boy meets girl
i crave moments
between the spaces
of boy meets girl,
the possibility that boy
makes a better door
than window
standing between girl
and her high-heeled
true love
i crave moments
between the spaces
of girl meets boy,
the possibility that girl
makes a better friend
than lover
routing for boy
and his modern-day
valiant prince
i crave moments
between the spaces
of boy meets girl,
the possibility that love
is love, and more
than just a punchline.
How Cliché
1. The walking killer always catches the running victim.
Victim could have a twenty minute head start and somehow the killer would still manage to catch them. What’s going on behind the scenes? Has the killer somehow learned to teleport places? Because that’s sure as hell how it seems in some instances.
2. “Be right back” = “Be back never”
These three little words are essentially a death sentence. Once uttered, there’s no turning back. You’re dead. That’s it. Better to just leave without saying anything than to say these three words.
3. “Let’s have sex in this abandoned insane asylum, nothing bad could possibly happen!”
Yeah…sex in a horror movie is basically a death sentence. Going to an abandoned place? DON’T HAVE SEX. Going to a cabin in the woods with friends? DON’T HAVE SEX. You will be the couple that dies. Just keep your hormones in check and wait until you’re NOT in a horror movie-esque predicament.
4. “Hello?” “Hold on, just putting my hockey mask back on, be right there.”
If you go into some random place (abandoned or otherwise) or if you hear what sounds like someone breaking into your home, DON’T YELL ‘HELLO.’ The burglar/killer is, more than likely, NOT going to reply. And if you’re stupid enough to think they will, it’s no wonder you were killed.
5. The girl who can do nothing more than scream while her friend fights off the killer…and ends up dead.
It’s always in the last moment that the girl finally shuts up and does something helpful. By then, IT’S TOO LATE. The friend is dead. Because all the girl could do was scream instead of trying to help. Had she stepped in a moment sooner, perhaps both could’ve survived. In some cases, both do, but the friend is usually pretty badly injured because of how unhelpful the screaming girl was.
6. Gets friends killed by making stupid decisions…Ends up being the one who lives.
Typical. The person who makes the worst decisions is the one who survives to the end. Not in all instances, but there’s a good majority. Why couldn’t the person who’d been sensible throughout survive? Oh, right, because the one who’d been stupid made a decision that got them killed.
7. “Let’s split up because being by yourself when there’s a lunatic around is definitely better than staying in a group!”
Makes total sense. Because one-on-one is DEFINITELY better than five-on-one, right? Apparently.
8. Victim has opportunity to run outside…instead runs upstairs.
Good choice. Front door is right there, killer hasn’t spotted you yet and you choose to run UPSTAIRS instead of OUTSIDE to safety. You deserve a round of applause.
While not all horror movies have these clichés (and there’s certainly more out there), a good portion of them do and it’s frustrating. I want more horror movies where the characters make all the right decisions and still end up dead.
Nauseating Love Plots
- Cliches Exist in Movies-
I hate him
I love him
Miscommunication equals hating him again
Communication re-established equals I love him forever
Over and Over ....all of the time this false facade of the metamorphose of LOVE
Guess what RomComs that's not how it works. Quite using repetition to plant your lie in the hearts and heads of those craving something real.
Romance 101
Her eyes sparkling
Tears falling
Legs moving, moving, moving
Away from what was called home
A dress, streaming in the wind
Agonised eyes, looking after her receeding back
Days, months pass
Once beautiful, now plain
Yet the world watches and waits
For the girl who was disappointed to find her true love
Oh? A young man
On steed, on chariot, in car, in carriage
Times past, times present, times future
Always young, oh so young
Powerful, more than the one to disappoint
A glance, one that freezes time
Eyes meet; they will meet again
Once upon a time
Don’t
If caught, with a broken down car, in a storm
Do not call out to the silhouetted form
And when he shows you to your room, explaining
That no mechanic is on when it's raining
Do not, please, settle for a nice, warm shower
Or suddenly feel amorous this hour
Keep your clothes on, stay together, check the locks
And, don't, for love of god, open that strange box
Just, with all your friends near, pray for morning quick
And ignore news of escaped mentally sick
The sun WILL return, it can't rain forever
And, your near miss story will be so clever
Scene Cliche
"I'm sorry for dumping this on you," Love Interest stammers, running a hand through her mousy brown hair.
"It's fine," Protagonist laughs at her shyness. His smile makes her heart pound.
"No," insists Love Interest, "Detailed Tragic Backstory probably doesn't matter to you anyway." Heat rises to her face and he pushes her hair behind her ear. "I mean, an Overpowered, Handsome Protagonist like you doesn't care about a Shy, Stuttering Supporting Character like me anyway. Sorry again for-"
Love Interest is cut off when Protagonist is suddenly kissing her.
End Scene.
Guy vs. Girl
It's always the same. The guy sees the woman of the story. They hate each other at the beginning, yet are strongly attracted to each other. It becomes the same guy meets girl. Girl resists his affections. Guy stalks girl. Girl gets restraining order ... oh ... wait. I'm sorry, that was how my life went ... but that is a story for another time.
Back to what I was saying, they classically fall for each other and tale as old as time have a happily ever after.