Everything has their very own beginning.

In which it can be beautiful,

Or a nightmare.

Yet usually, it is both the mixture of the two.

Until days turn into years of living,

Suddenly, it begin to create an art of itself.

That can be vague–meaningless, 

Or worth for infinite words or shapes.

But for these two canvases,

They created it in a tormenting way.

Where she is the calm before the storm,

And he is the dawn before the sunrise,

To which their life didn't begin with such vibrant colors.

Therefore, theirs was just a shade.

It sucks to have a family that never teach nor show you how to love.

Until...

You unexpectedly fall in love with your best friend. You thought it was the best thing that could ever happen until you realized that they don't love you back- which is suck. Especially when it's been almost a decade up until now he has no idea that you love him even if it pains you to see him being happy and lively with someone he really loves.

You've been dying to confess but you can't. You can't tell him when you know his answer would be a big fat N and O. Also the chances of ruining what you two have built in your friendship- you can't just ruin that. You can't. But in some way, your friendship with him still ruined.

so it's useless.

Then you tried to find love but love itself doesn't want to be found by you. This lead into desperation, you seek it to everyone. You even give piece by piece of your heart until there's nothing left to give. Yet no one- as in no one gives you a single piece. They left you completely empty.

You tried to love yourself in the hopes to create a new heart but every time you look in the mirror, every time you are in the middle of a crowd, every time it's midnight and you are wide awake; all you can see is your own pity, flaws, and insecurities.

So you just give up and let yourself just wither away and suffer every single day, waiting,

until you no longer exist.

It's been years

I'm still stuck in the midair,

continue falling;

waiting to break.

But at the back of my mind,

I am still hoping

that you will catch me

someday, somewhere

in the midair.

Timestamp: July 25, 2016; 3:36pm

When the night invades

my supposed silence,

there are things that kept me

awake, hurt, and confuse.

You, you, and you

Timestamp: July 21, 2016; 11:23pm

He wants a damsel in distress,

not a warrior who can take care of herself.

He wants a princess who he can protect,

not a knight who will stand beside him

and fight all the monsters they'll face.

For some reason, this is the fall of the strongest

because even the most shielded fearless warrior,

needs a shield for her weak, fragile heart.

Timestamp: July 21, 2016; 10:26pm