Nowhere But Not As We Know It.......

Who am I, really?

Maybe the question, the one that cuts to the core is "what am I, really?"

Perhaps a verb rather than a noun. Or not. I'm calling it as a work in progress.

See, I've never been able to locate myself through assignments like occupation, interests, behavior, neurosis', relationships, personalty, beliefs, appearance, possessions or even experience.

These are merely manifestations bought into being by the actual idea being sought.

But me? Nah.......

They gave me a name though. That was handy. A way to identify this body from other bodies. Normally though, a lot of my attention goes into ignoring that name. I've found that, most of the time, when people use that word they want you to do stuff for them, that you don't actually want to do.

So I'm inherently lazy........ but even that is not me. But maybe a clue. A point of non identification. Or apathy.

If not that, then what?

This is where I've found (me) fleetingly yet profoundly......

At the apex of joy, in the depths of loss, the throes of communication, the absence of mind, at the heart of all things and at the point of love.

Even that though .......is just an intuitive feeling punctuated by resonance.

Yeah, I know...... an esoteric can of worms but hey.......what has rational explanation and self identification ever done for you? Apart from helping to break your mind when the machinery collapses. In itself, not a bad thing, just a thing.

So I guess, long answer short......I dunno. Do you?