Girl Scout Cookies

I'd love to buy some of your girl scout cookies, but my doctor told me that if I eat any more of them, even just one, then I would explode and launch chunks of my flesh and organs onto everyone around me! The combination of the sugar and other life shortening ingredients found in your cookies would build up large amounts of gas that my body just wouldn't be able to handle, thus resulting in my gory death. The bloody stains and guts that my body would leave on the surfaces of my explosive death would result in the area being marked off, as no other human being would ever want to come into contact with anything my blown up body came into contact with.

The smell would attract beings from hell, who would drag helpless victims who came too close to the scene and rip their skin from their body. The demons would place the skins of their victims on the walls of the area to display their demonic passion to all who came by. Once they gather enough victims, they would commence a demonic ceremony to summon their demon master who would rain death upon the earth.

Humanity would be at a great risk of extinction as the demons from hell slaughtered any living being they could find. The amount of death and destruction would throw the world into an apocalyptic melt down before ultimately causing the earth itself to explode. Ending all life on earth as we know it.

The amount of lost souls from earth would cause a black hole, the size of which the observable universe has never beard witness too. All things that have ever been would be sucked up into this black hole, which after sucking up everything in existence, would implode on itself eliminating all existence and cause an end to everything...

Also, I don't have cash...