Fraud

I don’t know why... but I can’t. “You’re doing great!” “You’re awesome!” “You did it!”

These are things I never say. From thousand compliments I only see the flaw, the rejection, the unbearable criticism. And it’s the only one I believe, as if it was my faith and religion. When someone tells me a honest warm compliment I condemn it. I think they’re lying. An echoing evil voice whispers into me “it’s all a big fat lie”. Lies lies lies! I don’t know why am I so afraid of myself, of what’s within me. I live in a infinite fraud, so long to almost believe that I’m not suffering. But irremediably before I can achieve that... I stop. And again I sabotage myself with a big big scam.