Toilet Paper
Throughout the ages of time, great events have taken place, like the advent of toilet paper. Time is uncontrollable, yet steady. It is stubborn. Sometimes, I wish it would slow down and other times I wish it would speed by. I hardly ever want it to go at the pace it actually does, so I have never felt love for it during the moment. Time often fills me with dread as I see taunting deadlines dancing before my eyes or I think about what I should have done in the past. However, when I think about time as a whole, I realize how much it has taught me. The world has changed so much throughout the ages of time. Time tells the truest and greatest story of all.
School Shootings
The United States has the highest rate of school shootings when compared with every other country. This needs to change. The Founding Fathers gave people the right to own firearms so that they could rise up against an unjust government. However, in modern times, the government has nukes and missiles that would be extremely tough for firearms to beat. Furthermore, firearms are being used in school shootings, a horrifying mutation of what the American ancestors wanted. Perhaps people can sacrifice the safety they find in guns for the sake of the safety of their children?
How to Deal with Your Greatest Fear for Free!
1. Don't think about it, just literally knock yourself out. Side effects may include redness, swelling, and headache. Overuse may result in stupidity. Do not use if greatest fear is knocking yourself out.
2. Make fun of someone with the same fear. Remember that everyone has a fear. If someone doesn't, that person is stupid and possibly overused Tip #1. Remind yourself that someone has a worse fear than you. For example, a fear of cheese, mothers, mirrors, and/or knocking yourself out.
3. If all else fails, contact Batman. He can do many things, including sawing off the legs of your bedframe so that no monsters can get underneath the bed.