10/14/17

If I placed my bare feet into the sinking sands

or dove into the deepest trench of the oceans,

Would I find my soul in the midst of it all?

If I rested upon the back of an eagle

and laid my head down

could it still soar into the heavens

with the burdens that I cast on?

My heart longs to find the place where it comes from,

but everything I turn to, turns its back on

Relentlessly I search through the forests of time,

Combing through the branches all day and all night long.

but every place I go to,

the winds whisper: you don't belong.

Life is dreary

But I am not your character

Leaping from the pages of your mastermind

I'm not ready to withstand what obstacles you place before me.

But still your darkness wraps itself around me,

And tries to pull me into the portal of your cruel imagination.

Love: it has taken hostage of me. 

It tells me if I don't give in, 

it will torment and haunt me for all of eternity.

Nonetheless, my aching soul waits determinedly

for that ransom to come in at last and set me free,

But if there is anything Love has taught me,

it is that it has always been there for me.

So maybe Love isn't the enemy, 

for it is you who allowed me to believe that Love would damage me.

07/25/17

I used to dream

my dreams out loud,

But when I'm up,

I can't touch the clouds

And maybe that's

just what it's about

Because I can't float,

I stand on ground.

Lost in shadows where fear has taken captive of me,

Forever in bondage by my failures and my iniquities.

The way I see it, my hopes will forever remain worthless dreams,

And I’ll never be free of the burdens my life has given to me.

In mornings, I sing songs of fortune and opportunity,

But who am I to kid, I am a fool way beyond my means.

Then nights, it casts the reality I’ve begged my soul not to see,

And the tiresome body that holds me together

Falls apart into three.

Leaving all that's left of me:

My empty soul, my torn mind and my lifeless body.

She was drowning

in her sea of tears.

Arms flailing,

desperately trying to grasp

the salty water

only to find it slipping through her already prune fingers.

She was losing it.

Falling deeper and deeper

into the abyss of her raging ocean.

She wasn't going to make it.

There was no way for her to get out.

There was no way for her to breathe.

They say,

"Trust me."

But trust is miles away.

They plead.

Promising me their love

and protection.

But I know they're the abusers,

they say they are not.

My heart is severely fractured.

Hear it barely beating?

Sometimes I wonder,

if it's even there,

if I am still breathing.

Despair climbing walls rapidly.

Enveloping its way into my core,

burning each bridge

as it takes the breath out of me.

Exhaustion seeping through.

The thought of salvation,

tormenting and unlikely.

Who am I to have an eternal desire?

To be awakened from this nightmare,

And be held safely like a dear child.