The Tantalizing Tale of Horny Santa

        Horny Santa was feeling very unsatisfied. 

        He frustratingly stuffed his mouth with cookies while grimacing down at eleven elven assembly lines, swigging a green goblet of extra-spiked eggnog. Production today is down three and a half percent. My plan was to end the day on a high note. Fuck this shit. Horny Santa always loved being ahead of production schedule and always loathed being behind it. Whatever. He finished his remaining cookie and eggnog. Day's over.

        Horny Santa returned to his bed chamber to find an escort, one Mistress Claus, lying on her chest, wearing nothing but a sparkly, red-and-green g-string. She turned the other way around and smiled devilishly. "Why hello there, daddy."

        "HO-HO!" daddy exclaimed. "Even though you've been such a naughty little girl, I literally decided, fuck it, and got you an early Christmas present."

        "Daddy! You shouldn't have!"

        "Oh, but I did. And you know I'm the boss." Horny Santa proceeded to pull an eight-inch nutcracker out of his pocket.

        "Oh my goodness!" cried Mistress Claus. "It's so beautiful."

        Horny Santa smiled smugly, eagerly, lustfully. "That it is. More importantly, it's useful!" He pressed his finger upon the nutcracker's chest, and its head started vibrating vehemently. Horny Santa walked slowly toward the bed on which Mistress Claus laid, and before she could remove her remaining garment, the jolly man was gently pressing his early Christmas gift against her moistening crotch.

        It wasn't long before Mistress Claus instinctively reached for Horny Santa's own crotch. As usual, that region became rock-hard in less than ten seconds. He swiftly replaced the nutcracker with his nutsaber and suddenly, time and space for him and her became inundated by erotic pleasure and sexual unity. 

*        *        *

        After giving the gift of a fourth orgasm, Horny Santa jubilantly withdrew his pleasure-weapon and let Mistress Claus nutcrack him all over her chest. 

        Horny Santa now felt very satisfied, and passed the fuck out.

THE END