Remind me never ever never to cop off a Jawa again. 

This shit is obviously laced with bile of tauntaun. Should've listened to the wookie. What the fuck am I saying? I can't understand a damn thing that wook says, he might as well have been talking to me about having sex with ewoks and I wouldn't know the difference. Whose idea was it to let shag carpets fight for the Alliance anyway? The Princess? She's done enough space dust to fill a Death Star with... Ohhh, hellion no, looks like JarJar is coming on hard, I think he took twice the dose! May the force be with you muthafucka, oh gosh, he is so screwed... just don't talk to me... the spit is bad enough when you aren't lit to the gills... This is getting freaky enough that I shouldn't have to worry about explaining Gungan spit slime stains on my uni to the council in the morning... hope I get my  shit together before the meeting. 

Going to have to lay low. Swim in. Swim out. Try not to look like my face is melting off. Hold on. My face always looks like it is melting off what the fuck do I have to worry about? I'm good. I'm good.

All good.

Why worry? 

Worry? What worry? What was I worrying about?

Damn, this stuff set my brain to echo. No worries...w'rries...rries. 

Look at that sweet little tadpole on the other side of the cantina. Check her out of my right eye. Ok, now the left... wish I could look at her with both at the same time without looking cross-eyed. That just kills it every time. Oh damn, she may be a few tentacles short of being legal; last thing I need is to get busted in the cantina gumming on an underage handjobmaiden while tripping my gills off on tauntaun bile. I can just see my career going down the hatch... have to stop stressing this stuff or I will end up looking like a nemoidian who smokes too many deathsticks... 

Just have to let it ride. Jusssssssst have to chilllllllllllaxxxxxxx... 

Damn I wish Solo was here. He always knows how to slide a fella through a dose like this. CRAP! Jabba dabba do not do that! JarJar! YOU CAN'T JUST START HUGGING EVERYONE IN THE CANTINA! 

Fuck...

Now everyone knows. Stop staring at me... No I'm not tripping, you just look like I'm tripping...

Ackbar couldn't feel his cheeks. That was good. It meant he was nearly there. He took another pull on his pipe and sat back in the cushions of the lounge chair. 

It's a trap!  

He had really nailed that one. 

Ackbar's head was swimming, he tilted it to the side to get a better look at the dancers. The entire building seemed to tilt with him, Ackbar's stomach lurched and he was standing, his heart pounding, ready for battle commands, but the room began to right itself, and the music from the bandstand brought him back from the bridge. The cantina came into focus and Ackbar sat back into his cushions. A lazy grin spread across his face as his gaze fell back on the dancing women.

They're a trap!

His grin grew wider. He had nailed it again.

No wonder they have me in command of the fleet. I nail it.

He took another pull on his pipe.

Everytime.

A droid came over to him, offering whatever swill this end of the galaxy produces. He took a double of the green stuff and threw it back tasting,

 peppermint with something else... almost metallic...

Ackbar's ears began to ring, softly at first and then it was all he could hear.

 Just like over Endor...

He had had the taste of metal in his mouth too. 

Right after...

Akbar surged to his feet, "It's a trap!" 

His yell cut raggedly across the cantina. The band stopped its playing, heads swiveled to look his way, the entire space in a moment had gone completely quiet. Admiral Ackbar looked about himself with confusion written on his face, as if awaking in a place he had no memory falling asleep in. Slowly, haltingly, he lowered himself into his cushions.

"It was a trap..." He muttered to himself, not quite sure why.

The sounds of the cantina, of the music and patrons, started up again, rolling over Ackbar and taking him away. His eyes fell on the dancers and lingered. He took a pull of his pipe.

Now there's a trap I'd like to spring.

"No really! you must process this!  True story!" Ackbar tells himself. Admiral Ackbar is heading to the local space bar. His craft has docked. He's already feeling his thoughts wildly zooming as they create what he sees in and out of his mind. He likes the trip. It is a day of tradition. All creatures in this area of the galaxy gather at the space bar. Admiral Ackbar has been working with genetic engineers manipulating human form. Hans Solo has irritated him. His internal monologue: "Human body processing. I see one over there. Such an oddity, human anatomy. I will arrange for the anus to be where the mouth is and the mouth to be where the anus is. It's a crap! Humans will then be literal about talking shit. For the resistance and the rebels, humans will be front line. They will also have an elongated head. I may send a few to build pyramids on another planet. Hans called me shit for brains. He said he was "joking."I do have a big brown head. I will complete the human droid factory and send humans to the reactor. I will sit in the throne room soon. Why are my hands really long and I have a lizard mouth? Oh yeah. I'm tripping at the Death Star Bar." 

Laughing in Space and Dance. Repeat. Yeah. I have more DNA in common with fish than humans. Whoa. Sick. It that drums? Shit's epic. BOMBS! No, it was just me. Am I on a boat? No... I'm on a ship...A spaceship!

What if I was a glowing pink octopus. Then I would never have to pay for the electrical bill to the Senates committee. But I could never turn of the light... I would never find peace. No glowing fish here, no sir.

I like being in the dark. You can float around in space is a secure capsule and just observe. I want to discover everything. What If I saw a supernova? Or a dying star... Is that the same thing?

I wonder if there's galaxies far, far away or alternative dimensions. I wonder if I had been a pink, squiggly, fish there. I might have been royalty. Like for real. Maybe I would have a garden. I could watch the clouds from down below for once.

I want to fly trough a forest before I get blowing to pieces in these fucking wars. Flying over a desert would be cool too. Not like I do now, but alone and at peace.