I Dread That I Am Dead
I carefully penned a little note
And left it scotch taped on my boat
If you are reading this, I dread
That I am in all probability dead
No warning that high seas were broaching
Lightning, thunder and waves approaching
My water craft tipped over with me in it
I grabbed the life vest but, alas, it didn’t fit
Water was pouring in rivulets down my throat
I valiantly treaded water but I couldn’t float
The Coast Guard searched valiantly many days
finally gave up saying no use searching maze
My wife cried, tried to collect my life insurance money
they said she would have to wait 7 years , sorry honey
Meanwhile, I was hanging onto a life buoy at sea
When another boat came along and picked up me
I am now living a carefree life on Bahamian Isle
Without the drag of my wife, I’m living in style
Beautiful maiden feeding me coconut milk
Unfettered breasts and tanned skin of silk
I am forever dead to my wife but not to me
As I live my idyllic lifeblood on azure sea.
