, once the home of a textiles magnate, was now the fortress of Joy's new "school."

It wasn't just the stifling room. It was the revelation. Gretchen was a modern woman. It was 1990, for god's sake. Women and children must follow the man? Yield? Disharmony? Oh, there's going to be disharmony, all right.

When she and Dan met, he'd told her about the "school" he attended, on the posh upper east side of Manhattan. He'd made it sound like a place of philosophical growth. New and exciting. Nothing else like it. Gretchen had abandoned her own church back in college. Now, she considered herself to be "spiritual, but not religious." New Age philosophies were taking the world by storm; a pushback perhaps to the conventional dogma that seemed out-of-touch and divisive. Dan insisted the "school" was not a religion.

All of his friends from "school" were lovely; kind and funny. She never felt any sexism from any of them. And the women were so welcoming...and smart! How could they be involved in such an organization? Did they really buy into all this? What's in it for them?

Sitting here, she remembers Dan asking her to change when they were meeting up with his "school" friends, "Do you have a longer skirt? It's getting cold out." Or, "Put a scarf or something on over your shoulders. The sun is intense today. We wouldn't want you to get burned." She didn't know it then, but it was plain he'd been manipulating her. There was much more that was coming into focus now...the conversations about reincarnation, the mention of silent retreats, the "work parties" that had underlings toiling while the "more evolved" student provided the "still point" (a/k/a stood around doing nothing). And the money. All those contributions. None of the married women worked, which they claimed was their choice, but now Gretchen wondered. And now the invocation of "the blessed virgin?"

She wondered about many other things, too: Why hadn't she noticed that all of Dan's friends were from here (nobody from "outside"). Why did everyone cut themselves off from students who's left the "school." Why were those people said to have turned their backs on the truth rather than been allowed to have a change of heart? Why had she been a part of this for over a year now, and only just realized what she'd gotten herself into? Was she really so blind or was Joy just that skillful at what she did?

Joy Bonepart was sent from the "school" in Boston to build a New York branch and recruit young, wealthy "students." She was treated like a queen. Members prepared her food, shopped for her, picked out her clothes, invited her on vacations, she lived in this glorious mansion... Yes, she was their goddess and, even though she knew very early on that the philosophy of the "school" was a lot of horse shit, her hunger for power and money was far stronger than her integrity. And so she stood her, in front of her acolytes, the chosen few who were ready for the next phase, twisting the vise a little tighter.

She was focusing on Gretchen. Gretchen had been a hard sell and it was necessary to pull her in closer if she was to marry Dan. Dan would be the next leader when Joy moved on to Chicago. It was imperative that Gretchen be fully on board. So far, it was working. Her resistance was always met with respect. They'd have philosophical debates that would end with Gretchen believing her point of view was considered and often regarded as correct. But Joy was only humoring her while leading her down a garden path paved with glue.

Looking directly at Gretchen, Joy gently said, "It all sounds wrong. I know. Because the concept is so foreign. The feminists have led you to believe that, not only can you have it all, but you deserve it all. It's a lie. A trap. You are setting yourself up for a life of disappointment and frustration. How can anyone 'have it all?' Admit it to yourself, that a simpler life is easier to attain. And more satisfying! Letting go of those worldly desires is what will truly empower you, will truly set you free. THAT will put you in charge of your own life...our own destiny!"

This actually rang true to Gretchen. Wouldn't it be an easier life to let Dan take care of her? Make the decisions? After all, he'd never choose to do anything that would hurt her. Hurt them. He loves her. It seemed safe to let him lead. And just as her internal conflict was about to resolve itself, she remembered the lies: It's not a religion. The women wear long skirts because they're copying Joy's style. Men don't want their wives to work because they want to pamper them.

If Dan truly loved her, why couldn't he just be straight: It is a religion. Women wear long skirts because it's required of them...by the men. The men don't want their wives to have any interests outside the home.

Joy suggested they take a short recess for the refreshments being served in the parlor. Gretchen was parched, she told Dan, but first needed to visit the ladies room...which was located right near the back door...through which Gretchen exited into the pouring rain. It made her feel clean again.