A mans love story.

So, there is a moment. The one that is portrayed in movies and stories. The one when you see someone and that's it! You just know. That is and isn't what happens here.

Somewhere in the holiday months of 2004 I was working at a Chinese restaurant. I was one of four American servers, of which I was the only male. Needless to say, it was a small place in a small town.

At the end of work one night, we closed up and I walked one of the other servers out to her car. We weren't dating, but we did occasionally sit out in one of our cars in the parking lot and make out. She was cool and it seemed like things were moving in the dating direction. Until this one night in particular.

I was walking my friend to her car and I was carrying my guitar. Which during slow downtime at work I would sit back in the corner and play. Plus, chicks dig musicians. As we got closer to her car, I noticed something move in her back seat. Under a blanket the was something or someone moving. I told her "someone is in you car!" She seemed surprised and nervous. I put my hand on the handle, rearing back my guitar as defense. When I heard two girls yell "don't hit us! It's us!"

Two girls got out of the car. Probably more surprised than we were. The first one I knew through some friends and had met previously. Then the other got out. There she was, you know, that moment.

I remember everything about it. I remember what she was wearing. The surprised, yet playful smile on her face. In that moment she seemed to float. Everything outside my view of her just became blurred colors, almost immaterial. The only thing I cared about at the moment was knowing who she was.

Just like that, she was gone. I'd lived in this town for seven years and never seen her. For all I knew didn't live anywhere near my town. I was wrong.

A year and a half later. I was in a somewhat serious relationship. She worked at Sonic drive-in with one of my best friends who was a manager. One night my girlfriend and I stopped by sonic for some drinks after a day of swimming. When our drinks arrived I looked up at the car-hop to pay her. It was her! It was that girl. I remembered her immediately, she remembered me too. We exchanged how are you's to each other, I paid for the drinks and we left. One week later my best friend said they needed cooks and offered me a job. I accepted without hesitation. I soon found out her name, Brittany.

The next 4 months we were able to get to know a little about one another. The playful work relationship turning to playful flirting. That turned into joking about what if you/I were boyfriend and girlfriend and what our favorite kid names were for future children. We both loved the boy name Max. We were both in relationships. Hers was a douchebag guy in the Navy and mine a very protective, watchful girl who worked with us. Then one night of playful flirting turned into a kiss we had both obviously wanted, judging by the passion and sincerity from both of us. At that moment in my life, I was for the first time %100 sure, she was my girl and will always be the girl I want. Fireworks do exist inside a kiss, they really really do. I broke up with my girlfriend that night, I was sure she would eventually do the same. But she didn't.

A few months later we were still very much doing the same things. I was the guy she always wanted her boyfriend to be. I was always surprising her with little sweet gestures. Telling her how beautiful she was, not just to me, but to the world. Going to all the places he wouldn't go with her. I was essentially a "Jody." It hurt, a lot! All the time. I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop. If I could have a quarter of a day where I was hers and the rest where she seemed torn between, I took it.

I was ridiculed by my friends and told that I was dumb to believe she would ever leave him. This went on for a year. I couldn't stop, I couldn't give up. She was my girl and I knew that. She knew that.

After all that time we had both had ups and downs. Just like we were together all along. Technically, we were, just with out the title. Until one day it hit me. She may have loved me and cared for me deeply. I knew she wouldn't leave him. After an afternoon of mixed emotions and an overall drowsiness for both of us in riding that roller coaster for so long. I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't want someone so badly and not be able to love her the way I should be able to. The way we both deserved to be loved. We said our goodbyes and I left. Knowing it would be a long time for me to find something I loved like that. It doesn't just happen everyday, ya know.

She called me the next day. Crying uncontrollably and asking me to come over. I did, she was in her drive way, crying. I knew it had something to do with her boyfriend, this is how it was normally. This time it was different. She told me in a sobbing cracking voice "he said I was a whore! He said I deserve to be miserable." I asked why he said those things. She said "I told him I am in love with someone else. Someone who loves me more than I thought someone could." She said "I told him everything." Which meant he new she cheated on him with me, more than once. Which I wasn't at the slightest twisted about seeing as he had cheated a few times himself, of which he was forgiven. I will never apologize for what we did, I always believed she was mine, anyways. To me she was. She told me in her drive way "if you still want this, if you still want me, after all I've done...." I said "I never stopped wanting this, I won't ever stop wanting this. You're my girl."

Ten years later, I still haven't stopped wanting this or her. I still want her the same way I always did. Max is now three and beautiful mix of her and I both. He has her eyes and is smart like her, too. Love is a very real thing. Truthfully, in my opinion, the most real thing in all the universe. I would suffer being the man on the side all over again for her. I will always want her like that.