I'm apartment hunting, so I'm in need of some cautionary tales. Preferably true stories, but go crazy if you're inspired.

I'm not sure if this is a new trend, but lots of challenges over the past month or two have had a "keep it clean" requirement in the description. Pick one of those challenges and enter the dirty version of your work here. Mwahahahaha! (Seriously though, I think there's value in thought-out dirty writing, whether it be sexy, gory, or downright objectionable. Why exclude something you're uncomfortable with when you could expand your repertoire as a reader?)

Battle scenes can be difficult! It's hard to avoid repetition and confusion. So show me your master-class throw down.

Tell me about your first kiss. Poetry, prose, nonfiction, imaginary, all welcome.

Tell me what time it is right now for you....without actually mentioning the literal time on the clock. Keep us (the readers) guessing!

Go to feargenerator.org and hit "Generate Fear." Find one you like, and write me a poem or short story about that fear. [If you like, you can even add your own fears to the site!]

I'll declare the winner based on word count. [Note Well: Punctuation counts! I will disqualify run-ons. If you'd like to know whether I consider your work properly-punctuated, tag me in the comments with that request.] [EDIT: Though I've received many creative entries, this challenge is meant to be taken in a literal sense!! Give me a beast of a sentence that goes on for as long as you can draw it out.]

Give me the greatest first-person hook of all time, starting with "So there I was..." Three sentences maximum.

This afternoon I contracted a terrible, horrible case of the hiccups. Please send me your most creative hiccup-cures! Poetry, prose, fiction, nonfiction, all welcome.

Smash two idioms or cliches together to get something new (Famous example: "We'll burn that bridge when we get there.") May be funny, thought-provoking, odd...

Only rule: the title itself must be longer than the actual writing. [If Prose still forces the 15-word minimum, you can bold the title and make it part of the body of the text, or place a bracketed nonsense filibuster at the bottom.]

Ever heard of it? Two criminals are caught together. They are put in separate interrogation rooms. Each is told that they can either keep quiet or rat out their partner; if both keep quiet, they'll get a mild 5 year sentence. If both rat each other out, they'll each get 10 years. Here's the kicker: if one stays silent and protects his partner, but the other turns and betrays the loyal one, the snitch walks away free and the one who kept quiet gets a life sentence. Write a prisoner's dilemma story- is there a way for everyone to walk away free? Poetry, prose, fiction, nonfiction, all good.

Oh, dear, it seems I have mixed up my homophones again! Write something that incorporates at least two of the above words. You may mention the words explicitly, or incorporate them in a more implicit, thematic way. As always, be unexpected!

Be unexpected! Poetry or prose, all good.

Give me the biggest, boldest headline to ever grace the top of a newspaper. Like any good reporter, get an interesting angle and a few killer quotes. I'm looking for excellent dialogue, however you choose to incorporate it. Tag me in the comments so I get a notification when you post!

Will you have to replace it? Are you going to forget about it by tomorrow night? Is it living a better life elsewhere? Give me a physical object that I can picture; no abstract fluff. Preferably nonfiction; poetry or prose all welcome. Tag me in the comments so I get a notification when you post!

Must be short fiction (no poetry), and please keep it PG. Want to enter your short story in an actual contest (with a monetary prize and everything)? Visit https://fsftshop.com/epages/7d6bd554-8c50-40dd-8033-0f378cf9fc9a.sf/en_US/?ObjectPath=/Shops/7d6bd554-8c50-40dd-8033-0f378cf9fc9a/Categories/Summer_Contest