Depression

the thoughts are heavy 

the suicidal frequency 

is messing with my soundwaves 

with all the truth I have shed 

I have only a drop of blood 

left 

my velvet stained sleeves baptized in the blood of my broken done heart 

my crimson ink 

drying up and emotionally numb

I don't want to hurt myself 

I just want to silence these thoughts 

the rain cloud is thick and heavy 

pouring liquated metal 

atrophying in my cocoon 

of feelings 

turn hard 

heart going in a fetal position 

hands enfolded across my breast 

laying my soul 

to rest 

the angel of life 

has to come and finally 

tilt my eyelids shut 

my skin 

going cold 

slowly pulling the sheets 

over my head 

and cry 

and I beg you to let me out of this hell

help me please 

I can't keep holding on 

the fight is too much 

the darkness 

crawling and suck all 

of my breath 

swallowing 

the last 

gulp 

of the crisp 

a thick and opaque air of depression 

raining a rainfall of 

tears 

flooding up the room 

tears flowing 

streaming 

into the river 

of old tears 

heart feels heavy 

like it's drowning 

to the pit 

of disparity 

and unworthiness 

my stomached 

bursting 

to the gut 

with thoughts 

and emotion 

that i can't get out

pushing my fingers down 

my throat until

I puke up these feelings 

till I taste the puke 

of tasteless 

words 

taste buds tinged and taste of 

depression

eyes grey and still -born and drained 

of its light 

the smile that was there disappeared 

the voices sound like the demons in my head 

depression this transgression

that I can't get rid of 

this thorn in the flesh 

that makes it hard 

for me to get out 

of bed 

thoughts 

arthic 

faith 

of things will get better 

heart beat is stagnant 

Tyla you don't want to hurt yourself 

Tyla your not suicidal

put the knife down 

put it down 

I have to kill myself 

they said I have too 

who the voices 

in my head 

they said if I don't kill myself 

I would be a liar 

and letting depression down 

and you don't want to let depression 

down because it will just get nothing but worse 

come on 

your better than this 

you fought the voices each time 

you can fight them 

go to the ring 

and give em hell 

she tried to hang herself on the same rope that she used to hang on for hope 

until it snapped in half  just like her mind