I feel like I don’t belong a lot. I feel like I was better off where I was before. Everyone liked me. Everyone knew me. It’s weird going from that to constantly being in the background watching others live the life you once enjoyed. I’m not saying I want to be the center of attention here. I’m way too shy to want that. I just miss my home a lot. I come from a place that isn’t “good”, but it was the best thing I’ve ever had. When you live in the place everyone seems to be afraid of, you meet the most interesting people. We all knew each other so well. And then there were the people who I knew had horrible lives. The ones I wish I could help with every ounce of me. My next door neighbor’s kids were always outside. Their parents never watched them or anything. In the morning, their dad would leave for work, and their mom would tell them to go outside. They wouldn’t go back in until their dad came home at the end of the day. I felt like they were always being rushed to the emergency room. The boy who was around my age and I knew very well was always getting hurt. I remember the time he burnt his hand on the stove. He got third-degree burns from that. His hand looked awful for months afterword. His sister was younger than us, but I still spent a lot of time with her. The biggest thing I remember from her was that it seemed like she was always falling down the stairs. The last time I can recall, she cut her head open doing it. She never said why she was always falling down the stairs. I’ve come up with theories, but I will never know for sure. There was the boy that lived on the street behind me. His mother never took care of them, and one day, when he was only in elementary school, his little baby sister died from not being fed. Then there was the boy who said he loved me. His dad was in jail. He never opened up about why, but he said he would be there until we were in college, so I know it can’t be anything good. There were also my neighbors across the street. Both their children were older than me, so I never really spent time with them, but my mom had their daughter in class. She said she was the sweetest girl she had ever met. I still remember the night that the sound of fire truck’s sirens pulled me from my bed. Her brother had set their house on fire. Everything they owned was gone. I remember seeing her with her face hidden, sitting on the grass in front of my house in my mother's arms. I hope I will never know what it feels like when you lose everything because of someone you love.

I have endless amounts of these stories. No, they are not pretty. Yes, I would love to go back in time before any of these things happened and fix them all. But I can’t. Now, I can just feel an overwhelming love for my hometown. There are so many brave souls there. Not one of the people I previously mentioned told the whole school about what happened. I had to find out from my mom or if they just opened up to me one-on-one. How scary must it be when you have to go to school each day knowing your own father has done something horrible and have no one to talk to about it because you don’t want anyone to know. If I hadn’t been told, I would have never known anything was wrong. How awful must it be when you are in second grade, and everyone is making cards for fathers day, and you don’t know when the next time you will see your dad will be. You don’t know if your father even deserves a card from you. But you have to smile and laugh along with the other kids because they can’t know.

That doesn’t happen as much where I am now. There are exceptions, of course, but I’m sure there are everywhere. I miss our falling down schools which have so much mold, the doctor told my mom if she kept working there, it wouldn’t be long before she died. I miss the park at the end of my street where I would ride my bike, and play, and watch the older kids with their long hair and black jeans that it seemed they never bothered to pull up all the way. I miss driving through the center of the city where all the businesses were. Most of them are abandoned now. My home is falling apart as much as I am. I was always fascinated by the people around me wherever I went. Now, there are jerks and stuck up girls running my school. There, it was the kids who needed it. It was the people who only got fed at school. The ones who came just because there was heat in the winter. We all knew and loved each other even though we all knew that we were hiding something. We ignored that some of us were more fortunate than others. I’m sure there are so many people who I was close to, and never knew the horrors hiding behind their smiles. My biggest secret? I love my friends now. I love all the people I am close with now, but I miss where I was. Although I wish I could bring them all with me and show them that my home is better than they all think, I would move back by myself in a second. This is how I realize that the reason I stay away from most people here is that they are always mad, and they don’t know what a real problem is. That’s why my friend group is so limited. I hate the people who think they are facing the greatest problem anyone has ever known when the boyfriend they didn’t even care about breaks up with them. Now, I am torn. Do I love my new friends or my old home more? What would I choose if given the chance to go back? I guess it doesn’t really matter. My parents would never allow me to go back there. They don’t understand how much I loved it there or how mean people are to me here. So, I’m stuck. Maybe someday I will know if it’s a good or bad thing.

I have this fear under my skin

I can't reach it,

I can't scratch it

it's just there,

sometimes it subsides

so I barely notice it

and on other days it fills me up

crippling my thoughts

freezing my heart

and slowing my movements,

I can't touch it

but I can sense it,

I know exactly where it is

it hides at the back of my throat

slides down my back

and lands in my stomach

it's a mover

it never sits still

vibrating and expanding

it makes me scared

as it should

for that is its sole purpose

it's not motivating

it doesn't want to make me whole,

I always had it

it's always with me

never leaving, never letting me go

and now it's got worse

with my loss,

with a new missing piece

as if my void had once again expended

moved and shifted,

I worry because of it

I never know if it's real,

or just pretense

does it mean anything

or is it just "my thing"

it pains me, it makes me shiver

shedding tears out of hopelessness

that I often feel...

but at times it fades

and I forget, smiling despite it all

good souls around me

giving me hope...

but today I just needed to let it go

so it falls off my chest,

because it's been circling around me

and demanded my attention,

so in this moment

I let it go

I let it fly,

so it no longer chokes me

and freezes my touch

it will return

for it is a part of life

but for now, I'm letting it go

...........................................................................

Well, the beautiful red-head thought, staring at her laptop, this facebook thing has been going on for quite a while, now. I guess it's high time I got an account, so I can see what all the raving is about. Into the browser, she typed 'facebook.com' and after what seemed a lifetime, but was really only a couple of seconds, she was greeted with the social site's home page.

"Create An Account", the screen said, so she typed in her information. Under 'first name', she dutifully typed, "Hera" and then paused a moment, wondering what to type in under 'last name'. After a moment of thought, she typed in "Famila". Where the screen requested her 'mobile number or email', she put in "GoddessofallH@Olympus.org" and where her password should go, she filled in "no1shal1defy.M3", then paused again at the next box.

"Birthdate?" she asked herself. Of course she knew it, but she didn't want to reveal her real age and what did they know, anyway? She pursed her ruby red lips, then selected "Jan 1, 1990". It's not like they'd actually check the information and if they did, so what? It wasn't like they could really do anything. Next, she selected, "Female" - as if there was any doubt! - and clicked on "Create Account". After another brief moment, the screen asked for her to verify her email address. She skipped it and found herself looking at a page that requested she 'Add Friends'. Skipping that option, as well, she found herself being asked for yet more information!

"Good Olympus", she sighed, impatiently. Skipping the first two sections - 'Search your email for friends already on Facebook' and 'Get to know your privacy settings' - she decided to respond to the third request, the one asking for a Profile picture. Of COURSE all of this facebook should know what she looks like, she smirked, then selected a lovely picture of herself in evening wear, taken from this past spring's Lightning Gala.

This time when she was greeted with 'Add people you know', she figured she should, so she could show herself off to all of her family and friends; wouldn't they all be surprised to see she'd finally gotten herself a facebook page?! Scrolling the list, she was stopped short when she saw the name 'Zeus'.

Wait! Her breathing increased. No, no. It couldn't be. Zeus couldn't have a facebook account! He hadn't told her that he had one. Of course, since when did that man know anything about openness and honesty? In their last therapy session, he'd actually tried to say that he really did want a relationship of transparency and mutual respect! She'd almost gagged then and now, her mouth threatened to overflow with vomit.

She clicked the 'Add Friend' button and was told her request had been sent. Not willing to wait, she clicked on his name - "Zeus Bolten" - and found herself looking at a page that looked like it was created by GQ. His personal page had a huge picture of himself at the top and in small print, under his name, it said, "Friend to All". Friend to all, indeed! Wasn't that just the problem? He had way too many "friends!" Scrolling down, she found more pictures of him. The uppermost one showed him in his tennis gear, holding a racket, his brown hair perfectly styled and his clear hazel eyes smiling at the camera. Then underneath the picture, she saw several symbols. She'd heard about the infamous 'Like' button from friends and it looked like several people had liked that picture. Right beside the little thumb icon, it said, "Eros and 17 others". She clicked on the line and saw a list of all those who had 'Liked' this particular picture.

Reading through, she got angrier and angrier. "Demeter?!...DEMETER likes his picture?! That BITCH!" she shrieked, spittle flying from her mouth. "As if she hasn't done enough, having that little Persephone brat! And now she's liking my husband's facebook pictures?!" Incensed, she grabbed a mug off her desk and threw it against the wall, the sound of shattering porcelain music to her ears.

Turning back to the screen, she continued looking at the list of likers. "Alcmene?...Danaë?...Dione?!" Thoroughly enraged, she stood up, knocking her chair down in the process. "What the fuck is THIS shit?!...He's got all his fuckin' babies mamas on his damn page, liking his pictures, now!" Pacing back and forth, her green eyes glared everytime they landed on the screen.

"Honey", she mimicked in a male voice, "they meant nothing to me; it just happened!" Switching back to her own voice, she answered, "How the fuck can it just happen?! What?! Did you just fall into their pussies, Z?!" Storming across the room, she grabbed their wedding picture from the bedside stand and smashed it on the floor, stomping on it until her left foot was bloody. Not caring, she continued her rant, "And I guess they just happened to 'Like' your facebook picture, too, huh?" She marched back over to her laptop and found his list of Friends. Yep, there they all were, Demeter, Alcmene, Danaë, and all the rest. ALL THE REST!

Feeling herself about to completely go off the deep end, Hera marched over to her ornate gold mirror and looked at herself. Her perfectly coiffed hair had come partially undone and she had ruby all over her mouth, not just on her lips. Her cheeks were a bright red and she could practically see the steam coming from her ears. She did as her therapist counseled and counted to 100. It didn't help. She was still livid!

Sitting back at her laptop, she saw a new post on Zeus' page. It was from Hercules and was a video of that Beyoncé woman, singing some song. She knew Zeus found the celebrity to be quite intriguing and she did NOT want any little Zeuslettes running around, singing on-stage in a few years. She had a mind to turn the star into a donkey - You like all that ass, Zeus, I'll give you ass, alright! - but that wouldn't do for these times. Pondering for a moment, she had another idea.

Heading into the bath to get cleaned up, she smiled. Zeus and the celebrity-watchers would never know what hit them.

Donald and Putin sittin' in a tree

F-U-C-K-I-N-G

First comes discourse

Then comes hate

Then comes drivel: Make America Great!

Donald and Putin had a good fuck

Minorities: you'll need more then good luck

First comes rigging

Then comes the wall

Then comes the scapegoats to take the fall

Donald and Putin went to the altar

Shit spewing mouths never seeming to falter

First goes the immigrant

Then goes the fag

Then goes the pussy, locker talkin bout a shag

Donald and Putin gunna one day go to war

Cus Donald is soft; Putin's a power whore

First goes the bombs

Then goes the town

Then the economy is goin' down