Hesitation, Our Wasteland

I see stutters and abrupt, almost gestures.

The inhaled breath to speak, held, and then slowly let out.

A reach, a jerky forward motion, a stop, and a draw back.

I see it everywhere I go, in these small instances.

Not applying to college.

Refusing to audition for that part.

Rationalizing not calling that one person.

Not trying, in general.

I see these too, these large chunks, these occasions, denied.

In all of its forms, hesitation is painful. 

It's like you see the cage locked around people's hearts, and as a witness you are moved, but resigned. They're the ones who have the key, after all.

Though firsthand, it's different. The experience.

Your delay, justified.

Reasoning, solid.

Uncertainty, dealt with.

Inaction, sensible.

The process is completely practical. Doing nothing is the best choice. There's no better excuse for staying in a safe space than proving the existence of a risk and avoiding it entirely.

But it's no excuse. 

The real reason hesitation exists is a lack of motivation.

And that's the real sadness, isn't it?

That people reject opportunity because it's scary.

It's fucking terrifying to fail.

But in the end, chances are only for those with the balls to seize it.

To me, there's no larger waste than a moment unrealized.

No wonder the world looks so barren, most of the time.

It's the place where dreams go to die.