Jesus Saves
It was a rainy spring morning, I was 17. As I climbed into the passenger seat of our rusty 1987 Toyota 4runner, I noticed the tires were quite bald. This wasn’t a worried observation just an observation... I knew we couldn’t afford new tires. My Dad puts on his seatbelt (he never usually wore though) and starts up the old beast she ran like a champ despite “her” age. “She” was the top of line machinery in 1987 though... 4 speed manual transmission, 4 cylinder engine (that had every bit as much power as a 6 or even 8 cylinder) tachometer, lift-kit, roll bar, sunroof, and all the bells and whistles.
I remember looking at my Dad in his painter whites, thinking, “He is going to work? Why am I going with him?” So, I try to start up a conversation with him and ask the plan for the day but got no response. “That’s odd. He must be in bad mood today.” I thought to myself.
So, I continue to ride along with him in silence... still confused as to why I would be riding to work with him. As we drove down the winding road we came to a hill that had a sharp curve at the end with a 50 foot embankment on the other side of it. The combination of the wet conditions, bald tires, with no anti-lock brakes my dad lost control. The truck rolled and rolled I don’t even know how many times and we were upside-down flying down the embankment.
Slam-bang my bedroom door closed from the gusts cross breeze of my step-mom heading out the front door. I awaken to realize it was just a dream. “Thank God! It was just a dream!” I thought, wiping my crusties off my eyes.
Then I hear my step-mom running down the hall frantically. She had forgotten her keys. I jumped up from my bed sensing something was wrong. I stopped her in the hallway. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” I stuttered fearing her response. “Your Dad was in an accident!!” She cried. ‘My dream... it was REAL!’ I thought to myself. I hugged my step-mom, we were both teary eyed. I told her a few quick details of my dream as she was in a hurry. I will never forget how she looked at me when I told her, it was a look with a combination of disbelief and fear. Still shocked from what I had told her, she quietly said, “I gotta go.” And out the door she went.
The next two and half hours felt like an eternity, waiting to hear if my Dad was alright. My dream played over and over again in my head. I thought, ‘If he was in the accident in my dream he is definitely hurt... or worse?!?!’ I couldn’t help but feel somehow responsible. ‘Could I have stopped it? If I woke up sooner... I could’ve warned him. Or maybe it happened because I dreamt it? I don’t have that “power”... or do I? Is it my fault?’ I thought. I felt helpless and scared as I sat there on my bed pondering my role in this accident.
I heard the front door open. I was nervous to hear the news. My heart started racing as I jumped up and ran to the door. There was my step-mom and MY DAD!!! He was okay... a few scrapes and bruises but OKAY! Tears of joy and relief streamed down my face and I hugged him like I never hugged him before. “I love you, Daddy. I was so worried.” I whispered in his ear. “I love you, too baby.” he said.
I sat there listening to his account of the accident and it was as though he were reciting the dream I had.... minus me in the passenger seat. So, I decided I had to tell him about my dream. He was not shocked or alarmed by what I had said, as my step-mom had been... it was almost as though he were comforted by it, maybe even expected it. See, my dad has always thought I was “special” or more intuitive than others. I don’t think I am special... I just think God wanted me “in” that truck that day.
Now if you remember I woke up right as the truck was going off the embankment. My dream wasn’t what was amazing or miraculous in this story. What happened After is miraculous!
“I never wear my seatbelt. I don’t know why I did today but I did. I thought for sure I was a goner.” He said solemnly. He knew himself it was nothing short of a miracle and God made sure he knew it, too. As Dad was recalling the moments after the accident he started to tear up as he said to me, “After I got out of the truck, upside down at the bottom of the cliff, I reached in my pocket. My wallet, putty knife, other tools and even my coins were gone spread out across the road... the only thing left in my pocket was the cross you gave me.” I cried as realized just how much of a miracle this really was... the only thing left in his pocket was a cheap metal cross that had the words ‘JESUS SAVES’ written acrossed it..
Wrath
To the man I used to love the most,
You ripped out my heart,
and made me a ghost.
To the man who promised to always be there,
you've left me questioning...
"Did you ever really care?"
To the man I thought was my soul mate,
you stomped on my my heart,
and filled me with hate.
To the man who asked me to be his wife, you've hurt me so badly,
that I'm scarred for life.
To man I thought it would be 'til death do we part,
you tore open my chest,
and chewed up my heart.
To the man who fathered my beautiful child, you murdered my faith,
and left me defiled.