Jump At Life

So far, I have learned the most important action is to jump at life. For me, it's literal. You'll see why...

I grew up in a beautiful upper class area of 'life'. We were advised to be focused on major achievements to gain respect and success (makes lots of money). Yes, I was the smarty pants in school. Yes, I was successful at any hobby I would pick up on. Yes, I was in the process of making those around me proud of predicting how far I would excel based on their standards. No, I did not know what I actually wanted. Or who I was.

Fast forward-- At age 27 I was diagnosed with a borderline stage 3 malignant oligoastrocytoma. (A brain tumor you DO NOT want.) For quite some time prior I was in fact losing my soul. My love for life was diminishing, due in part to the tumor taking my cognitive behavior, but also because I was mainly focused on pleasing everyone around me and not myself.

Post craniotomy there was a remote time frame needed to reconstruct brain activity, but in turn helped me realize it is required that I jump at life.

In a sense I feel blessed to be handed a deck where I had to accept that my life may be traumatically shortened, in that I am focused on chasing what makes me actually alive and focusing on every milli-second. (You'll see why/how in a few...) In the beginning of recovery I did not know who I was, let alone who I could ever become. I did not know my name. I couldn't handle family photos with "me" in them. What's my mother's name? The only thing I held on to was the love for the sport I jumped into, (pun intended), a few years before my tumor took its toll.

I am in love with body flight and canopy piloting. I have full control. I am a skydiver. Rather than adhering to what others believe I should become I am reinventing myself and further in remission than what was predicted of my prognosis.

What many of us do not actually clench is that our lives can be captured sooner than planned. Life shoves sudden shock. We do not hold crystal balls. If given a time frame of life expectancy, would you be soaring the same sky you are in right now? Would you try to speed up and actually do "back burner" accomplishments? I greatly feared the possibility of me never even writing again since my brain damage caused a severe lapse of cognitive functioning. But here I am. I can't hold back anymore. I have to jump at life.

My passion has given me a focus on physical and mental well being. I focus on a hair of a second to ensure beautiful flight. Though it's difficult for those to perceive what my passion is, I do all I can one day at a time to achieve MY personal goals. I WILL achieve something that has been a goal since a young age but did not know what discipline it could be in: A WORLD RECORD. (I am actually in training for it right now.) I refuse to hold back on even humble ideas. I make all words as if they're my last. I can't waste time going through the motions. I can't hold on to past scenarios and let scars stand out. I can only let go of fear and engulf what I love in life. It is more than just skydiving. It has all given me light in my sky. It's taught me to jump at life.