My Darling,

I kneel beside you

Your last breath no longer 

Beading sweet moisture along my fingers

As I've weaved them into yours

To watch you pass into a light you were born of

Your chest will never rise with your lungs again

And your lips are silent once and for all 

I can feel the tick of your second hand 

Slowing with each beat of your heart 

I now know for certain that you will go first

I never imagined this moment

Me waiting for the end as you sleep  

I always saw this much differently

I wanted to leave first 

So that you could be given a place to grow

Without my weight

The freedom to move on to someone more 

Honest and deserving 

Of the pedestal you keep 

In place for the one you hold 

We have made a promise 

To find one another when we leave these bodies

One I knew I'd not be 

Allowed to keep

Beyond my own existence here

You swore to me that you would 

Wait on the other side

With pink roses 

In the place where you first 

Had me as your own

My love, you are going  

I cannot let you wander in vain  

I have given you all of my white 

And my shining

All of the afterglow and sweetness

Of a loyal soul, to you that I have been

But I have only shown you what I wanted you to see

And I have lied to you day after day 

So that you believed you walked this soil 

Hand in hand with purity by your side.

Where you are meant to be now

Will not allow the wickedness of a devil  

The heart behind this mask is black to all but you  

This love alone is not enough 

To take me to where you are made to go  

I have given to you with everything 

Decent inside me  

But darling

You are the only thing 

That has kept me good

Before you

I was a scavenger

Feeding and cursed to life  

After you

I will be so again

Do not wait for me, Love 

Eternity is a fee far too great 

A price you should never pay

For what I have to offer 

Move forward from the stench of me

A beauty like yours 

Cannot be left to linger

In wait 

For such a crooked 

Smile as mine

Staring into

the mirrored pool,

I see no reflection

splayed on dead grass

while you soar above

the pull of the earth.

Journey of your soul

in undried tears

leaving faint recollections

of gossamer light -

your energy remains

never dissolves or fades.

You’re bound with

the raiment

of stars in the sky,

tied by intricate knots.

The tether slips,

my rivers begging

to flow but gate

is padlocked

and I’m bereft

on the other side.

It’s not in the leaving -

it’s the living

and loving,

left alone to ponder

my nothingness.

Death has offered

its ultimate kiss.

I'm sorry to tell you this, honey, but please listen close.

It has something to do with where we’ll rest our souls.

 A while ago, I sold mine to the Devil. 

Not for money or power or love, though he haggled.

I gave it to Lucifer, I gave it for keeps.

I let him have it for a moment of peace.

And that ol’ naughty Satan, do you know what he did?

He snatched my soul; in it's place, a demon now lives.

So, sorry dove, but I won't be with you when you see those pearly gates. 

I’ll be ruling in hell, sipping tea with some snakes.

Life is wonderful

And the river trip

Was soulful - well worth

The single coin to

Journey on the dark

And lovely River Styx.

But as the light is

Totally eclipsed

I realise I can't

Swap eternal sunshine

For a single kiss

And must now disembark

Before I'm missed.

Darling devil,

I wish you well

But all things equal

I couldn't stand

All the upheaval

Of joining you in Hell.

The devil doesn't come to you 

all red and fire and brimstone 

But he seeps into your life 

like ink in water, or a low black cloud

Then rises up in you like a dark wave

Until you're a house in the night without lights on.

The devil doesn't howl at you

all loud and wild and gutteral

But at night he whispers, calmly

Into sleeping, dreaming ears

Lustful liturgies and broken gospel

Until you're a radio without a melody.

The devil doesn't bear fruit for you

all crisp and tart and sweet

But he serves you some candlelit dinner, 

Slow-braised and falling off the bone,

Until your stomach turns

And all that you taste is rotten.

The devil doesn't make me come for you,

My skin all red and fire and brimstone - 

But your hands, your tongue, your eyes

Your body is hallowed ground,

Bury me beneath it,

Three shovels-full of dirt upon me

Until I'm a moan without a mouth. 

One for the time you pulled my hair

Two for the time you choked me 

Three for the time you told me you loved me

I am the unsaved, and it is warm here.

Hazardous crash 

Life trapped in a flash,

She died but came alive

A miracle that happened at 5:00

Sinners we were, deeply tragic 

Hell awaited with all its dark magic 

But I made a deal, 50 lives I would steal 

She was given another chance 

A chance to relive and transcend her fate 

Mistakes you need to amend 

Goodbye my love, I will always be within you.

Yes I love you, don't you doubt

But I must tell you what it's all about

You think you're human, partially true

But humanity isn't all that's me or you

The human experience is what we chose

When browsing, a selection that arose

You don't remember, that's part of the fun

You'll be glad when it's said and done

When we leave here my precious love

It isn't to go up to "heaven" above

It has nothing to do with religion

That is a concept as local as a pigeon

There is no such thing as "good and evil" 

That idea's local to human people

But we can choose just what we wish

We browse the menu and pick a dish

You can experience what you conceive

It's your choice what you receive

It sounds crazy but it's true

Humanity was chosen by me and you

How do I know these things I say?

Information given the other day

One minute I knew as much as you

The next I was flooded with the truth

When we finish we move on

Believe it's pointless to 

    weep when 

            I'm gone.

My darling,

as difficult as this is to tell you,

I must bid you adieu forever.

You see many years ago I promised that if I could just be close to you, close enough to smell your hair, then I would be happy forever and I would give up everything including my own soul just to see you have a happy life.

And look at you! You did! You were an amazing bright and shining light for many!

You brought hope to those who didn't have any,

you showed compassion to those in need

and you gave love to everyone indeed!

My sacrifice was worth seeing you ascend into the higher realms without end

and if I had it to do all over again I'd still do it the same way!

Now go and know that my love goes with you.

Forever and Always.

Do you remember when we said “Until death do us part.”?

And then you said, “Even then, we will meet each other again when death has taken us both.”

I remember, I remember it very clearly. The shine of happiness in your eyes, the overbearing scent of flowers permeating the air in that small cramped church. The old wooden floor creaking beneath us as we shifted our bodies, the nerves and excitement of what we were doing not lost upon us. We were the only two in attendance that day, along with the priest who agreed to be our witness. Our families didn’t know, and weren’t too happy when they did know, saying we were too young and foolish.

When our fiftieth anniversary came around, they finally decided to keep their mouths shut. Although, the fact that most of them were dead by that point also probably was a factor.

We had our issues, you and I, a marriage full of ups and downs, just like any other. But we had agreed to face them head on, together. There was no way we would abandon each other at our time of need.

And we did a good job with that, until now.

Now as we both make our way to death’s door, I must make one final confession: I won’t be able to join you in death.

I have been cursed with immortality in the strangest of ways. I can grow old, but once I die, I am immediately reborn. As I age in my new life, the memories come flooding back, of lives long past, and sometimes they’re so vivid that they drive me to the brink of insanity. Now though, when my memories return, you will be among them, and I shall be dragged from the edge of insanity. Your face, your touch, your laugh, your very existence will remind me that love does exist, and maybe someday I will find you again.

As I look upon you now, watching you take your final breaths of air, still stubbornly clinging on to life, I have something to say to you.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

And one day, I hope we meet again.