Life skipped vinyl

A metal monologue of pain

A chorus played in reverse

A spiked needle of regret

There

In silence

against noise

I knew

what we were

There

In silence

against norm

I knew

what we lost

My sky bled black label

as the needle tore a hole

ripping the melody in half

of our song

blood filled my eyes

but you were gone

life is regret played backwards

at least life for now

Bedrock imbibes life in unsettled eve,

tides of hand shadows mark my journey,

essence of tulips broken and scattered.

I have traipsed these cloudy skies before

tasting broken legends of my reality,

clinging with moist hands to waning light.

One last stab waiting for daybreak,

sky trembles in blue tinged passion,

fragile but infinitely connected.

Silk strands flying with slivered breezes

imploring in frozen supplication,

impulsive life pounds on barred windows,

begging entrance for sun dappled rays.

Seeping into vestiges of bitter soul

sparkle of vitality reawakens,

shooting stars streaking for humanity.

I savor the scars and wrinkles as

pink tinged clouds reflect in my eyes,

cerulean sky composes rhapsodies,

an ode to my life lived to the hilt.

Life is not

about love

at the

earliest date

it’s all about

chemistry

or maybe

just fate.

Planets

must collide,

or comets

at least,

to grind

the earth

and release

the beast.

When the race

began and

the start light

went green,

non-living

molecules

were all

that was seen.

But here’s

the curse,

we’ve not

really sure

if proteins

came first.

The next bit

is slow.

Three point five

billion years ago

the proteins

fold and

start to grow.

So life came

from no life,

remember

this well,

that without

RNA’s splice

there’d be no

heaven or hell.

Now here

comes the

the acid test.

Did this

experiment

run by chance?

On a pin

how many

angels dance?

Now we

must cross

the ultimate line

in the sand,

and ask if

some kind

of God

may have

taken a hand.

Life

A single breath

Released

One lone note

Sung out

From the voice

Of God

Some notes float

Away

A dissonant gong

Alone

Some find a place in

The song

Creation's been

Singing all

Along

One lone note

Can't sing

But joined with another

It rings

Life is a song

If we find a place

To join

That melody

And sing

I have a brain tumor.

A wad of cells the size of a lemon

that I never noticed 

until I realized that other people

don't get severe migraines once a month.

I remember the shock,

my wife's hand on top of mine.

Her tears.

My denial, then anger.

After 3 months of the 9 that I had left,

the doctors said there is a procedure

where they could cut the lemon out of my head

with a minimal risk of death being 40 percent.

It was only when I was faced with the prospect of the end

that I stopped to ask what my life meant.

The procedure will me done on my prefrontal cortex,

the area of the brain that houses creativity, ambition,

personality,

everything that makes you- you.

See, more than the fear of death,

I fear something going wrong in my head.

I fear the thought of losing my personality

to the lemon.

More than death,

I resent the thought of living the rest of my life

as someone I'm not.

I've grown to accept that truth as life.

Waking up every morning 

and experiencing the world a different time

isn't what gives life its meaning,

rather life is what you see the world as

when you wake.

Who you are manifests into something that gives life purpose.

I'd rather die in 6 months

being the same man I was this morning,

than living one day as somebody else.

The best ever. Nothing can compare to it.

To some, it is just so simple.

Too simple.

But to me, it is my one love.

My everything.

The one thing that truly makes me happy.

It is the air I breathe in.

What I focus on the most out of everything.

Writing.

Come in.

To the end.

To the start.

To the new.

To the old.

To the real.

To the fake.

To our accomplishments.

To our mistakes.

We dance. 

I sit.

We laugh.

I cry.

We talk.

I shush.

We scream.

I whisper.

We form.

I break.

We date.

I dare.

We conquer.

I lose.

We live.

I die.

alone

my brain

fires a cadence,

a battle rhythm

onto the white

the world spinning

between my ears

more real

than the one

beneath my feet

I see thru the stars

slicing sideways into

the dark fabric

dancing blindly,

knees banging the edges

as I wrestle through the pinch

to meet what lies inside

for whatever it is

and isn't

is at least

as true

as what is waiting

outside for me

in the placid

night air

Life?

What defines us that we are living?

That thumping of our heart and that breathe of ours?

That blinking of our eyes or that thinking of our mind?

That folly that we do, or that pain we suffer from?

Or maybe emotions that sing within our veins?

Is life when humans express emotions and feel them or when our body just continues to grow and mend by its own accord?

Perhaps life is a mystery unsolved after all.