litany of a stressed schoolgirl

i regret being alive

at seven every morning

on the dot, without a doubt,

when i know 

i'm going to be 

late for class,

with my english teacher,

who thinks i'm good for nothing;

and my mother

will get called to school,

if it happens 

one more time,

and i'm not tired.

i simply want

to tear my hair out,

and 

scream,

endlessly.

i regret being alive

when i wake

with a splitting headache,

the million alarms 

still ringing 

in my head,

all of which i turned off

so i could sleep 

through them

without doing 

my homework.

and i don't want to cry.

i just want to live in hawaii,

beside the beach,

like a hippie.

another day

of not raising my hand in class,

because i'm shy;

another day 

of my grades

getting lower.

i feed the fish

we keep alive

to experiment on.

i see a friend

and we're laughing

in the library.

i water the plants

in our garden

for agriculture class.

sure, i'm tired,

but i'm kind of 

happy.