Inhale. Breath stirred my long sleeping lungs, and with it, my eyes opened. I held the air in for too long, scared to let it go in case I could not will it to return. Eventually, my body forced me to release it, and I waited for a breathless moment, terrified that my lungs would never expand again. I took another deep breath, tears springing to my eyes as I filled my chest with life once more, at once new and familiar.

The tears slipped down my face, and the sensation of them filled me with joy. I could feel my heart pumping the blood through my body, awakening my limbs for me. I stretched, running my hands over the warm curves of my arms and legs. How good it felt to live! Did I appreciate it this much when it was all I did?

My overwhelming exhilaration faltered for a moment as my brain warmed up, stretching and probing like a waking cat. I suddenly had the sense to wonder where I was. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. Dark, but not completely. Faint light illuminated the smooth walls of a cave, pewter grey and unnaturally even. Unnatural… man-made?

I was laying on my back on what seemed to be a bed of stone. A dress draped loosely over my legs. It was a thin and gauzy thing, doing little to keep me warm. A dress intended for the dead. Fortunately, the cave was not cold, and even my gradually warming body was comfortable.

The dress was a very particular color. I knew there was a name for it, and I knew that name meant something to me. I lifted the fabric, bringing it closer to my eyes. Lavender. That was the color. An image flitted before me, of a morning sky, just before the sun has risen. The dress matched that delicate greyish purple precisely. The color, the memory, made my heart swell.

Suddenly, another thought, a single word, barged into my mind: Eli. And again and again and again. Eli Eli Eli Eli. I have to get to Eli. Dark hair, a kind smile, dark grey eyes that say to me, “I love you.” Eli.

I bolt upright and push myself to the floor. My legs protest only for a moment before I’m moving, turning, searching for a way out. A door behind me, I hurtle through it.

Eli.

A maze of corridors, dark but with smooth floors and that ever present ambiguous light.

Eli.

My bare feet slapping stone, me having no time to savor the pain that means life as I run to him.

Eli.

I have to get out. I run and run, letting my instincts guide me.

Eli.

Sunlight, pausing me for only a second as I squint. I slow my pace, urging my eyes to hurry up and adjust. I lift my gaze and see a group of people. Recognition flickers in the back of my mind, but I ignore it.

“Eli?” I shout, ask, plead.

A few of them point, some say, “that way!” I run in the direction they pointed me in, trusting them.

Eli.

I race down a path of packed Earth, between hills decorated with wildflowers. The mountain at my back, from which I emerged, is ignored. I have to get to him. To Eli.

And then he is there. Just ahead of me. I sprint to him desperately. I shout his name, “Eli!” He looks up and freezes.

My steps slow, and I stop a few paces from him. His eyes do not say, “I love you,” rather, “is it you?”

“Eli,” I whisper. “It’s me.”

Something in those eyes changes, opening, and I rush to him, enfolding myself into his arms. Eli. My Eli. My grey-eyed, straight-nosed, smiling-mouthed Eli.

“I waited,” he says into my hair, and his arms gather me closer.

I hold back tears as best as I can. “I love you. I know little else, but I know that. I love you, Eli.”

His breath, his voice against my ear. “I love you. You will remember.”

But right then I did not care about remembering. I had Eli. That was all that mattered.

Selene and I had been best friends since we were born, literally, as we liked to say. Born on the same day and on the same street, our mothers felt it reasonable to arrange play dates between us. Together we grew up and never apart. Selene lived in a massive, Victorian style house, full of turret like rooms and twisting back staircases. As kids we loved to explore it, running through the hallways pretending to be adventurers in a strange new land.

One night, maybe seven years into our friendship, we were poking around in the attic. Behind a musty, rolled up carpet we discovered a door, previously hidden from us. As we stood before the door, little Selene turned to me and said very solemnly, “Behind this door is a vast, unexplored, world. As the greatest adventurers of all time it is our duty to-” I giggled at that point, and her composure almost broke, but she managed to continue in an even tone. “Sterling, we must explore this new land. We are the only ones qualified to do so. Are you ready?”

I nodded as seriously as I could, but my attempt at a serious frown dissolved into laughter, only made funnier by trying to stop it. In seconds we were both rolling on the floor giggling, and it took us a few moments to regain composure and carry on with our ‘mission.’

The two of us again stood before the door and nodded to each other seriously. At a gesture from Selene, I dramatically pulled the door open, unused hinges protesting gently. A set of spiral stairs sat behind the door, reaching up into impenetrable darkness. Selene, always the leader, marched through the door and began the ascent, and I followed close behind. We climbed for what felt like hours, Selene marching on without complaint, me just trying not to fall too far behind. At the top of the stairs was another door. Selene opened it without hesitation, but we both froze at what lay beyond.

It was blue, eternal blue stretching as far as the eye could see. A blue so dark it was nearly black, the blue of the midnight sky. Floating among the blue were tiny little orbs of light, reminding me of the faeries painted in my story books. More than just a color, but not quite physical. It felt like nothing of this world, it felt like another world entirely.

Transfixed, I stepped past Selene into the blue. Although the bottom of the blue didn’t look like a floor, I walked on it as easily as though it were a carpet. I turned back to Selene in delight. “Come on!” I beckoned, and she stepped out onto the blue carefully, hesitantly. Seeing that it held, we walked out on it together, touching the little orbs and musing at what this place could possibly be. We left after maybe an hour, and agreed not to tell our parents incase they forbade us from ever going there again. Neither of us knew what the place was, but we didn’t think too much on it. We continued to sneak up there as often as we could, to take a stroll through what we’d decided to call the Sky. As time passed our visits there were less frequent, and we eventually abandoned the Sky altogether. Different things began to take priority in our lives, such as schoolwork and boys and cars. Magic wasn’t real to us anymore, and the magic of our Sky was forgotten.

Eleven years later…

Selene and I sat in the attic of her house, leaning against the wall.

“You know, I’ll only be a two hour drive away,” she reminded me. I nodded, glancing down at my hands.

“Yeah. I know.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes more.

“Sterling?” she asked.

I glanced over at her. She wasn’t looking at me, rather at an unassuming door nestled into the corner of the wall opposite us.

“Do you remember the Sky?” Selene asked softly.

It took me a moment to realize which sky she meant. With the realization came a half-forgotten memory of an impossibly blue world. “What even was that place?” I asked.

Selene turned to face me, her face mock serious. “One that we never finished exploring,” she replied, the barest hint of a smile showing through her composure. Selene jumped to her feet, full of that infectious vivacity. She stretched out a hand to me, an invitation.

“Selene, I really don’t feel like…” I began, but stopped when I saw the expression on her face. Her eyes shone like stars, her excitement bubbling over the doubt and reluctance she had been showing recently. I sighed and took her hand, pushing myself off the ground with my other hand. We approached the door with our fingers intertwined and I reached to open it. The spiral staircase stood there just as it had before, curling up and up, although not quite so far up as our memories had painted it. Selene smiled at me and started up the stairs, practically bouncing from step to step. I followed less enthusiastically, but I’d never been immune to her excitement. As we climbed, the thoughts of her impending departure slid further back into my mind, unnoticed.

When we reached the top of the staircase we both paused and looked at each other. Selene still had that entrancing smile on her face.

“Would you like to do the honors?” she asked, gesturing to the door. Something inside me, a wall built up over the years, softened and broke, and I smiled back. I reached for the unremarkable wooden door, pushing it open gently. We stepped inside slowly, and I felt all the hope and excitement that I’d gathered fall away.

A room, wholly unremarkable save for the fact that it was entirely blue. Blue carpet, blue ceiling, blue walls… but not the mystical, magical place of our childhood. I dared a glance at Selene and saw my own feeling of disappointment mirrored on her face. She looked at me and I caught the glimmer of tears welling in her eyes, the hope built within them faded away. I looked away. I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear the weight of reality settling around my neck. I could not simply look down, to see the reality of the carpet beneath my feet. This was a place of joy and magic and youth, and I would not let the world take it from me.

I took Selene’s hand, and she looked at me, eyes questioning. I placed a smile on my face, urged a wondering light into my eyes. “It’s just like when we were little,” I said, and I put every scrap of awe I could muster into my tone. I let my imagination run wild, nudging and encouraging Selene to see it the way we had when we were children, to reclaim some of that unadulterated joy. As I pointed out stars and patterns, I saw the light return to Selene’s eyes little by little. She joined me in my make-believe at last, and we played together like children, the outside world of papers and deadlines forgotten.

After playing for hours, we ended up laying on the floor together. The unwaveringly blue surroundings imbued me with a sense of calm that had been hard to find recently. I settled my hands on my stomach, staring contentedly upwards. I glanced over to see Selene lying with her arms stretched up behind her head, a look of unspoiled contentment on her face. She looked over to me and smiled with a brilliance that illuminated the room, and I smiled back before turning back to our magical Sky. We lay there together all night, enjoying the end of our childhood in silent companionship.