I haven't wrote about you once.

It hurts too badly,

My heartbeat stops at your name.

I gasp, I struggle, I nearly die....

So I push away every thought of you

Which is so grossly unfair....

But none of this is fair.

You were 5 when I got you.

I fell for half-truths about your real mom,

I judged & sentenced her unfairly,

I never once asked her a thing.

You called me "Mom" within a month.

You were unique & brilliant!

Misunderstood by father....

"Abandoned" by mother....

My "Mommy" gear switched into overdrive,

Making me love you even more.

Years pass, you're still unique & brilliant.

But I've become a victim.

I leave, years after I should have.

And suddenly, you're lost to me.

I'm forbidden to see you.

You are used as leverage, as bait.

Trying to force me back home.

I've recently become friendly

with your birth-mom.

She's a lost soul.

She saddens & terrifies me.

We have much in common.

We both lost you.

The day of reckoning will arrive...

Your father will have to answer to you

For his sanctimonious selfishness.

Until then, know this....

You're my son until I die,

My love will last beyond that.

From deep, slimy hole you came,

A crimson oil slick,

The tiny 'poles of life to blame,

For releasing from dipstick.

Fusing ovum, 'pole, and grain,

Will easy do the trick,

To labor mother toward the drain,

With metal, hook-like stick.

But you, my friend, are not to blame,

For simple arithmetic,

It's two plus two and sticky rain,

That made your mother sick.