Dear John
John...I am scared. If you are reading this something terrible has happened. I fear that is exactly how this will end...terribly. I have locked myself in the closet and it is dark, I can see a little light under the door but that is all. John...There is something out there, outside this door. I can hear it now. Oh, God John it's horrible. All I can hear is gargling and shuffling and scratching. What is it John! John...Something just bumped the door! Shhhh....I must be quiet now John...I hear him...not him...I can hear it.
But I must calm myself. I need to say some things. If you are reading this you will know that I was found naked and Phillip is laying on the floor outside in the bedroom. John you will know what happened and I cannot tell you how sorry I am. If you are reading this you will read about all the days before this and you will know everything. Everything horrible and evil about me...I am so sorry. If you are to know anything ever again please know that you were always my only true love...I don't know how this happened...it just did. And now God is punishing me...oh God please!
Dammit!
Dammit!
John...what Phillip and I had meant nothing... I do not know if I was lonely, or angry or just weak, God, I just don't know, it's just too crazy. You have been so distant since the baby...I have been so alone. Damn, you John why did you leave me alone so many nights! I hated you...I hated you...I hate you now.
No I don't John...I love. I do...I love you no matter how this looks. This didn't mean....
Oh...John...JOHN!...whatever is out there knows I am in here. It's scratching the door. Oh my God John help me!
Help me!
Shhh...quiet
I saw it...I saw it John. It pushed it's fingers under the door. My God John it was wearing Phillips wedding ring. I could see his wedding ring. That thing has taken Phillips ring...what is going on! I can't take this John...I can't breath. I must calm down.
I'm better now. John, please know this meant nothing. I did not love Phillip and I feel horrible that this is how it will end. I wish I could take everything back. I want to go back to when we were happy...remember that day at the college? We had that $3 bottle of wine and that cheap cheddar cheese that tasted like wax? Do you remember that day John? Please, remember that day...we were so happy and in love. Do not remember this day John...today never happened but that day at the college happened. It was a sunny day and we were on the quad behind the Union building...You were my Enormous Druid and you said the cheese was confusing and not delicious. Oh, we laughed. And we kissed. I loved you John...I love you now.
I am calm now. Whatever is outside this door is going to break in soon. I know my end now. I love you. Take care of the baby...raise him to be the man you are. He will do so much and go so far. Do not tell him of this day or how I was found. Tell him about how I loved you and remember the happy times.
Forever yours
Angie