Sometimes, I just pause to reflect in disbelief. I had always supported pro-choice, sex education, birth control, and was intrigued by the topic of pregnancy. I even once created a project about teen pregnancy for a social work class. So, that’s all quite ironic to my situation.

Additionally, I always thought of teen pregnancy as happening to those girls, you know “the girls who got pregnant.” I always that about how that girl got pregnant and that girl got pregnant and this girl got pregnant, and to be honest, I kinda did judge them a little. I can’t say I thought about them completely without bias.

Then, it happened to me. Wow. I’m the girl who got pregnant in college. The girl who got pregnant before marriage. The girl who got pregnant while single.

I was now the girl who didn’t beat teen pregnancy.

I was now that girl. I was ironically pregnant and I was now, one of those girls. Sometimes it’s so hard to believe. Wow. It blows my mind.

Now, I realize, there’s nothing wrong with being “one of them.” We’re all just the small percentage who got unlucky. Basically everyone’s having sex, and all of those people take the risk of pregnancy each time they have sex, yet only a small percentage of people get unlucky and actually experience the possible result we are all risking. We’re that small percentage that got unlucky.

I realize-there’s no reason to judge that small percentage, because everyone else is taking the risk of it too. Just support us, because we need it. The last thing we need is your judgement. In fact, applaud us, because each young woman who faced a positive pregnancy test has debated a very tough, complex, fundamental decision and experienced a life-changing period of time regardless of her decision.

And also, let our situations continue to motivate you to practice safe sex in order to decrease your risk of joining our small percentage.

Being “one of them” has offered me insight into the minds of young parents, pregnancy, motherhood, abortion, and adoption. From one incident I learned a plethora of lessons and grew such a great deal as a person. The situation was emotionally complex, tolling, and long-lasting, but I do not regret the situation. It has shaped me and it has taught me.

To those who chose to parent, props to you. You all made several sacrifices for your baby, and I know it wasn’t easy for you. To those who chose adoption, props to you, because I know that was a very difficult decision for you.

To anyone who experienced pregnancy when least expecting it, go you, you are so strong. We are “one of them” and we are ready to take on the world!

#abortion #adoption #parenting #pregnancy #teenpregnancy #youngmothers #pregnancytest #judgemental #lifelessons #learning #motherhood #thatgirl

Empathize and forgive.

Empathizing is what gives us freinds.

Our struggles, our faults, everthing we know isn't perfect- that is what makes us stronger. That is what binds us together. We share a fault, we work together to get over it. We share a similar situation of distruction, we cry together.

Our forgivness is what brings us joy.

If we never forgive, we can't feel the relief of becoming freinds again.

If we don't mess up, we can't appoligise. We can't feel the releif of explaining, and showing kindenss where we opnce held hate.

We need negative things to have possitive.

Sure, things might suck right now, but the maximum negativity can be reached with possitivity, as long as we welcome it. As long as we keep hoping, being kind, praying, appoligising our lifes can and will get better.

Just look around you, at how happy everyone can be at times, even if things seem dire. Hospital workers, veterinarians, wildlife caretakers. Look towards the future, what promises can be brought with time. Look at the past, with people using primitive versions of today's tools and not yet blessed with today's technology. Just think about them for a moment, and how happy they are or have been. Anyone at anytime can be happy, for happiness is a mood, not an object that can be given to others. Happiness is a mindset, a perspective on life. In any situation, people can find both good and bad, it simply depends on your mental health. If such health is fractured, others will help fix it, and help you through difficult situations, but this can not happen without first agknowledging the mental state. Sometimes, such people refuse to accept help, but in reality, they may require it even more than others, so treating everyone well is required to help those who are too afraid to come out. In summary, happiness is how people see life, and can be affected by philosophies. Sometimes, such perspective can be damaged, with people requiring support, but they may refuse, requiring everyone to be treated well and with kindness.

sometimes

we think

the world

would

be easier

without us

it’s not

hard

to think,

especially

when you

feel like

no one cares

you feel

that it would

be easier

to just fade

away into

the monotony

of the system

you feel that

it would be

easier if you

were gone

no one would

have to worry

about you

any more

but that’s wrong.

you matter.

you make

a difference

in someone’s life

every day.

maybe

the shy smile

you give

the lonely girl

at the bus stop

is what

she looks

forward to

each morning.

maybe

the cashier

at your grocer’s

can’t wait

for your

weekly visit,

when

you make

small talk

about

his family,

the weather,

this and that.

maybe the

cute boy

you’ve always

been afraid

to talk to

gets excited

when he

sees you

in the halls.

maybe you

are the reason

that someone

is still living

to fight

another day.

these connections

are all

around us,

whether

we know it

or not.

even when

you are at

your darkest,

when you feel

completely and

utterly worthless,

you are touching

someone else’s life

for the better.

if they can see your worth,

why can’t you?

I'm unashamed to admit I didn't really understand "Positivity" in the social and emotional context of the polarity. I didn't even know it was a polarity like the North and South ends of a magnet at the time.. but it is, as I have learned it.

Took some seeking on my part. An unquenched desire to know was born into a #QuestForConsciousness --which is to say, I went searching for understanding in why I had violent inclinations, fantasies, desires. I wanted to know why the "Darkness" seemed so much easier to me than the "Light" and all things happy (I let others tell me how I should think and feel about things.) What the bloody hell did anyone have to be happy about, in a world such as ours, a world I only ever heard complaints about?

Today, my brain doesn't even hesitate to answer that question, "Everything."

Yes, I do mean everything, and I also recognize it is my choice to appreciate every bit of contrast I experience, observe, and even overhear through gossip I could really care less about the passing of.

I learned to take Nikola Tesla's words to heart, about thinking of the universe and everything in it as vibrations, energies, and frequencies.

Angry people have angry vibrations and are thus on totally different frequencies (wavelengths) than people who are Happy and living in happy vibrations. I couldn't help but laugh at how I remembered people telling me, or others around me, "Forget about it, we're on different wavelengths!"

It always sounded insulting to me at the time, but post-Vibrational-thinking, it makes total sense and is absolutely accurate. Angry people can't really make sense of Happy people because their frequencies are so far apart. The wavelengths don't match even remotely. They aren't vibrating for each other ... which is why violence begets violence, and happiness begets happiness... and why someone not consciously deciding to choose different thoughts/emotions, they can and will get sucked right into the same emotional vibrations as the people they are around.

I learned that Consciousness/Thought is the key to everything; most importantly, the key to how we feel at any given moment, over any given topic. It only made half-sense to me until I also learned the real difference between "Conditional" and "Unconditional" as they relate to things like love and happiness.

Conditional Love requires specific conditions, behaviors, or criteria to be met for the feeling of love to be felt.

Unconditional Love requires nothing, it is ever existing as a feeling tied directly to our infinate capacity to love.

Just incase you're not yet with me on where this is going...

Conditional Positivity/Happiness requires specific conditions, behaviors (of ourselves or others,) and or criteria to be met for the feeling of Positivity/Happiness to be felt.

Unconditional Positivity/Happiness is ever existing and tied directly to our infinate capcity to be Positive/Happy.

So, I challenge you, every you who may read this, to practice some "Unconditionals" in your life. Learn/Teach yourself how to love the opportunities to learn about yourself (what you want more of in your life) and keep your attentions there. If you can be unconditionally appreciative of the opportunity you have to evolve/live/grow/be then you'll know the most genuine and intrinstic Positivity and Happiness.

It's 100% up to you, so, what Vibration do you want?

<3 another_proser

Dear AAW,

what I'm writing may seem the most corny , syrupy , sccharine tripe , something that you don't need right now, with all the things going down.

but you DO need it.

you need to get this weet, "life is as good as you preceive it" bit, this "stop and smell the roses" gunk, becuase there isnt much else that i can write.

life is complicated,

people are brutal to each other,

the weatherf is cold,

the mud sticks to your shoes.

but.

things that you choose to see are the things that will dominate your perspective.

you can choose to look at all the filth, but you can also choose to focus on the beutiful shapes, the sounds, the tastes, and most imprtantly at the peoople who are around you and do love you.

a wise man told me once: crossing through this life, is like swimming through a river of shit. it stinks and it's not hard to see unpleasent things floating around. but if you do, you will never see the water lilies flowering.

i hate to tell you, but life doesnt get much easier when you grow up. sure, the imbacility of phisical confrontations will largly dissappear, but there will laways be jerks and bullies and cowards who stand by. finding meaning in this life will also be next to impossible, because theer isnt any real meaning. what we do doesn't really matter. it doesnt change the direction of the universe, it doesnt save the world. but meaning is something you can find for yourself.

you can find it in creating, you can find it in giving and helping, you can find it in the rush that you can get from things.

and if you're lucky, you can also find it with other people. have a family, have someone to care for. once you have that, suddenly looking for some ultra-important meaning, seems a waste of time, so does feeling sorry for yourself, and so does hating things .

so live with the hardships, find joy in love and creating things. it is not a sexy, easy thing to do, but it is he best and only thing you can do, if you want an alternative to this heavy, wretched feeling.

last bit of advice:

find humor as a solution.

we may not know how to lead our life in the best way, but we do have a way to avoid certain failures. this is our sense of humor. it is a sense that is just as important as our hearing and sight.

a humorless person is blind to absurdity, to maladjustment to reality.

whenever you see something and it seems funny in some way, it means that something is wrong.

an absurd situation is absurd, laughable because there is some veruy critical failure in logic.

even something stupid, like a guy slipping in a banana is an indication. something to learn from and avoid.

someone writing a silly pun? surly it is not funny.

it sure isn't. something is wrong with the writer's connection to our culture.

so listen to this little "radar" in your head. when it tickles, be aware of it.

Positivity always seems the better deal right?

Endings and outcomes are largely out of our control so why not be positive?

Positivity is not an assured happy outcome.

You can remain positive when all has essentially gone to shit.

You can be hopeful / positive and still be a realist.

You can be positive without being annoying and preachy.

Plus at the end of the day, no one likes to hangout with a negative nancy.

Positivity in grounded doses is important to me.

I am all for a little positivity.

It's seems that I could use some positivity myself. So this will be an attempt to cheer us both up.

When she wakes in the morning it's all dark cold and dreary. That doesn't stop her she has big dreams for herself these days. It wasn't too long ago she didn't have the privilege of getting up feeling refreshed and going out on her own. Life and brought her to a tortured place. One she knew she would get away from but how ? Poverty and lack of education and made her an easy victim. She couldn't stand up for herself against all of the others. Nobody asked Shelly what she wanted to do or go.

As time went on had she started working for the people in town doing laundry she saw a new hope. Something she hadn't dared even think about. Maybe just maybe she could learn to read and write a little bit better than she did all ready. Her imigination started to take flight when she discovered the town ran a printing press.

Her constant going around the shop and picking up mis print and torn copies to read led to a friendship. Another young lady that dilvered the coffee and sandwiches to the print shop was just as eager to learn as Shelly was.

Shelly's days began to come alive as never before.

Doing the laundry took most of her days and she had to return home to look after her dad and her new husband. All of this didn't stop her she would run to the print shop between households and grab what ever she could find. Most of what was being printed was literature about changing from agriculture to industry.

Machines were taking over the hard work that used to be put on men and women.

This fancied Shelly to no end. Her idea was to make doing the wash a whole lot easier. As she grew more confident in her own abilities not someone else's her courage was brought up. She didn't see why she needed to stay at home and cook clean and take care of her dad and new husband.

So she thought of ways to improve on the hardships of running a house. Her orginazational skills were thriving when she saved up enough money for a fridgedire. Now she could cook once a week and put everything in the freezer.

No more reason for her to rush home after work now. She could join the other ladies that were meeting at the school for committee work on improving the general conditions of life for women.

Yes Shelly's life got better. Happiness was always something she longed for. It just didn't seem possible as long as she was stuck living under all the demands of her dad. It wasn't really anything he did in particular it was just the way things were done.

Shelly maybe didn't march on the courthouse square or picket the mayor's office but she definitely took a stand in her own house.

Her marriage ended because her husband wouldn't go along with the changes women were making. So instead of continue to let him hold her back she took up an offer to help women orginize meetings put out more written information to get as many other women educated as they could.

Shelly was good at meeting people where they were and showing them how to improve their lifestyles without making them angry . It's not easy convincing someone that what they have known for years may not have been the best idea

Change was gradual Shelly didn't realize how far she had come until she saw herself sitting to lunch with a female senator. Ten years ago she thought all politicians were grumpy old men with all the opportunity to themselves.

It was in that mood that Shelly decided she had out ran her humble beginnings. Now with more growth in the work place for women. Her mind was set to write books for young women about all the good they can do. Teach children to dream big nobody can make you into something you don't want to be. Expect more and give more.

Her excitement for the reveloution didn't keep her from finding a nice gentleman. His name was Bart Rennolfs. He enjoyed her enthusiasm for making life better for families. His own mother was subjected to the same cruilties as most women. He was more than happy to come along with the uprising if these powerful women.

They met at a fundraiser for young girls who were being forced into marriage.

They started dating and Shelly didn see anything wrong with having a husband to care for just as long as she was cared for too.

Their marriage lasted for 50 some years two boys and one girl. Shelly didn't stop her work for the cause of the women. But she did take on the role of mother and wife. But with equal participation from all members of the family.

So this is how one women made a better place for herself . See an injustice and do something about it. Look at what is keeping us down and change. Find a reason to believe. Nothing is that permanent that " end of the world" situation. Make decisions that work towards what we like and want. If it bugs ya look into it see why. See what you can do.

I talk a good talk but I don't always do it. The one thing I always hang on to is.... There a way to change anything when your up against the wall with no way out. Finally had enough and boom your changing it.

Oh well. Hopefully this helps your perspective.

I find it interesting when I hear people saying that their life sucks. I'm not criticizing your choice of words. You're life very well may suck. I don't know what you're going through. Only you know that. But please know , there's different levels of suckyness. I should know. I just spent 19 years of my life in prison. I just got released from prison about 120 days ago- August 1st to be specific. I'm only 37 years old, so I'm sure that you can do the math. But you don't want to hear about my understanding of suckyness, right? You want something positive. Well, I'm happy as a stripper in a club full of rich men! You don't know how good it feels to be able to wear my own clothes. That's a simple privilege that people take advantage of everyday. I just spent 19 years being forced to wear a prison uniform: Light blue shirt, dark blue pants devoid of pockets, and brown boots that at times were excruciating to wear. It feels so good to be able to walk in to macy's and buy shirts with bright colors. It feels so good to don wide brim hats of all differnt shades and to hear people compliment me on my style. They have no idea that I just went 19 years withiout receiving a compliment on my clothing. In prison, nobody compliments you on your clothing. Probably because everyone is wearing the same uniform. How do I explain the pleasure of being able to walk freely,without being watched by prison guards with assault rifles in their hands. It feels so good to be able to hop on the transit and go to the mall just to eat lunch. In fact, the mall is so close to my house, I could walk there if I wanted to. Now of course, it'll take me 70 minutes to get there, but at least I have that option. And nobody can stop me from doing that. How do I explain the plesure of being able to eat delicious ice cream everyday of the week, just because that's what I feel like doing. How do I explain the humor of walking into an arcade for the first time in 19 years and not being able to play the video game beacause I dont know how to operate the machine. When I left society back in 2000, all I had to do was put a token in to the slot and play the game. Well fast forward 19 years into the future, where tokens have been replaced with prepaid cards. Nobody told me this. So imagine my embarassment as I couldn't figure out how to use the card for the arcade game. I figured it out by observing the kid across from me as he happily played his racing game. Speaking of kids, how good it feels to conversate with my 10 year old niece and hold my 3 year old nephew. They're not aware that I haven't been in the company of chidren in eons. When I got released from prison, I spent the first 3 monthe searching for a job. How do I explain the joy of filling out countless job applications. How do I explain the joy of receiving a job offer, but not being able to take the job because I didn't have the transportation to get the there. I began to get a little frustrated. The average person in my position probably would've contemplated committing a crime to get some fast money. I'm happy to say that those thoughts never even crossed my mind. I remained patient, and eventually I found a job. A nice little easy part time job that pays 14.50 an hour. In prison, you get paid 8 cents an hour for a full time job! So believe me, I'm ecstatic! It's not like I need a lot of money anyway right now. I don't have to pay rent or pay a mortgage. My mother is kind enough to let me live at her cozy house. I don't have any bills to pay, except for my phone bill. Speaking of phones, how awesome it is to step in to a world where the cell phone has basically become our lifeline. For example, I do my job through an app. If I lose my phone, or something happens to it, I lose my job. How awesome it is to look at facebook and watch YouTube videos. Facebook and YouTube is probably nothing new to you. But for me, It's very new. I've only had access to facebook and youtube for 120 days now. It feels so good to sleep in a big bed, in my own room, and have some privacy. In prison there's no such thing as privacy. So yea, there's different levels of suckyness. My life is modest, but damn it's great. No complaints. I mostly smile. Over these last 19 years, I've had a lot of my life sucks moments. But you don't want to hear about that, right?