I'm looking around the deserted street, finding no one but a stray orange cat. The only indicator that there is any life on this particular part of town. The message said to be here. I take out my phone and reread the message from Mac.

NORTH STAR STREET

BUILDING ACROSS FROM THE OLD MUSEUM

8:38 pm

Meet me there, please?

I sighed and glanced at the time, 8:33 it read. I looked up from my phone. It had already started getting dark and it was cold out. I could see the fog of my breath whenever I exhaled. A sure sign I should have put on more than a light jacket over my flannel pajama pants and a black T-shirt.

The message didn't say to go inside or what to even do when we got here for that matter.

Mac was always doing this. He loved pulling pranks on people and, over the years, I've grown to hate it. He never takes into consideration what other people do for him or other peoples feelings. But most of all, he likes leading people on. That's why this is something that would be right up his alley.

Mac and I were best friends.

One night at his house we were watching TV, our favorite thing to watch was Law and Order, specifically SVU.

We were sitting in the living room couch when, all of a sudden, he asked what I would do if he was gone. I replied with a sarcastic answer, "oh I would definitely die." I laughed and he laughed to, but I could tell he didn't find it entirely funny. "But seriously, what do you think would happen?"

"It doesn't matter." I said. "'Cause that'll never happen."

That was the end of it for now. Later that night, Law and Order went on commercial so I got up to go make popcorn. I went straight for the kitchen as if it was my own house. I had came here enough that that was basically what it was. My second home. I opened a cabinet, right where the popcorn was, and put it in the microwave. I set it for 2 minutes and 30 seconds and pressed start. After about a minute Mac came in and leaned up against the counter. I laughed at that. He was always trying to seem like a ladies man when, in reality, he was a complete gentleman.

"Hey I got another question." He said. "Alright." I replied. "But make it easy. You know I can't multitask." I joked.

"What do you think would happen if I just kissed you right now?" He had to be kidding, I thought. We were friends, right? I hadn't really thought of him that way. I mean, sure he was good looking. Tall and slightly muscular. Sandy blonde hair with clear green eyes. But I had never thought of him as more than a friend. My best friend.

Apparently I had a dumb look on my face because he laughed. A small nervous laugh, he looked down.

"Well there's no better time then the present." He said, leaning forward. He went slow, my guess, is so I could tell him to stop if I didn't want this. I didn't know, so I didn't stop him.

His lips touched mine softly, almost hesitantly. Almost. After a second his lips departed from mine. He smiled, then it faded. He looked back to my lips and came for another. This one was more passionate. Fiercer. Almost desperate. I let myself kiss him back and I let myself get lost in his mouth. In ours collided. He put one hand on my cheek, the other on my hip. But not advancing. I put my hands to his chest. Not to push him away, but to steady myself so I didn't pass out. Tightening his shirt in my fist. As if being awaken from a dream, the microwave timer went off and the popcorn was done. It didn't quite burn, thank goodness, but even if it had, I don't think I would have minded that much.

We started seeing each other but we had decided friends were probably better, well, he decided that. I just listened.

The fact that he's texted me now is...off. Or so it seems. I walked over to the building right when a car pulled up. It was Taylor. A girl I introduced to Mac. We were all friends, but I don't know why she's here. I'm kinda jealous it wasn't just me he contacted. I looked at my phone again. 8:37.

"What are you doing here?" Taylor asked. She had a hard time seeing things through sometimes and other times, she speaks before she thinks, thus being known for dumb questions.

"Same as you, I'm guessing." She was wearing a flattering knee length purple dress with black lace at the bottom and top, and a complimenting thin black belt. Her fading makeup and stilettos suggest she was out earlier tonight. On any other occasion I would have asked why she was all dressed up but I let it be for now.

"Have you tried going inside?"

"Nope."

"Were you planning to?"

"Yeah."

"Well alright then." Taylor started making her way to the old building's door when I heard someone shout, "Taylor! Ally!" Only one other person I know ever calls me Ally.

And that's Joey. Mac's best guy friend. They've known each other since they were kids and have been best friends since preschool. I had the upmost pleasure of meeting him while Mac and I were dating. He's a pretty good guy, minus the fact he, and sometimes purposely, gets my name wrong.

"Alex." I reply as I usually do. When I'm not rolling my eyes or playfully hitting him in the arm. Joey was tall and dark skinned. He has his head shaved and tattoos on his right arm and neck. Not that you could see them with his hoodie on.

"Sure it is." He says through his smile.

"So where's Mac at?"

"Inside I would think." Taylor responds, happy to finally be acknowledged. Her and Joey had met once or twice before but they weren't really friends.

"Well then let's go." All three of us walk into the building to find a mattress with some blankets thrown across it in the corner of the room. Wrappers and bags from fast food restaurants, some still with food in them. The building's small, probably a house in the sixty's. I didn't think anyone cared about this place much less thought about someone living here. Joey walked through the apparent crash pad, obviously familiar. "You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Yeah, so what?" He replies to my question. I didn't really have an answer so I just let us fall into silence.

"Mac said to meet us here at eight thirty something and it's..." Joey glanced at the watch on his wrist. "...8:42. So, where is he?" We all look around and I see a sticky note on the far wall. I walk over and take it off. I start reading the shaky written note aloud.

"Thank you guys for coming. If you're wondering where I am I'm in the back room. Just ask Joey."

That's all it says. I turn my head over to Joey.

"Well?" Taylor says.

"Through here." He says with a nod. We walk a narrow hallway into what seems to be a spare room. Joey opens the door and Taylor screams. I'm shocked. Too shocked to move. Mac is laying on another old mattress with pill bottles sitting on the floor beside him. He looks awful. His sandy blonde hair has been torn out in some places, others just falling out. His skin looks ashy, the way it's described in books or how it looks in movies, only...more real. Vivid. I see vomit on the side opposite of his collection of medication, which gives the room a foul stench.

"Come on Tay." Only two people can call her that. Mac and me.

"I don't look that bad do I?" Suddenly I'm aware of my pjs and Taylor's dress. But I try to push that far from my mind. That's the last thing I need to be thinking about.

"Surely you guys could excuse this eye sore so you don't miss the fun." Even at this moment, he's witty and happy. Well, maybe not happy.

I'm the first to step inside the room, followed by Joey, then Taylor. I knelt down next to the side of the bed with all the pill bottles. Moving them away with my knees.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" I tried to joke. He smiled but he was obviously in some kind of pain. You could see it in his eyes, in his smile.

"Such sins are between me and God." He was joking obviously, but he never talked about God like that. I tried to get him to come once or twice, to church that is, but he had always refused or came up with some excuse.

"What's really going on Mac." Joey interjects.

"Mac, we need to get you an ambulance." Taylor said. She was pleading. She reached for her cellphone.

"No!" Mac's shout hung in the room. She lowered her phone.

"Please. I've gone this far to pass in peace. Don't let all my efforts be for nothing. You have to have a good reason for me dragging you out in the middle of the night." Another joke. But I didn't think this was funny. What did he mean 'pass in peace'?

"I wanted my closet friends with me here tonight, and now that you're here, I can."

"What is it you're trying to do Mac?" I said, cautiously.

"It's not what I'm trying to do. He said. "It's what has already started and now it's time to finish it."

"Finish what?" Taylor asked. But I knew.

"Mac? Are you dying?" The words sounded so weird in my mouth. Almost foreign. How could I have asked that?

"'Cause if so..." I lost my train of thought. I started sobbing. Joey came up and put a hand on my shoulder then on Mac's. Stepping on a few bottles in the process.

"Whatever you need man, we'll be here." I thought I heard a crack in his voice. I looked to Joey's face to see any trace of tears, but all there was on his face was concern and sincerity.

"Taylor." Mac says, beckoning her to come closer. You could tell she was torn between her friend and the situation but she came over to lay her hand on his shoulder too. "I'm so glad I got to meet you, even if it was only for a short amount of time. The memories you have given me are so precious to me, and I thank you." Taylor smiled a sad smile. Tears streaking down her face. "No need to thank me," she chocked out through her tears. "I was taught to give great things to the needy..." She started sobbing half way through her joke. She sniffed and wiped her nose on her arm.

"Alex." He said. "I thought I should give you a good explication to why I thought we should have ended what we had the way I-" "Don't you dare bring that up now." I said as tears were rolling down my face. "Right now we need to be talking about...-

"Alexandra, if you interrupt me on my death bed again I'll have to sentence you to leave." I tried to laugh at his humor, and semi-successfully did. But one can only laugh so much at a time like this.

"Now, where was I?"

"Telling Ally not to interrupt you." Joey chimed in.

"Your breakup." Taylor says, trying to join in on the forced humor.

"Ah yes, thank you.

"I was already spiraling into-" he pointed to himself. "This, and I thought it might be best."

"But I could have helped you. Been with you through this instead of sitting here now feeling guilty for not trying harder." I broke out into a full on cry.

"Alex, don't blame yourself." I have never heard him speak with such gentleness before. It made me want to cry even more.

"I love you Alexandra Parks, and always will." I leaned into his chest and started bawling. I whispered, "I love you too." I forced myself off, crying and sniffling like a child.

"And Jo." He looked at Joey in only a way best friends can. "What is one to say. Keep these two misbehaviors in line. But-" he leaned into whisper to Joey, "Ally's mine." It's not like he was actually trying to say it to Joey without anyone hearing, and I'm so glad he didn't. We all laughed. I could tell Mac had begun growing tired, I could see it in his eyes. I prayed he wouldn't go. That he wouldn't leave us here, alone.

"Well I've said my farewells so I guess I'll be letting go now." I could see the fear in his eyes. "I just ask you guys one more thing, don't leave. Not till I've gone." Taylor was crying uncontrollably now. Joey had silent tears on his cheeks.

"Don't go." I whisper.

"Please don't go." Louder this time, making my voice shake and tears prickle out of my eyes.

Mac's smile was weak. He looked around to all of us.

"I truly love you all. In different ways of course, but nonetheless, I love you all, and I hope to see you all again someday." We let ourselves sit in silence as he closed his eyes and drew a few more shaky breaths. then I heard Joey say, "I love you too." Then Taylor, "I love you too." Breaking half way through her confession. I looked up into his closed eyes, hoping that he'd open them one last time so i could see those emerald green eyes look back up at me, but they didn't.

"I love you Macon Moore." I saw his mouth twitch and his eyes slowly cracked open as he said "I know." And he was gone. His eyes slowly clouded over. The hand I was holding became limp. His green eyes starring at me. The people around me were crying, even Joey, breaking out into a sob. But none of them knew love for him like I did. I broke out into a scream. Half rage half grief. I want to tear my hair out. To scream until I awake him from his endless sleep. To awake myself from this endless nightmare.

His eyes slowly clouded over.

The people around me were crying, but none of them knew love for him like I did. If they had, they would know this was a waste of time. No intervention was going to cure him. He was already dead two times over. And the funny part was, it was all their fault. They were the ones that abused him, abandoned him, leaving him to find comfort in something else. Such as his mothers medicine cabinet. That witch. Sobbing like she actually cared. But I knew, I knew it was all an act. She was a Pill popping junkie just as much as he was. The difference was she settled with consuming them orally and washed it down with a bottle of wine instead of downing Jack.

I think back to what he used to be. The sad smiles and swollen lips. Not this bumbling skeleton whose incoherent words erase the memories of the beautiful songs he once sung to me. And suddenly I need air. I am drowning here between their sobs and his drooping face. I stand up and head for the door. Knowing full well the next time I see him will be in a coffin. But I don't cry. Because I mourned his passing long ago.

Our love had been a mystery, only known to us. Magical and phenomenal, everything that we could have ever wished for; other than it being secret. I made it to the hospital just in time, smashing through the doors with tears in my eyes and panic in my posture. His eyes slowly clouded over. The people around me were crying , but none of them knew love for him like I did. He felt my presence and reached for me. In front of everyone my eyes he seen. In that moment our love was no longer secret, it was free and seen.