I always love the holiday season. It's all as if the world took a break from being a harsh battlefield, and suddenly turned to a big Dome staging acts about sharing and love. It seems that what have been a dark forest of nightmares turned to a theme park where we can feel the sweet honesty of the wind. And it means a lot. Why? We're humans. And in the never-ending arena of life, we are all actors—whether we are rich or poor, black or white, straight or not—we are all in the same lane and we are looking at the same sky. And as actors, we need some breaks where we can breathe freely out of what have been murdering our hearts, our minds and our souls...to take a glimpse or to value what we have in our life, in a positive side. The Holidays is the perfect season for this one, thanks to the tradition and teachings which helped shape what Christmas and New Year should mean to our worlds, and that makes it the right time to look back at the things we have today and track back our less righteous actions, to weigh them thoroughly then swear to not repeat them, or at least prevent them to happen. The Season is also the perfect season for sharing love, as what an adage says, "The heart melts in the warmest song", because we have known (in the books and in the actual experiences) that Christmas is over-pouring with love and New Year is over-pouring with positivism. So are there presents, family gatherings, dates, out-of-town trips and more. And besides, there's even more with the Holiday season, and it's a movie we, the actors, should explore out of the script.

Oh, I've got to go, Friend. We are now entering the Cinema.

Anna isn’t the only one, who wants to build a snowman. When I was a child and I saw the first snow, I felt an indescribable, warm feeling.

Our family is full of snowmen builder, so my little brother, my dad and me always built them the whole season.

Well at first our snowmen weren’t the most beautiful ones you’ve ever seen, but we improved. Soon our snowmen became even more than men. They became cool dinosaurs, which were tamed by my brother and me. They became our Fort Knox to win the snowball fights against the evil neighbors or just our grandpa. Even the dwarf from our favorite fairy tale.

Of course sleigh races are a tradition we didn’t miss. Mom always feared jumping above the ramps we built to act like the ski jumpers on TV, even if we are just riding on a sleigh.

When we appeared to be old enough, we started driving to Austria to learn skiing. Becoming faster than your parents was the goal you always tried to achieve, but never did until you became a teenager.

Being a teenager means hard times for your parents. But holidays didn’t seem to be touched by the teenager curse. Well Après Ski and Christmas Morning drinks, which are a widely spread German tradition, didn’t exist before, but since I’m a kind guy when I’m drunk, my parents didn’t mind. And family ski rides in holiday still existed, as building snowmen.

Soon I started to remind of the good old times; I started to challenge my brother in sleigh races again, no matter how everyone stared at us, riding down the hills between six year olds.

When I started studying I didn’t see my family until Christmas. Christmas is the time, where everything stays the same beautiful way, it always did. It’s the time where all parts of the family come together and enjoy everything they have, even if it’s not a lot.

Maybe I could show the same beautiful things to my children in some years. I bet that is going to be more exciting than using your smartphone all day.

Aren’t Christmas holidays the most exciting thing in life?

The holiday season is here.

That magical time of the year when everything seems happy, ideal, peaceful.

As a child, this time of the year holds a special significance. When we are little, the holiday season seems magical, mystical, happy. You write your lists, you wait excitedly for the appearance of the irreverent Santa Claus, and watch with joy as sugar plum fairies, reindeer and magical elves fill our television screens, shopping malls and stockings.

When you're a child, Christmas is often the happiest time of the year. Everyone seems joyful, hopeful. Everyone is talking and singing about peace and love. Maybe, for just a little while, mommy and daddy stop fighting about bills and the "credit cards". You walk past the Christmas tree, day after day, anxiously eyeing your presents and wondering just what might be wrapped up under its sparkling majesty.

But along the line, something changes.

Suddenly the wind-up to Christmas day consists of you checking your bank account frantically, wondering if you'll have enough money to get your boyfriend that one "special" thing. You know the one, that one present that will show just how much you care. That one little thing that will show them, finally, just how much they mean.

Somewhere, in the long and winding road between childhood and adulthood, you stop worrying less about the happiness and magic of the season, and start worrying more about the presents you can buy and the image you can present.

For many of us, this holiday season goes from being the most joyous time of the year to the most stressful. We scrimp and save for weeks and months, many of us going to extreme lengths and midnight purchase duels, just to get the perfect gifts and trinkets.

Because Christmas, and indeed the entire "holiday season", has mutated into something gruesome and ugly.

It's not about family anymore. It's not about sitting around listening to the laughter and tales of your loved ones; sharing songs and stories. Today, Christmas is about gifts and presents. Expensive meals. Expensive trips. Things, things, things. How many things can we buy this year? Gone are the images of mother and child, sitting down to make popcorn wreaths and hand-sewn stockings.

Somewhere, in all the rush and the hubbub, we have lost the meaning of Christmas. The warmth, the happiness, the simplicity. The sense of family and communion. We have stopped giving thanks and started feeding our greed, fattening ourselves on the vapid promises of an over-saturated corporate commercialism that is poisoning our love and our appreciation for life. We have lost the heart. We must have THINGS.

This holiday season, no matter your faith or celebrations, take a moment - a real moment. Look at the people around you, and appreciate them. Appreciate love. Appreciate warmth. The roof over your head, the smiles that you find. Appreciate the beauty of this life.

Remember the true reason for the season.

Love.  

It was the night before Christmas,

And all through the trailer,

The children had no warm clothes,

Not even one layer.

No cookies for Santa.

No tree for presents.

They could not afford them,

They were just humble peasants.

But inside that mobile home,

Something was different.

The children were laughing,

Even the infant.

How could they be happy?

You insist that it's fictional.

To the world they have nothing,

Their entertainment isn't digital.

I wish we'd look up,

From our material things.

And make time to show love,

To other human beings.

I look forward to Christmas every year, despite all of the hard life lessons I've endured. Either this is a testament to my stubborn ways or perhaps I'm just plain dumb.

My Christmas anticipation begins in September, the last day to be exact, when I flip the calendar page to October, beginning the countdown through Halloween and Thanksgiving, which always zoom by at the speed of sneeze. 

The events surrounding Thanksgiving is a forecast of  what's to be expected for Christmas that year. Basically, it's a forecast of Mom's craziness and whether or not it's worth paying premium prices to celebrate the birth of Jesus in Hawaii. Nothing says, "Hallelujah" like a roaring surf, a Mai Tai and scantily clad fire dancers. 

Some Thanksgivings are filled with cheer and extended family, featuring turkey, pie and sharing rich foods with our gassy dogs. Other Thanksgivings serve as a platform for Mom's rants and raves. It was especially confusing and hurtful as a young girl to wake up to the aroma of a roasting turkey in the morning, anticipating a delicious dinner all day and then not being able to eat because Mom suddenly decided my brothers and I were ungrateful bastards unworthy of her cooking. Looking back, I can clearly see I was the most ungrateful 12 year old bastard of a girl you would ever meet, refusing to wear pigtails and fluffy pink dresses like I did when I was five years old. I'll probably burn in Hell for my rebellious ways.

Sadly, this year forecasts cloudy with a chance of meatballs for Christmas. Mom and her meatball brain pulled another one of her stunts over Thanksgiving. I'll spare you the details, but it involves Mom encouraging my husband and I to leave town for the holidays and then quickly inviting everyone to her home upon confirmation of our departure.

Does it hurt? Hell yeah it does. 

So why do I still anxiously anticipate Christmas with the same starry-eyed hopefulness I had as a little girl? 

I love driving miles just to see rows of bright lights on other people's houses. I love drinking hot chocolate with my husband and kids (even though I don't really like hot chocolate). I love hunting down the perfect tree from Tom's tree lot, dragging it home and illuminating it with strings of LED lights. I cherish the happy looks on my kids' faces when they open their gifts (tickets to Hawaii this year - SURPRISE!). I love Christmas music and the feeling in the air all month long, a feeling so thick I can almost grab it with my hands. I love holding the little candle at church and listening to the congregation sing "Holy Night" as we give thanks for a savior who paid the ultimate price. I find this whole time magical and miraculous. 

A painful time? Yes. But also a reminder of how good I have it.

And Mom ain't got nothing to do with it.

Amen.

I love the Holidays for all of the typical reasons. I enjoy the time with family, the delicious food, and the glowing faces of my children as they open gifts. I love what Christmas represents to me as a Christian. However, there are other reasons that have caused me to fall deeper in love with the season.

My husband and I are classic procrastinators. This shared attribute isn't a bad thing when you also struggle with decision making. We've tried to shop in advance. It proved to be a miserable attempt. We over-analyzed ever gift idea. So, we get everything done over a hurried three day shopping spree and make excellent purchases in the process. This sounds painful, but it's quite enjoyable for us.

Our two children our obsessed with their uncle and quite rightly. He is a fantastic uncle. Our kids never need an excuse to go to his house. He is always willing to lend a helping hand during our shopping frenzy. We run a family business and are around our family most of the time. Not only is this time to get things accomplished, but our time together.

Away we go, stopping only for drinks. We talk about our families, the varying personalities, and hilarious gift ideas. Pick out gifts, swipe the card, load the car, drive. Repeat. Sounds painfully repetitive doesn't it?

The in-between time is what counts. Our time in the car alone has always been my favorite. We bond over music and the classic "where do you see yourself in ten years" conversations. Our lives unfold before us and we experience a new level of intimacy. As stressful as the Holidays seem, I revel in these moments.

Yet another reason I love it is my time alone when I shop. It doesn't hit me at the time. I'm busy doing and don't stop to think about how much I enjoy my time. I was reminded of this today. I was on my way home. "And It Stone Me" by Van Morrison came on my playlist. I felt myself close my eyes and relax my body. I realized how good it felt to be alone and unhurried as I browsed. I knew I'd soon be home and swept up in a whirlwind of chores. I really embraced that moment "and it stoned me to my soul" as Mr. Morrison said. 

I reflected on this past year, all the good and bad of it. I counted my blessings and prayed that 2016 does well for our family. I also gained more understanding of what it is about this time of year I love so much. It's the increased intimacy I experience with both my husband and myself. It's the time I spend reflecting on all of the people I love and who have impacted my life. It's the time I prepare for the year to come and dream of the future with my man. It's the time of my life, Christmas time.

Fly high with us

at Christmas time

a family gathering

to fly our kites

and soar

above the beach

together with joy

and peace

and togetherness.

Come spend the day

without intrusion

and rise with us

with paper birds

gliding high

above our heads.

At the end

of this time

of glorious closeness

we’ll pack our kites

feel our love

and remember

the day

of harmony

when Christ

was born.

Trees shine like illuminated grave robbers.

Lights hanging cascade frames

Over large tin doors boasting

Anachronisms altogether 

Decked in spite of harrowing 

Debt.  Roll over among dead

While an old big box sits in storage 

Somewhere, collecting dust behind tin

That is not lit 

But stands numbered obscurely among many unlit.

It contains old ornaments that were used

For many years

To celebrate. 

I am saddest at Christmas. Every card I get, every phone call and text, is a reminder of how many people couldn't care less about me. Any given time of the year, these people don't care what's going on in my life, or even know, yet I am supposed to receive their pretend interest with appreciation and joy? It's enough to make anybody depressed. I don't want another Christmas. I'm perfectly fine in my own world, away from the toxicity of false love and scheduled happiness.

I love the spirit of generosity. I hate the commercialism. I love the reconnection with friends and family. I hate this time of Earthyear on this side of Earthspace due to darkness gobbling up light. I love the correlation between a gift and an essence. I hate the obligation to give. I love gifts. I hate obligations. I love Love. I hate Hate (paradoxically). Fifty-eight words. Now sixty. Now sixty-three. Shit (now sixty-five as of five seconds ago). I love the holiday season, and I definitely do not hate it, ultimately, in conclusion. 

That's my thesis.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, I Love You All.