Cards
Dating a master manipulator is tricky business. It's like playing a game of poker with someone who's won the championship 5 times before- and this is your first game. My first game was when I was in 8th grade. It was not his first game. Not by a long shot. He dealt up the cards and instantly the bluffing began.
A master manipulator can make five random cards look like four of a kind of kings, ace high.
A master manipulator can make your full house look like nothing more than a two pair of twos and a three random cards.
But a master manipulator can do more than cards. He can do whatever he wants to you- and he will- because he knows he can make you think otherwise.
"I would have stopped if you had said something," he'll say, claiming he's sorry.
Nevermind that you did say something. But if you say that, his retort?
"No you didn't."
Denial. Denial. Denial.
He'll deny it all. First he'll say he thought you said something else. Then he'll say you never said anything. Then he'll say you asked for it, welcomed it.
And because he is a master at telling you what to think, you doubt.
Doubt. Doubt. Doubt.
Eventually you'll doubt so much that you'll think...
what if it was my fault.
And you'll think...
I should have said something.
And years later, when you're in therapy and remember your protests, you'll scream F*CK YOU
and you'll break down.
But you'll be happier because you know it's not your fault.
It gets better.
Broken but Whole
We are not so different
You and I;
Both on this earth we are bound
And we feel lost
Mostly hoping to be found
Looking up at the sky
We dare not utter a sound
And somehow, although we are broke
And the words don't come out
And we feel as though we may choke
We know
It will show
We belong together
And our two parts
Make a whole.