humans are stuck in a limbo of,

what is this,

what isn't this,

to what do i know-

to what do i die.

forced to perform to an audience of it's own squalor,

to whom does my mind swear it's alliance?

with god's rotting flesh-- dark dried ichor-- as my witness,

eyes are upon me endlessly.

romeo, oh romeo, wherefore art thou?

you, young waverer, why are you romeo? from what empty void do your lies come from? tell me, young waverer, how do you fill it with teaspoons?

your eyes are so crisply blue, young waverer, so intensely cold as they turn me away.

you simply must dramaticize everything, everyone, young romeo. you must profess your love to your rosaline, your juliet, the woman at the end of the bar because of course, what would your heart do without it? mercutio did say, dreamers often lie.

forgiveness was a daze i could not snap out of.

wherefore art thou, romeo? wherefore art thou a liar?

and what of chess?

how do i enjoy something so, yet fear it

because the feeling is

the intensity is

too much

and i would rather live my life in neutrality

twin flame,

burning me to the ground.

twin flame,

melting me down.

twin flame,

leaving me- leaving us ashes and rubble strewn around.

twin flame,

ie my burning mirror- my sweet bitter irony.

am i the right person at the wrong time,

or am i enamored with my demise?

forgive me father for i have sinned.

i have sinned, and her gardenia,

green tea breath speaks purple and red down my neck.

forgive me father for i have sinned. 

i have sinned when her fingers drag down the curve of my hip and

forgive me father for i have sinned. 

sinned in the rhythm of my heart-- my sacrifice to her. 

sinned.

i scream above me to sappho in her weaving,

can her aphrodite see me now? 

flesh and blood and enamored with my demise,

i pray to her. 

who is the songbird that sings me,

along my dark, twisted path of love and light?

her eyes are heavy like mine,

sinking with the weight of a passing stranger's prejudice. 

wrapped in one another we curse the earth and the heavens. 

we curse the breaking of eggshells and strings of song,

and our own bloody nihilism. 

i'll crack open my veins and pour out the contents for us to drink,

my light,

forgive me father for i have sinned.