Faminals!

You know when you walk through a zoo, and all the animals that are trapped there for your amusement are neatly separated into enclosures? Well, that's what the street was like where I grew up.

We were in the Yowwa enclosure and my neighbours had their own little spreads too, right on up the street, just like a zoo.

In my enclosure there was a huge sign as you entered:

'CAUTION, you may notice an odd atmosphere within, do not take sides or show preference for one exhibit over another'

It was an odd place.

My Mom was most definitely a Silverback, she was The Boss Hogg of the family unit, constantly patrolling our perimeter and maintaining order. There was just one rule - rather like the sacred rule in Fight Club - You Do Not Ever Make Eye Contact With Mom. That was dangerous, as her moods constantly hovered between 'I'll Kill You' and 'I'll Beat You, Then I'll Kill You'.

Dad was always in the background (when he was there). He was my favourite parent, but like me he always had one eye on what he was doing, and the other on the nearest escape route should Mom decide he needed discipline. I guess my Dad was a Lamb, he was playful and amiable, but he was out of work and hence a target.

That leaves me. I was in the middle, I was often to be found either outside our enclosure listening to the War that was going on inside, or inside the enclosure being a punchbag. I guess I was a Clown Fish, sort of like Nemo.

Slowly come out, look around, and slowly go back.

That was us. Sort of Addams Family minus the values!