The water shimmers as it reflects the lights

Green one minute, purple the next

A long way down to the water below

A long way from a place called home

Next they turn blue

Like the colour of her hair

Then the colour is new

And I can feel that she cares

There's a hand on my arm

As the lights change again

There's a hand on my shoulder

And a voice in my ear

They pull me away from the edge where I stand

Away from the ledge as they're holding my hand

As our eyes finally meet

I look down to my feet

On solid ground

As I finally felt found

We walked from the bridge

And nothing mattered from my past

'She was all the colours, all at once, on full blast'.

I don't understand life.

The way it gives and takes.

The way it bends and breaks.

How it gives you something wonderful.

Something that fills your soul.

It fill you to the brim,

and yet

it then just pushes you down

simply to remind you that

you wont be found

maybe it gives you a person

This person understands you

Loves you

And is as close to perfect as can be

but then it makes you realize

that it will end

not because someone dies

or because time seems to fly

but because it tells you that you aren't worthy of their love

you push people away as it tells you too

it makes you believe that you are unlovable by anyone

because after all

we accept the love we think we deserve.

Do you ever wake up and think to your self, "Why does all of this happen to me?" This is a prevalent thought for us to think. It is the thought that drives us to the next day. We yearn to know the answer. We yearn to know the feeling of purpose and the role these events play in our lives. You sit up as the mental list of tragedies runs through your mind, "My girlfriend left me, a dear friend died, my mentors were imprisoned, I lost my home, the people I thought friend turned out to be foe, two of my family die in a week, and the list goes on." All you can think to yourself is the pain that all of this has caused you, and the agony that you know it will cause. You know that the day is only going to get worse. You know that you have to go to school. You dread that school. You stare at the doors, waiting for you to unlock them, but all you can do is stand there. You can't go in, because you know that if you do you will endure the endless daily taunting and nagging, the relentless hate and ridicule, the searing pain as your eyes burn like fire. The burn, but not in passion, but in pain as the tears that you hold back sting your eyes and flow anyway. You go to your dance classes after school where you know you don't belong. Everyone expects you to do it all, but all you want to do is run away to a place with animals and the sea. You torture your heart and mind as you long for the sea and what lies beneath. You go home to the piles of work due the next day. As you sit there, your face red, but not wet for you have cried all the tears you have to cry, you know that this day will occur again tomorrow. You know that nothing will change, so you just sit there thinking of the torment and wonder "When is it enough?"

Each day I see her, each day I love her, and each day I know that she is not mine. I look into her eyes, I watch her elegant body as she dances across the black marley. Black marley, representitive of my hope. Hope, what is hope and how do we know that we have hope and not a want. Want, much different from desire, but what is it?

When I see her this is how I feel. Though she belongs to none but her family and her God, I want her to be mine and I her's. Everyday I want to hold her in my arms and never let go, yet time and time again...

No.

I long for the day when I can stay up one night talking to her and tell her how I feel about her. The day when I can gain the approval of her father to take her to a dance. The day when we can sit in the woods listening to nature. Or the day when she says "I love you,". But these things may never happen because of the uncertainty of the world that we live in. We could get into a horrible accident and die tomorrow; so, don't live life in what if's, live them in the here and now and say yes to adventure and opportunity. "Make the most of today, go live life the real way." - Gary Turk.