Fallout
Her heart was as big
as all the galaxies combined.
Her passion and her grit
condense and sublime.
She'd always put her heart
into everything she does.
She gives you her all;
her tears, sweat, and blood.
She does this for people
in hopes they'd do the same:
to give their heart to anyone
who needs it in many little ways.
But the world just decided
her heart was too big for their arms;
too heavy to carry;
It didn't quite fit the norm.
So the world simply told her
that this cannot be.
She basically didn't fit in
in society.
She kept her heart to herself
so she'd feel like she belonged,
carrying all the weight
inside her all along.
And when she couldn't anymore take it,
she set her heart free.
It shattered into fragments
pulled down by gravity.
With the weight of her heart
and the strength of the blow,
the whole world watched
as an enraged storm grows.
What was left of her heart
after the storm was drought
and little specks of dust
entangled in the fallout.
Untitled
She's got scars on her heart
and clouds in her head,
a glimmer in her eyes
with a tear to shed.
She had diamonds in her hair
which she'd stare at in dread
because all she sees in the mirror
is dry coal instead.
Her dreams and her demons
were unfearfully wed,
so she sleeps with a gun
right next to her bed.
She left a note on the table
all scribbled in red.
What it says is how badly
she wants herself dead.
Dream
When the dreamer dies, what happens to the dream?
Does it vanish?
Does it stay?
Does it float up up and away?
Does it fly up to the clouds
and plant tiny seeds of hope?
Or does it stay on the ground,
and travel far across the globe.
When a dreamer dies, the dream lives on.
It takes the form of words written on prose,
of gobs of paint artistically splashed on a canvas,
of the beautiful melody you hear in a song.
A dream doesn't die.
A part of it stays.
A dreamer immortalizes it
in so many ways.
When People Look at Me
When people look at me
they see lip tremors and shaky hands,
restless feet and clinking knees
that either stiffen or bend.
They see lost eyes
searching for all the right words.
They see a timid face
with a voice too soft a whisper to be heard.
Some would see an overconfident woman,
a person of high esteem
who probably thinks she's better
than all of those on her team.
Others would see my fashionably peculiar clothes,
never at par with the latest trends.
They see someone who dresses
oddly different from her friends.
But not even once they have seen me
as gentle, caring, and kind.
Not even once they have seen me
for who I am inside.
They see someone unfriendly,
tough, unkind, hostile.
They have never seen me
as someone who's worthwile.
When people look at me,
they could list a hundred flaws,
but only a handful
would see past the walls.
Sun
I wake up with a ray of light
as it hits the glass window,
light from a celestial fireball in the sky,
shining, blazing, scorching yellow.
The light lets me see
how beautiful the world is,
how the wind blows the leaves of trees,
and how a face lights up with youthful bliss.
The sun, ever so radiant,
with its saffron hue,
lights up my whole world,
just like you do.
How to Write a Suicide Note
If you're planning suicide, you should definitely read this. This is your complete and correct guide in writing the perfect suicide note.
1. Get a good writing pen, and a nice piece of paper, maybe specialty paper to make it more emotional. But I suggest that you prepare several sheets. This will be long. VERY LONG.
2. Start off with a greeting, like all letters do, like "To whom it may concern" or "Dear John", or whatever you like.
3. This is the real deal. This is the part when you begin writing. Do NOT start your letter with the typical "By the time you read this, I might be dead. Don't try to stop me." It will sound cliché. You don't want that, do you?
4. Try starting your note by writing down memories. You want to be remembered, right? You want your death to make sense. So first, write something about your childhood. Maybe something about your favorite toy or the pet dog you really wanted to adopt. Write down memories like the time your mom took you to the zoo or the time when your dad brought home your favorite chocolate cake. Try to remember how hapy you were as a child, how carefree you were, how perfect life seemed.
5. Then continue your note by writing about school. Write about the pranks you played on your friends or the times you'd imitate your teachers whenever their backs are turned. You could even write about this cute guy you liked back in third grade. Remember the days when you loved going to school because of all the wonderful people there.
6. Write about your best friends, how you love them, how much they mean to you, how much you're grateful for having them in your life.
7. Write about your brothers and sisters (that is, if you have any). Write about the countless times you enjoyed playing with them, wrestling them, and fighting over the remote. Write about how lucky you are to be their sibling.
8. Now think about your parents, all the love they have for you, whether or not you felt it. All the hard work. All the days you spent with them. All the good memories you made. Think about your mom carrying you in her womb. Think about the pain she endured during your birth. Think about your dad working late at night for you. Think about all the sacrifices they've done to keep you alive.
9. Think about the people who committed suicide. Write about how they have ended their lives without realizing their purpose in this world and the importance of life itself. Write about how they've hurt the people who love them. Write about how awful it must have been to not be strong enough, to choose to die rather than face their fears.
10. Try to see yourself. Your life. Your decisions. Your attempt for suicide. Write about why you want to die. List down everything even if it could go on more than a hundred reasons why. Write about how the people who love you would feel when you leave this world, and how they would deal with the loss.
Your note ends here. Now keep this note in your drawer. Go outside and appreciate the world's beauty. Whenever you feel sad or hurt, take out your "suicide note" and read it. That's your life. See its beauty. See its vibrance and uniqueness. Your life doesn't have to end at the period of the last sentence you wrote there. You can choose to continue writing and see that theres more in store for you.
Someone
I wanted someone
who could give me the moon
in all its beauty and radiance,
and I would definitely swoon.
I wanted someone
who'd reach the stars for me
and tell me I am one of them,
and I would believe.
I wanted someone
who sees the world as I do;
Every teardrop is a waterfall
and every sunset blue.
You did not give me the stars,
not even the moon.
You gave me nothing I wanted,
but still, I wanted you.
An open letter to my “best friend”
I know that the past weeks have been hard for you.
It has been quite hard for me too.
I have just received the most shocking news--
that I am hurting you.
For the record, never have we ever spoken--
Maybe once or twice, that's all.
We only talked about some school stuff,
that's what I recall.
Never have I ever wronged you.
I didn't care a thing about what you do.
Maybe it's about my personality?
I didn't have a clue.
It's funny how I feel sorry
when I shouldn't really be.
I haven't done anything
to make you feel that gloomy.
I know your life is hard,
and you're battling your inner demons.
But it's not my fault you couldn't handle it
when life gives you lemons.
It's not my fault you don't like me.
It's not my fault I make you sad.
You know I try my best to be nice to you,
but somehow I still make you feel bad.
It's not my fault you have insecurities.
We all have them too.
But there are people who don't make a fuss out of it,
unlike what you do.
It's not my fault we aren't friends--
You didn't want to in the first place.
It could've been lovely if we were.
It could've been lovely in so many ways.
But just because you're suffering,
doesn't mean you get to treat people like shit.
It doesn't excuse you from understanding
other people who are struggling in every little bit.
Just because you're depressed,
it doesn't give you the right to make me feel bad.
It doesn't give you the right to ruin my reputation,
everything I worked for, and everything I ever had.
Please don't use your situation against me,
because that's not how things are supposed to work.
You go on, pick yourself up, give a good fight,
without leaving other people hurt.
The Day You Lost Your Battle
The day you lost your battle,
I tried to hold back tears.
You were strong, and persevering,
and all the more very deserving to live.
The day you lost your battle,
I had my hopes in my lowest low.
You were my pillar, my rock, my strength,
But I saw all that crumble, collapse, and eventually go.
The day you lost your battle,
I couldn't believe what I heard.
You were always there to lift my spirits up,
and now you're not there, not anymore.
The day you lost your battle,
I told myself you had a good fight.
You were all set and ready to leave us,
although I wasn't quite.
Yourself
I want you to know
that amidst those flaws,
blemishes,
scars,
and insecurities,
you are
and always will be
beautiful.
I want you to know
that even if it hurts,
even if you cry,
shout,
curse,
and break down,
you are
and always will be
strong.
I want you to know
that amidst your misfortunes,
problems,
failures,
and setbacks,
there is
and always will be
a miracle.
I want you to know
that sometimes life doesn't treat you right,
that you'd want to stop,
end this,
hurt yourself,
and just give up.
But there is
and will always be
a reason to live.
I want you to know
that you have to hold your head up
and trust yourself,
give yourself a chance,
believe in your potential,
and love yourself,
because there is not,
and will never be
a person
who'd love you
more than you should
love
yourself.