My memory of a time when the night was so dark, the sun was afraid to rise
I used to drink to numb
The wound that was once my heart
I sliced my sternum at midnight
Reaching into my cavernous chest
And with the grip of my right hand trembling
I tore the flesh of you out
And drunk, I grabbed a mallet
And with its steel head I began to pound
All memories and life from the beat
Of my delicate and vital pulse
And all hope was rendered lifeless
Just rancid pieces of flaccidity remained
And like a cutlet rotten
I discarded it without a thought
Holding On
Husky coffee voice resonates,
longing hanging on the line,
grasping onto your lightning,
clinging to soul across the globe.
Crooning echoes passionately flow -
the boiling burgundy of unshed tears,
clenching teeth wanted to slip into your soul,
black wine sunset memories as I strip naked
and melt into the sultry promise of you.
Together, we are shadows in the setting sun
walking our long road into the starry night,
nestled in each other’s minds, breathing
life into soft words, our love cushioned
in thoughts of you swimming lazily
in my essence, bathing in my stillness,
and I hold onto your voice until you return.
It’s Not Okay
Red glow of heat
suck it in
flick ashes
burning tobacco
cinders into your soul
it’s okay, it’s all right
you’re hooked
addiction to your brim
seeps in – puffs of smoke
it’s okay, it’s all right
cigarette companies
promise it’ll be better
just use light ones
the special filters
it’s okay, it’s all right
don’t admit
it will kill you
in little pieces
dribbles of life
seeping away
inhaling your breath
it’s okay, it’s all right
can’t breathe
cancer cells creeping
hearts attacking
chronic bronchitis
companies never
admitting fault
free samples
hook the young
send them on down
the road
to tobacco addiction
it’s okay, it’s all right
more addictive
than crack or cocaine
make that money
tote that bale
watch them drop
like flies
it’s okay, it’s all right
untruths fly by
above your head
kills you dead
but slowly
insidious death
taps on window
you’ll never know
what hit you
Watch your
loved ones
slip away
tobacco stain
reminders
of fatal mistake
lies, lies, lies
cigarette makers-
you lied
loved ones died.
It’s not okay
It’s not all right!
Soulmates
Molten bodies melding,
fused in melody
only we can hear.
Burnished diamonds
of evening vault
rising as one
in reborn sky.
Passion painting
our souls,
limbs strengthening
when we tumble.
Gazes bound together
with silken thread.
Gossamer paper
wrapped tenderly
around hearts
in deep cobalt shadows
of dusk, pulsing.
Endless ecstasy
of seared skin
from before
time was born.
born to run
she has never broken a bone
but sometimes she wonders
if that's less painful
when it comes to this
(whatever this is)
this slight needle digging between
her ribs
she thought this would be
different
all her dreams were
possible
she could do
anything
but it wasn't true
someone lied to her
everyone lied to her
she lied to
herself
she knew she would pretend
as if she had changed
or the world had
changed
how could she let this happen
again
how could she
(how dare she)
dream
and hope
when she was already drowning
already burning
disintegrating
breaking
what is she even doing
here
does she belong
here
she doesn't belong
here
she doesn't belong
anywhere
she doesn't know where to run
and she's run for hours and
hours and
centuries
but everything looks the same
in the dark
voices
Isn't that funny? I thought I wasn't afraid of anything. I'm afraid of a bathroom scale.
I never liked math, numbers. Numbers share your secrets. "What size are you?" and people suddenly know you. They know you have no restraint or discipline. They know you're lazy. They know that you behave and follow the rules because "at least she's nice" is all you have. You don't have the leeway that a slim waist and high cheekbones afford.
I know. I know why. It's not their fault that they treat you this way. It's human nature. After all, it's human nature. Forgive them. You have to. They told you to.
It was your fault. Don't forget, it was your fault. You're the one to blame. It's your body, your mistake, your flaws. You have control and you let go. Why did you let go? You let yourself stumble and you didn't get up. No one had to help.
You were too weak. Why did you lose control? You must be too weak.
Why should I? Why didn't I? No, don't help me. I'm strong. I can stand up, I can fix this. I'm fine. I said, I'm fine. Leave me alone.
Why won't anyone help me?