Piercing orange,

spitting fierce juices,

Cruel globule of Vitamin C,

I have only put you aside,

to wipe my eyes for a moment.

Soon I will savor these slices,

forget how you stung me,

and cherish simple chunks,

of morning nourishment.

It began with a bike accident when I was thirteen. I broke my two front teeth in-half when I face-planted into the asphalt.

My parents were poor, and we didn't have dental anymore...

So, it took them two years to fix them for me. Two years is a long time for an adolescent to deal with broken teeth. A long enough time to develop bad habits that would effect me for the rest of my present life.

I stopped brushing my teeth. I hated seeing them in the mirror. I hated how sensitive they were sometimes, especially my front teeth where the root-- the nerves were exposed. By the time they did get fixed, I'd fallen out of the routine of brushing and I was too difficult a teenager for my parents, or my siblings to encourage me to pick it back up. So I didn't, not regularly like I should have.

I grew up on Mountain Dew and eventually converted to Coke, sometimes Pepsi. Sugar became the taste of happiness, especially in it's carbonated dark flavors-- with cherry on top. I didn't know it would eat away at my teeth. I didn't know it would discolor them, especially without proper brushing.

When my wisdom teeth came in when I was eighteen or so, I didn't want to go to the dentist. I had a subconscious phobia about even looking at them. The more I drank my happy flavors, the more brittle my teeth got. In a few years those wisdom teeth started breaking molars as they pushed into my mouth.

I was too busy with the rest of my life to pay it much mind. I'm well versed in dealing with pain so it was just another pain to swallow. Chased down with Coke. The corrosive beverage eventually got to my veneers too. Eleven years after having them fixed, and one of them broke in half again-- on a piece of bacon. (Story of my life.)

I'm thirteen all over again. I can't help but look in the mirror and check out the damage. My teeth... they're yellowed-- coke and cigarettes no doubt. I cried. What had I done? For the second time in my life, I was embarrassed to open my mouth. More than that, I was ashamed. So much so I insisted my Twin do all the talking when we were out, including ordering my food or asking a store clerk where something was.

Not a year later the other one broke. Leaving my mouth a mangled mess of discolored corroded and broken teeth. Life hasn't been favorable for maintaining dental insurance and money is a battle all it's own. My teeth have become a reflection of the hope I have in ever fixing them.

You'd think I'd stop drinking that taste of happiness for the colors of pain it's caused, but it's like an addiction. A pleasant chaser for the more sour swallow of shame.

|| another-proser ||

Pain flashes

In blues and blacks

They smear and run

Across your vision

Conspiring

Against your taste of

Bright happiness

Fluttering of butterfly wings

Graze your tongue

Their dust

Coating your tongue

Like tasteful glitter

Flashing in blues in blacks

red

engulfing

emanating from my wound

whether or not it's visible

whether or not it's physical

I feel the heat of blood

crimson

red

you can taste the sunlight in them

barefoot and stained

lips drip

strawberry kisses

warm caress

pure joy

sunlight

crimson

Pain has a color

You may not see it

But ask anyone whose sad

Pain has a color

But it's an odd color

The color that degrades all other colors

A color that makes all the other colors turn black and gray

A color that numbs every other one

A color that makes all the other colors almost cease to exist till you only feel the pain

But like wise

Happiness had a taste

Something that adds to all the other experiences

The taste can hardly be placed in words

But to me it's peaches and cigarettes

For my friend it's bubblegum and chocolate

For him it's watermelon

Happiness taste different to everyone

But they all know the taste

Even if words can't describe

They'll know the taste

Pain

A sorrowful shade of red

Tinged with blue sadness

Green bitter

And a yellowy fear

Purple anger dusts it's edges

Wrathful and frightened

Bitter and pitiful

A tawny shade of carrot

Happiness

A delicious taste

Like a cool drink of water

Or a warm cup of soup

That refreshing burst of taste

A taste like oranges and vanilla

Like lilac and honey

Like all the best foods combined

A cornucopia of delight

Red

Like blood drops

Filling my mind

The end of time

Bringing me to place of hate

Pain

Like blood drops

Filling my gaze

A red haze

No end to this maze of agony

Flavors

What's this?

A word whispering in my mind

Even in the smallest nooks

It leaves a lingering taste behind

Sweet

Sour, salty, bitter

Happiness is a mix

Wisdom, eternity, suffering, joy, love

A melting-pot of emotions

The color of pain

The taste of happiness