wingless and weighted

more than slightly suffocated

I remember when you simply stated

"I need out"

it was not a break up

it was an offer

my mind spun

wheels whirring

maybe we won't be together

forever after all

I couldn't up and bolt

on me this town had a hold

I was not so bold

as you

the coffee tastes more bitter every day

and here and now

as the wind makes trees sway

I know why you went away

why did I stay

the lights were pretty

I used to like it

when it was windy

but I now realize

why you left this city

The night air filled with

horn honks and voices

Jazz musicians

And guitars

Drowning out all thought

Lights bright and blaring

Flashing and changing

Blinding eyes from the night sky

The air lays heavy

Entering lungs

Filled with fumes

Traffic stops

Even now

I can get there faster by foot

So I walk

In the rain

Wishing to be home

For this city is a wretched place

No friendly hellos

Nor smile or nod

Only shifty eyes and frowns

And now I realize why you left this city and told me never to go

For it is a disappointment

Nothing like what they sell you

Leaving you broken

And washed out

Longing for a way back home

What if I told you, you could.

We were in high school

when you signed your life away

That's how I saw it

That's how I called it

Anyway

I scoffed and I railed against you

Insulted your intelligence

Long periods of silence

Your beg me to talk

I was angry with you

But mostly I was afraid

You'd come back in a box

As time passed my

idiotic ideology

Faded as quickly as it had come

And I began to feel a deep lust

For your destiny

In love with the sea

Five years later

And I cringe when I think

Of the way I treated you

It took me a world of time

But I now realize why you left this city.